[ISFJ] Ask an ISFJ 1.0!

[zelo1954]

If you may permit me as an outsider to post 5 things I like about the ISFJ type (and I'm really referring to female ISFJs here) these would be they:

1. Your warmth & caring attitude. People come first. Some of us "other types" actually need that.
2. Your reliabilty. When you say something will happen it always does.
2. Your ability to express your mind succinctly and intelligibly but with warmth.
3. Your ready assumption of the role of family matriarch.
4. Your willingness to move mountains for those you love.
5. Your parenting.

 

[Ene]

You're quite welcome!
we're very much creatures of habit and when someone buggers up our routines or expectations (and our sense of security or stability that comes with all that) we tend to react very negatively and as such people tend to see us as being very much "sticks in the mudd"

You know, I really get that.

 

[Ene]

You're quite welcome!
we're very much creatures of habit and when someone buggers up our routines or expectations (and our sense of security or stability that comes with all that) we tend to react very negatively and as such people tend to see us as being very much "sticks in the mudd"

You know, I really get that.

If you may permit me as an outsider to post 5 things I like about the ISFJ type (and I'm really referring to female ISFJs here) these would be they:

1. Your warmth & caring attitude. People come first. Some of us "other types" actually need that.
2. Your reliabilty. When you say something will happen it always does.
2. Your ability to express your mind succinctly and intelligibly but with warmth.
3. Your ready assumption of the role of family matriarch.
4. Your willingness to move mountains for those you love.
5. Your parenting.

Zelo, Those are really great things. I like those things, too.

 

[RaptorWizard]

ISFJs, as SF types want do you think of other Ss and/or Fs that think they are or at least want to be Ns and/or Ts?

 

[tinker683]

ISFJs, as SF types want do you think of other Ss and/or Fs that think they are or at least want to be Ns and/or Ts?

I could not possibly care. That's their business.

 

[Giggly]

ISFJs, as SF types want do you think of other Ss and/or Fs that think they are or at least want to be Ns and/or Ts?

I don't like when S's change to N's.

 

[RaptorWizard]

I don't like when S's change to N's.

I asked this question because I could be an S who thinks I am N. That must mean I just joined the dark side and fell for the illusion!

 

[Giggly]

I asked this question because I could be an S who thinks I am N. That must mean I just joined the dark side and fell for the illusion!

Correct!

 

[RaptorWizard]

Do any of you ISFJs both like sports and are good at them or do you at least know any ISFJs who are?

 

[Giggly]

Do any of you ISFJs both like sports and are good at them or do you at least know any ISFJs who are?

Gosh, there's only two of us here now?
I like sports.
But I'll probably get bored of it quicker than a guy would.

 

[tinker683]

Do any of you ISFJs both like sports and are good at them or do you at least know any ISFJs who are?

When I was in middle school/high school I did a stint where I tried my hand at basketball. I couldn't dribble the ball worth a shit but swatting down a shot from a guy shorter than me was awesomely satisfying.

Since then though....no, not really

 

[theWurdsmith]

Just for me anyways...

1) I thrive on attention and affection and wither and become distant and distrustful without it. I don't mean you need to constantly dot on me but the best way to keep happy is a steady, consistent stream of interest from you

2) I *really* do not like unexpected surprises (unless they involve me coming home and finding my SO waiting for me with nothing but a rose between her teeth. That is completely acceptable )

3) I often come into anything I do with a certain set of expectations, be it my job or or a relationship. These projections may or may not be realistic or fair. The more the reality strays from these expectations, the more difficult time I have dealing with it. That's not to say I won't eventually adjust (I will) it just means I won't do so quietly.

4) I can't handle betrayal at all. You betray me or abuse me without a really damned good justifiable cause and you're on my blacklist until the end of time. Deal with it.

5) I often take up a caregiving role with someone, even if they don't truly need it. Humor me if you may, but otherwise gently let me know it's not necessary.

My ISFJ besty (yep an isfj+entp mix that completely works) is all of this that you have just listed. Nice post!

 

[tinker683]

My ISFJ besty (yep an isfj+entp mix that completely works) is all of this that you have just listed. Nice post!

Oh wow really? You don't happy to live in NE florida do you?

And yeah, I could see an ISFJ/ENTP dynamic duo working

 

[Honor]

Gosh, there's only two of us here now?
I like sports.
But I'll probably get bored of it quicker than a guy would.

This is random, and I hope you don't mind, but having read through this thread, you seem much like one of my best friends who is ESFP, Giggly.

 

[Tigerlily]

Should I bother with people who aren't reciprocal? Like if I don't reach out, I never hear from some people. I spent years listening to an ESFP's tragic life, marital issues, drinking problem, overall self sabotage with nothing to show, not even a Christmas card or phone call. I'm at the point where I need to cut her off for my own good.

 

[Honor]

Should I bother with people who aren't reciprocal? Like if I don't reach out, I never hear from some people. I spent years listening to an ESFP's tragic life, marital issues, drinking problem, overall self sabotage with nothing to show, not even a Christmas card or phone call. I'm at the point where I need to cut her off for my own good.

I don't think you should in general, though there are some exceptions (i.e. if a friend is going through a rough time and can't be as attentive to you as they should be for a while). I have had similar issues with people I have suspected are ESFP, coincidentally. If I were you, I would cut her out for sure. Don't let her prey on your good will and sap away your spirit!

 

[Giggly]

This is random, and I hope you don't mind, but having read through this thread, you seem much like one of my best friends who is ESFP, Giggly.

Hi. Maybe we're long lost twins.

Should I bother with people who aren't reciprocal? Like if I don't reach out, I never hear from some people. I spent years listening to an ESFP's tragic life, marital issues, drinking problem, overall self sabotage with nothing to show, not even a Christmas card or phone call. I'm at the point where I need to cut her off for my own good.

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. I know you're disappointed in this person, I think you should distance yourself from this person and the situation if it's really upsetting to you, but keep an open mind to the possibility of them coming back to you in the future. Sometimes people are just terrible human beings and don't deserve your time but sometimes people are going through tough times and act in very impolite ways. One day they may come out of their fog and see/remember you and reach out to you and it would be nice if you were there for them.

 

[Tigerlily]

I don't think you should in general, though there are some exceptions (i.e. if a friend is going through a rough time and can't be as attentive to you as they should be for a while). I have had similar issues with people I have suspected are ESFP, coincidentally. If I were you, I would cut her out for sure. Don't let her prey on your good will and sap away your spirit!

Hi. Maybe we're long lost twins.

Wow. I'm sorry to hear that. I know you're disappointed in this person, I think you should distance yourself from this person and the situation if it's really upsetting to you, but keep an open mind to the possibility of them coming back to you in the future. Sometimes people are just terrible human beings and don't deserve your time but sometimes people are going through tough times and act in very impolite ways. One day they may come out of their fog and see/remember you and reach out to you and it would be nice if you were there for them.

Thank you [MENTION=16139]Honor[/MENTION] and [MENTION=4398]Giggly[/MENTION], for your replies. On one hand, I'm sympathetic, but on the other it's too exhausting, and honestly how many times can I listen to her gripe about how fucked up her life is?? I have issues of my own that I'm trying to deal with!

She hasn't contacted me in a while so I thought I was out of the woods, but today she's back in touch (on fb and calling) and I'm unsure of how to handle this. I realize people have problems, but the whole taking and never giving thing doesn't work for me. Also, I'm not sure if I mentioned earlier, but she's pregnant with her boyfriend's baby, and I've been her sounding board through most of the drama. When she separated from her husband and got her own place, her drinking continued, which led to her being a dumb ass and getting knocked up. She already has 5 kids (three of her own and her sisters two kids), so this baby will make 6 total. Also, I've never been a trashy person, so I admit I am judgmental towards her, even though I've tried very hard not to be. It's just that when she keeps fucking up and making stupid mistakes, I can't help but judge her, and myself for being associated with her.

Several of us were going to throw her a shower, but since she puts forth so little effort towards the friendship none of us have any interest in knocking ourselves out for her. I wish her well, but at this point I just want a peaceful drama free exit.

 

[Honor]

Depending on how unpleasant she is, I'd either cut her out immediately (not respond to any messages and if she does get through to you eventually, just tell her you've been very busy) or I'd start phasing her out (talk to her less and less while making your disdain for her known until eventually you're just hanging out with other people).

 

[Tigerlily]

How do you ignore someone on fb? I get that you don't reply, but she is starting to become confrontational.