[ESTJ] ESTJ traits

[runvardh]

Some more additions to the list...

- Appear confident 24/7, to the point that even close friends don't realize that they have moments when they need reassurance
- Because of that confidence, may seem arrogant when they're often the exact opposite
- Seem so opinionated that many are afraid to debate them, even though they're much more easily convinced than you'd think
- Will almost NEVER admit defeat
- Contrary to popular belief, if they don't recognize a rule as being important, necessary or just, they probably won't follow it
- Very vocal about anything that they see as unjust, stupid or nonsensical*
- Have a strong innate talent for not thinking about things
- Easily embarrassed, especially by friends/family who draw a lot of attention
- Not very good at being teased sometimes (sometimes accused of "taking things too personally" or told that they "need to lighten up")
- Tendency to avoid strong painful emotions, and angriness at people who make them feel that way


*This happened to me in a cafeteria, when I heard about a "stupid" rule, got all hot and bothered, and practically interrogated the manager until I saw that the rule made sense.

Some of these I identify with generally, others like the apperance of arrogance tends to happen more when shit's coming a part and things need to get dealt with NOW. It's tough being an F and being called stone cold after the necessity subsides; the frightened look in people's eyes as they stare at you after the dust settles.

 

[EJCC]

Some of these I identify with generally, others like the apperance of arrogance tends to happen more when shit's coming a part and things need to get dealt with NOW. It's tough being an F and being called stone cold after the necessity subsides; the frightened look in people's eyes as they stare at you after the dust settles.

Welcome to my life! I feel like that pretty much every day. Is it my fault that I'm type-A, and that I care enough about things getting done right that I'll step in wherever and whenever I can? Actually, don't answer that.

But in all seriousness... yup, that would be your shadow ESTJ at work! Just like my shadow INFP, who you can tell is wreaking havoc when I'm just sitting there quietly for a long time, not reacting to much, thoughtful, like a sad and serious introvert.

 

[Sam Spade]

Currently in a relationship with an ESTJ and she isn't demanding or controlling like people make ESTJs out to be. In fact, three of my good friends are also ESTJs and none of these stereotypical qualities have been apparent. As with other posters, I have noticed far much more controlling qualities from those on the extreme EF side of things, but this could easily be my own bias showing.

 

[runvardh]

Welcome to my life! I feel like that pretty much every day. Is it my fault that I'm type-A, and that I care enough about things getting done right that I'll step in wherever and whenever I can? Actually, don't answer that.

But in all seriousness... yup, that would be your shadow ESTJ at work! Just like my shadow INFP, who you can tell is wreaking havoc when I'm just sitting there quietly for a long time, not reacting to much, thoughtful, like a sad and serious introvert.

LOL, I've watched the wrong way fail and mess with me often enough that the minute I see it start my blood pressure rises. That along with some indoctrination from my father just makes it worse.

Oh, what do you think of tools that only half work and break after a couple uses?

 

[EJCC]

LOL, I've watched the wrong way fail and mess with me often enough that the minute I see it start my blood pressure rises.

Yes. Welcome to the ESTJ club!

Have a cup of Te.

Oh, what do you think of tools that only half work and break after a couple uses?

No point. Waste of money. Better to get a quality product.

 

[runvardh]

No point. Waste of money. Better to get a quality product.

How about the kind you're forced to work with...

 

[sui generis]

Have a cup of Te.

:yim_rolling_on_the_

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

How about the kind you're forced to work with...

After being surrounded by NF's (I'm only one of two T's that work at my place. I love 'em don't get me wrong but man...different wavelengths!) I would to work with an ESTJ.

 

[runvardh]

After being surrounded by NF's (I'm only one of two T's that work at my place. I love 'em don't get me wrong but man...different wavelengths!) I would to work with an ESTJ.

I was meaning poor quality tools

 

[EJCC]

How about the kind you're forced to work with...

OH. In that case... RRRRRRRGH! :steam: I HATE THEM.

<--This is me attacking whoever designed the stupid things.

:yim_rolling_on_the_

I know - I'm so pun-ny.

 

[Robopop]

Unfortunately I live with an unhealthy ESTJ(father), he puts me down alot, he thinks something is wrong with me because I am introverted(thinks I have a "disability"). He is quick to judge other people with their problems and considers himself better than those he judges but he has a gambling problem and can't keep any money and is a sorry excuse for a father.

He is the biggest bigot and hypocrite I know and doesn't even realize it, the irony of some of the things he says is really humorous to me. He is the stereotypical loud, aggressive, closed-minded, self righteous idiot and I have to live with it. My sister had a really hard time getting along with him growing up and was actively rebellious against him. I remember being yelled at constantly because I wasn't the most organized child, even when he was helping me with my homework he used to yell and curse at me. The bad part is he thinks he is very "intelligent" and I'm slow(because I'm quiet and soft-spoken), but in reality I'm am alot more intelligent, thoughtful, and wiser than he'll ever be.

I guest he thinks highly of himself because he served in the US Army for 25 years and was a high school math teacher, but nothing excuses his blatant disregard for his children. I try to keep the peace and avoid conflict with him so I try to lessen my presence around him as much as possible. I am sorry for providing a bad example of a ESTJ but this is my experience with one that I know.

 

[Southern Kross]

:steam: One of my best girl friends is an INFP and we're both stubborn as hell! It's frustrating, and surprisingly I am usually the one who backs down when we're having an argument. (Usually the arguments are about issues or ideas-- I don't think we've ever had a fight in ten years of friendship!) Preserving my friendship with her is more important than being right-- even if only slightly.

Quite! I don't know if I can speak for ALL ESTJs, but I've got an overactive conscience. It's one of my favorite things about myself.

My INFP best friend and I often come to the same conclusions about issues (especially politically) but come around to them by using a completely different train of thought.

Similar story here.

Its strange that two complete opposing types have these weird crossovers. My sister has very strong values like myself. Fundamentally, she and I have same moral beliefs (being raised in the same house will do that) but we interpret them very differently. Now that we're adults 90% of our disagreements are about politics, issues and ideas because those are what we both feel passionately about.

Unfortunately I live with an unhealthy ESTJ(father), he puts me down alot, he thinks something is wrong with me because I am introverted(thinks I have a "disability"). He is quick to judge other people with their problems and considers himself better than those he judges but he has a gambling problem and can't keep any money and is a sorry excuse for a father.

He is the biggest bigot and hypocrite I know and doesn't even realize it, the irony of some of the things he says is really humorous to me. He is the stereotypical loud, aggressive, closed-minded, self righteous idiot and I have to live with it. My sister had a really hard time getting along with him growing up and was actively rebellious against him. I remember being yelled at constantly because I wasn't the most organized child, even when he was helping me with my homework he used to yell and curse at me. The bad part is he thinks he is very "intelligent" and I'm slow(because I'm quiet and soft-spoken), but in reality I'm am alot more intelligent, thoughtful, and wiser than he'll ever be.

I guest he thinks highly of himself because he served in the US Army for 25 years and was a high school math teacher, but nothing excuses his blatant disregard for his children. I try to keep the peace and avoid conflict with him so I try to lessen my presence around him as much as possible. I am sorry for providing a bad example of a ESTJ but this is my experience with one that I know.

Yeah, that's a pretty unhealthy ESTJ. Sounds like you've had a rough time . Some people (and this goes for any type) have trouble accepting that there are many different kinds of people that are good at different things and if we didn't have that, society wouldn't function.

 

[Sil]

My sister is almost certainly an ESTJ and I want to know more about the type. Being an INFP and the opposite type, we have tended to clash a bit in the past but we are getting to a place where we get along better. She's not someone that is all that interested in MBTI so it would be nice to discuss the type here. And I find most of the descriptions a little unimaginative, saying little more than " very organized" and "a natural leader" in a variety of different ways.

If you are an ESTJ or know one well, tell me about yourself/them. What are some ESTJ traits beyond the obvious stuff? What would we be surprised to know about ESTJs? I'm looking for more positive stuff but the odd insightful flaw is welcome.

To start off, here is a little about my sister. She:
- is a natural leader ( ) and whatever situation she is in somehow she ends up in positions of authority
- is lively and sociable people person and a bit of a party girl
- has high expectations for herself and holds others up to the same standards.
- is extremely loyal but unfortunately people often fail to reciprocate this.
- is hard-working, responsible and reliable even when she doesn't want to be. She often gets unfairly used by others for this reason.
- has strong values and sticks to them resolutely. This can cause problems when she won't allow exceptions to the rule.
- thinks she is not good enough in some way, that she is not what she should be. This feeling particularly seems to arise when around our ESFJ cousin.
- is very laid back and easy-going in general but if someone crosses her they experience the full force of her wrath.
- is very assertive and not afraid of verbal confrontation.
- has a great sense of humour and has a rather silly streak.
- is a mix of toughness and soft femininity.
- practically every guy that knows her is at least a little bit in love with her.
- not easily tempted to getting into relationships. When she does she is a really excellent, understanding and fun girlfriend.
- likes to makes sure the people she cares about are taken care of.

Anyone identify with these qualities?

I relate to the bolded.

Traits:

1. Consistently occupied. My time is always filled up with things to do.
2. Like to josh with people, especially people who are uptight or quick to offense.
3. Hot and cold. When I'm good, it's good. When I'm angry, being around me can be aggravating.
4. Very protective of people I care about. I also give them royal treatment.
5. Socially competent, like to talk with others, good at engaging strangers.
6. Slow to react if I don't feel there's an immediate need for it. Sometimes means I react to things too late.
7. Focused on goals.
8. Not good with my feelings, have learned how to be good with other peoples' feelings.
9. Exceedingly generous with people who have counter views/beliefs. Tend to always look for the reason why somebody thinks contrary to me rather than jumping on people for being different. By far one of the more open-minded and tolerant people I know (though definitely not the most. I have some friends who far outpace me). Also ties back into the slow to react #6.
10. Approach life largely from a pragmatic standpoint. I make decisions based largely on usefulness and efficiency. It's great.
11. Adventurous. Willing to try most things once.
12. Quickly fall in and out of fascination with ideas. I often enjoy the idea over acting on it (this probably equates to laziness on some level).
13. Long-term thinker. I think in 10-20 years time-spans. Present is always a training ground for the future.

Might be surprised to know I'm easy to get along with. Most people I meet enjoy my company.

Work in the more artistic side of marketing. Also tend to enjoy artistic hobbies/activities. I enjoy science, too, though. Except anything chem related...although there's this idea in my head that requires some chem knowledge, so I might be passing back into that subject sometime in the near-ish future.

Have no problem breaking rules if I'm more interested in what happens when they're broken.

Love knowledge, thoroughly enjoy learning new things. Am a continuous self-educator.