[ISFJ] ISFJ? What are they saying?

[Giggly]

physical chemistry, and that he is affectionate and makes me feel very good, and is a caring nice person, he gives me pleasure...

and then he drives me nuts...mentally
there is a lack of depth, we try to communicate, and I told him I want him to know me too. But its all about having fun, and doing things, and checking my status, and making plans, and talking about his interests. He doesn't really seem to wan't to know me.
He wanted to share all his movies and music with me on our first date or two, but then, it continued, to more about him, and his stuff. And he just asked so what do you want to do... Not very deep... Also he said that communication is very important to him, yet he and his ex never communicated they just did stuff and had fun, they didn't talk about things beyond the surface level, and he said with me, its "real and scary" I think he is trying... but ultimately it will be a waste of time and energy to invest on my part... but he keeps calling me, and I have already gone back to see him.
Also its hard for me to be just friends, I cant do that, and be intimate physically at the same time...
TMI
does he sound like an ISFP??? or is it irrelevant at this point?

It's always irrelevant but whatever he is it sounds like you're not happy so you should let him go. You'll find someone else that you're attracted to.

 

[hermeticdancer]

He lied to me so I ended it. He wouldn't talk to me face to face...
only texting and email. Then after some time. I met with him. And he said he wanted to just be friends and that we had nothing in common. Then three days later he called me saying he realized some things and wanted to get back with me...
That he want's me in his life no matter what and want's my companionship...?
My guess is that it didn't work out with the other girl he was seeing so now he is available... I think he is still looking for other girls though...

Is this normal ISFJ behavior, to lie, then try to be with multiple women. And have them on the side for comfort...?

(edit) that's not really a fair question... sorry ISFJ's

 

[NewEra]

Why did you post this topic in the NT forum? Really... Seriously?

 

[miss fortune]

Why did you post this topic in the NT forum? Really... Seriously?

... I love STs!

yeah, I would have answered helpfully, but insulting one of my favorite members straight off was NOT a good move... that and not answering a simple question about the sensibility of thread placement

 

[kiddykat]

I think anyone is capable of cheating and lying. It depends on a person's values?

I know an ISFJ male who considered himself to be loyal, committed, and gentlemanly, when his GF wasn't around, it wasn't quite the case, and his reputation was to hop from one woman to another by getting to know the female's acquaintence, befriending them, and then dumping the current GF.

I know him personally. He took the test a few times and scored ISFJ. I think that part doesn't really matter though. If someone wants to lie, hurt, or cheat, I tend to think that it's indicative of learned values/behaviors, and/or an incompatible relationship that brings out the worst in people.

If I were in this predicament, I would definitely say good-bye in my own way by not responding. I dislike relationship endings, but I think in the long-run, I'd be much happier if I were true to myself.

 

[hermeticdancer]

kiddykat! so right...

not responding is the best way to do it.

good advice overall!

 

[JTG1984]

Why did you post this topic in the NT forum? Really... Seriously?

Don't be rude, she made mistake get over it.

 

[GirlFromMars]

Why did you post this topic in the NT forum? Really... Seriously?

lol...




He's just a douche, no matter what his type is.

/thread.

 

[illume]

Being stiff as a board is better for your posture.

Yes... That and one other much more important "item" that comes to mind!!

 

[briochick]

I find ISFJs lovely and huggable if a bit frustrating and rigid at times. they're loyal and dependable and empathize and I can *trust* them. They're like less N-y INFJs (which are also a lovely and trustworthy breed in my experience)

 

[tinker683]

I find ISFJs lovely and huggable if a bit frustrating and rigid at times. they're loyal and dependable and empathize and I can *trust* them. They're like less N-y INFJs (which are also a lovely and trustworthy breed in my experience)

 

[GirlFromMars]

In my experience with ISFJ's (I know a few, including my man...probably known more that I'm not aware/sure of) I love them! They're loving, sensitive, helpful, polite, etc. Sure, they have their flaws, just like every other human that ever exsisted. And yes, we work a bit differently in some areas. But in general, they're lovely. I don't really find them hard to work out at all. If anything, they're pretty simple creatures I think. (And I mean that in a good way.) For the most part I get along very well with them, and eventhough we funtion differently, I find we're pretty similar somehow. There's always going to be differences between people, no matter what the types are. If someone is boring/frustrating/ whatever-ing-you, they ain't good for you.


(And they're the best huggers too. )

 

[highlander]

The person you descibe does not sound like an ISFJ.

 

[hermeticdancer]

I agree, I think he may have lied...
about that too...
he is phony, what ever type that is... that lies to get what they want.
He used to be a paramedic, and his job is to navigate depth levels in a submarine...

He always would ask me, so what new and exciting happened today? Anything exciting happen today? What happened yesterday, what did you do? That's all he asks...He is capable of small talk, when it gets deep, he starts going into fact mode, and throwing out irrelevant summaries of how I feel, almost in a militaristic fashion. He says its cause how he was conditioned by the military.
And that is why he tests ISTJ. I told him from the beginning that I could not date an ISTJ, and so maybe that is why he lied... my ex was ISTJ, and the experience was painful.

I was heartbroken...
He also likes paranormal stuff, like ghost hunters...the starwars kid, you tube stuff, the dancing baby and he is nearing mid 30's!

Right now I actually have a lot more respect for my EX, who was an ISTJ, our primary reason for breaking up was that, we were not compatible. But at least he was more serious.

This guy is goofy, immature, and is silly.
He is like fruit salad. That is why I kept eating more. You never really get full...
Some people are like that...

Thanks for listening, everyone, I am sure you are all thinking, WTF, he cheated and lied, she must be crazy to have seen this guy again, despite his type, dump him, and deal with it.

I think it is important that people should not settle, and waste time on relationships that are uncomfortable. Including me!

Part of me wants to punish him! Ultimate Fighter!!!!!
-can people relate...

 

[IZthe411]

I agree, I think he may have lied...
about that too...
he is phony, what ever type that is... that lies to get what they want.
He used to be a paramedic, and his job is to navigate depth levels in a submarine...

He always would ask me, so what new and exciting happened today? Anything exciting happen today? What happened yesterday, what did you do? That's all he asks...He is capable of small talk, when it gets deep, he starts going into fact mode, and throwing out irrelevant summaries of how I feel, almost in a militaristic fashion. He says its cause how he was conditioned by the military.
And that is why he tests ISTJ. I told him from the beginning that I could not date an ISTJ, and so maybe that is why he lied... my ex was ISTJ, and the experience was painful.

I was heartbroken...
He also likes paranormal stuff, like ghost hunters...the starwars kid, you tube stuff, the dancing baby and he is nearing mid 30's!

Right now I actually have a lot more respect for my EX, who was an ISTJ, our primary reason for breaking up was that, we were not compatible. But at least he was more serious.

This guy is goofy, immature, and is silly.
He is like fruit salad. That is why I kept eating more. You never really get full...
Some people are like that...

Thanks for listening, everyone, I am sure you are all thinking, WTF, he cheated and lied, she must be crazy to have seen this guy again, despite his type, dump him, and deal with it.

I think it is important that people should not settle, and waste time on relationships that are uncomfortable. Including me!

Part of me wants to punish him! Ultimate Fighter!!!!!
-can people relate...

He's a bum, whatever his MBTI.

 

[highlander]

physical chemistry, and that he is affectionate and makes me feel very good, and is a caring nice person, he gives me pleasure...

and then he drives me nuts...mentally
there is a lack of depth, we try to communicate, and I told him I want him to know me too. But its all about having fun, and doing things, and checking my status, and making plans, and talking about his interests. He doesn't really seem to wan't to know me.
He wanted to share all his movies and music with me on our first date or two, but then, it continued, to more about him, and his stuff. And he just asked so what do you want to do... Not very deep... Also he said that communication is very important to him, yet he and his ex never communicated they just did stuff and had fun, they didn't talk about things beyond the surface level, and he said with me, its "real and scary" I think he is trying... but ultimately it will be a waste of time and energy to invest on my part... but he keeps calling me, and I have already gone back to see him.
Also its hard for me to be just friends, I cant do that, and be intimate physically at the same time...
TMI
does he sound like an ISFP??? or is it irrelevant at this point?

I'm not near as good at this as many on this site, but sounds like an SP to me. It probably is irrelevant.

 

[Lily Bart]

I have a friend who has tested as ISFJ and I find her to be incredibly superficial and egotistical (in a serious sort of way -- if that makes sense) so I definitely think it's possible that your (now-ex-) boyfriend was ISFJ. I think that's why I visit the SJ forum a lot, because sometimes I can't believe how much she annoys me and I'd like to be better clued in as to why. I have two other ISFJ friends, one male and one female, and although they're quite different in many ways, they really do stay true to the ISFJ stereotype in the long run -- but this other friend is in a class by herself, and a very strange class it is, too. Since their histories are all quite different, I guess that just goes to prove that type isn't everything. Naomi Quenk's work on the Shadow Self claims that you can revert to your opposite set of functions (but in a very poorly developed manner) when you're under incredible amount of stress -- in your boyfriend's case, that would be a poorly developed ENTP -- does that sound familiar?