[MBTI General] ISTJs Explained By ISTJs: Post your questions here!

[miss fortune]

I adore my ISTJ, I really do... he's wonderful and I know that I'll never go hungry or without a roof on my head or without physical contact, however, the whole Te/Fi view on humanity and manner of comportment are rather out of jive with my Fe heavy ESTP outlook and needs sometimes... sometimes I just need some reassurance that I'm doing ok... that I'm doing the right things in life and that I'm NOT fucking everything up that I do (with the rest of life, not in the relationship) and he NEVER seems to have that need and hasn't seemed to ever pick up on the idea that I might... how does one even APPROACH that topic with someone who seems incredibly self sufficient and self driven?

 

[IZthe411]

I adore my ISTJ, I really do... he's wonderful and I know that I'll never go hungry or without a roof on my head or without physical contact, however, the whole Te/Fi view on humanity and manner of comportment are rather out of jive with my Fe heavy ESTP outlook and needs sometimes... sometimes I just need some reassurance that I'm doing ok... that I'm doing the right things in life and that I'm NOT fucking everything up that I do (with the rest of life, not in the relationship) and he NEVER seems to have that need and hasn't seemed to ever pick up on the idea that I might... how does one even APPROACH that topic with someone who seems incredibly self sufficient and self driven?

We have our days when we doubt ourselves. We may not realize that we need reassurance, and won't seek it out, but I know for myself that recognition, especially unsolicited, unexpected recognition, does a lot for this ISTJ.

Experience has taught me that it sucks to feel like you're not doing well. To get that 'you're a big help, I appreciate what you're doing, etc' is a big boost. Since I want to build up the people around me I look for genuine ways to encourage those around me.

I'm not going to lie, sometimes it's easier said than done. But if I do a little digging internally the feeling wells up, and I find it in me to encourage when otherwise I may not have something.

Your best bet is to just let him know you need to hear a little encouragement and why. If he sees it's important he will make the effort. It may take some effort on his part at first but with practice and some reflection he'll get good at it.

 

[miss fortune]

I just ran across a letter that the man wrote a few years ago to his aunt but never sent in a notebook while I was looking for some scrap paper... he was really explaining how he thinks and feels in it (probably explains why he never sent it) and I was horrified at the inner workings of an ISTJ mind... I thought that I had a problem showing vulnerabilities and opening up... that man is a champion of it

I really shouldn't have read it, I feel embarassed that I did, but it DID give me some insight into how his brain works in a way

I've always been very open about expressing appreciation to him and I know that he TRIES... he just isn't very good at it and it often doesn't occur to him either, so I live in paranoid dread that I've fucked something up and I really don't want to nag him by asking him if I'm doing the right thing... he has his own troubles and such

 

[IZthe411]

I just ran across a letter that the man wrote a few years ago to his aunt but never sent in a notebook while I was looking for some scrap paper... he was really explaining how he thinks and feels in it (probably explains why he never sent it) and I was horrified at the inner workings of an ISTJ mind... I thought that I had a problem showing vulnerabilities and opening up... that man is a champion of it

I really shouldn't have read it, I feel embarassed that I did, but it DID give me some insight into how his brain works in a way

I've always been very open about expressing appreciation to him and I know that he TRIES... he just isn't very good at it and it often doesn't occur to him either, so I live in paranoid dread that I've fucked something up and I really don't want to nag him by asking him if I'm doing the right thing... he has his own troubles and such

If you get me mentally, I'll open up. The actual expressing reaffirmation is harder. It takes patience and practice, for both you and he. But know that you got him and he got you.

 

[miss fortune]

I have no doubt that he's there for me... he's like a rock and I really appreciate that. I probably don't tell him that often enough... I guess that it's just kind of a difference between my tendancy to talk and his tendancy to be quiet... I should just reassure myself that quiet =/= the silent treatment... quiet just is him being himself

 

[Giggly]

If I really think about it, I'm confused by ISTJs as well, or maybe it could be TJ's in general. Sadly, I have never seen an STJ reach the point of being completely open and trusting. I do wonder if it's even possible.

 

[miss fortune]

I've come to conclude that they might get to the point where they TRY to be open and trusting, but it certainly doesn't come naturally to them

 

[Patches]

I've come to conclude that they might get to the point where they TRY to be open and trusting, but it certainly doesn't come naturally to them

^Bingo.

Even if I have the desire to be more open and trusting with someone, I will either not know HOW to approach it... Or get kind of shy about it and not feel able to. Its something I kind of struggle with at times.

 

[Hate]

ISTJs, what comedy movies/comedians would you say best reflects your style of humor?

 

[IZthe411]

ISTJs, what comedy movies/comedians would you say best reflects your style of humor?

Comedians? I love Martin Lawrence, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle. You ever see Daniel Tosh's show? Love it.

Comdey Movies? Off the cuff - Anchorman- Face was hurtin after that movie. Friday. Recently saw Lottery Ticket- that was funny. I'll have to think of more.

Family Guy and Cleveland show always have me rollin.

 

[Patches]

ISTJs, what comedy movies/comedians would you say best reflects your style of humor?

Monty Python movies tend to make me laugh the hardest. Holy Grail, Life of Brian, etc...

I rarely like comedians. I always liked Mitch Hedberg's stand-up, and lately Ive been interested in Joe Rogan's.

Im going to have to agree with IZthe411 about Family Guy, too. Fantastic.

 

[Cimarron]

ISTJs, what comedy movies/comedians would you say best reflects your style of humor?

You mean, if we were to describe the kind of humor we ourselves use when joking around with other people?

 

[Hate]

Hmm, I guess the question could be interpreted like that, but it's not what I meant. Pretty much just how IZ and Patches answered. Although I'm actually curious about both now, could you also describe your style of humor you use when joking around with other people?

 

[IZthe411]

Me- I don't miss too much...so I get the subtle humor. But that's not really 'funny'- I mean, I laugh, but I don't really use that much.
Since that stuff to me is obvious, I like to take a more Ne based approach to things- a la family guy, just blowing things out of proportion, or focusing on an unlikely outcome. I don't like the forced humor either. I like playing on words sometimes, and with my ex we used to make up stories on people that we would see in the street. It was fun.

I guess growing up in a house with 8 varying and sometimes dominant personailties (ISTJ, ENTP, ISTP, ESTP, ENFP, ESFP etc) helped me develop as well.

 

[Habba]

There's not too many comedy films that would make me laugh. Current series of spoof-movies are good example of awful humor that ain't even funny. I used to like Simpsons too, but nowadays the humor just doesn't cut it. Monty Python's the best!

I prefer witty humor, and plays on words. With friends I prefer crazy humor.

 

[Hate]

Comedians? I love Martin Lawrence, Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle. You ever see Daniel Tosh's show? Love it.

Family Guy and Cleveland show always have me rollin.

Okay, so I see we're on the same page here. Those would be some of my top choices also. I've heard of Tosh's show, but I don't get that channel so I never got a chance to see it. I'll probably check it out on the internet now though to see how it is.

Monty Python movies tend to make me laugh the hardest. Holy Grail, Life of Brian, etc...

I rarely like comedians. I always liked Mitch Hedberg's stand-up, and lately Ive been interested in Joe Rogan's.

Im going to have to agree with IZthe411 about Family Guy, too. Fantastic.

I've never actually seen a Monty Python movie before, but now I'm curious to see what kind of humor it is. Joe Rogan kind of grew on me. I didn't really like him at first, but he has some pretty sharp humor. I've actually seen him in person at a comedy club down here in L.A.

So that's two for Family Guy thus far, nice.

There's not too many comedy films that would make me laugh. Current series of spoof-movies are good example of awful humor that ain't even funny. I used to like Simpsons too, but nowadays the humor just doesn't cut it. Monty Python's the best!

I prefer witty humor, and plays on words. With friends I prefer crazy humor.

And now that's two for Monty Python. I gotta check it out now.

*Another question for the ISTJs, Do you like to use a lot of sarcasm in your humor?

 

[Patches]

Okay, so I see we're on the same page here. Those would be some of my top choices also. I've heard of Tosh's show, but I don't get that channel so I never got a chance to see it. I'll probably check it out on the internet now though to see how it is.

I hate Daniel Tosh and I don't find him/his show amusing, tbh.

 

[Hate]

I saw a preview of his show before and he seemed a little annoying, but I never watched it so I'm not sure if my impression was accurate. I'm curious to see it now.

I also wanna see what Monty Python's all about. Which movie would you suggest I check out first?

 

[IZthe411]

I have to check out this Python dude as well. That's not the first time his name has come up in SJ land.

 

[Nicodemus]

I also wanna see what Monty Python's all about. Which movie would you suggest I check out first?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail > Life of Brian > The Meaning of Life.