[SJ] SJ and the need for excessive control

[Saslou]

You have a Pness? And here I thought you had woman parts.

I am all woman darling .. I am just a little awkward

Seriously though .. I think the controlling aspect of my personality has calmed down as i matured emotionally/mentally etc. I would like to think that as you grow your J/P balances out so you become less rigid and stop sweating the little things.

SJ's .. Come on people, leave the house a mess, throw away your diary, turn up late when meeting your friends, leave your mobile at home so noone can get in touch with you .. And lets enjoy life .. Drinks are on me

 

[alexx]

SJ's .. Come on people, leave the house a mess, throw away your diary, turn up late when meeting your friends, leave your mobile at home so noone can get in touch with you .. And lets enjoy life .. Drinks are on me

You want to give them a panic attack don't you? Just the THOUGHT of that might send them over the edge lol!

 

[d@v3]

I am all woman darling .. I am just a little awkward

Seriously though .. I think the controlling aspect of my personality has calmed down as i matured emotionally/mentally etc. I would like to think that as you grow your J/P balances out so you become less rigid and stop sweating the little things.

SJ's .. Come on people, leave the house a mess, throw away your diary, turn up late when meeting your friends, leave your mobile at home so noone can get in touch with you .. And lets enjoy life .. Drinks are on me

You want to give them a panic attack don't you? Just the THOUGHT of that might send them over the edge lol!

:horor: i can't believe you would say such a thing Sas! I'm about as surprised as this was was when he first found out about humans!

 

[chatoyer]

I don't like to control people, but I like to control things that go on.

For instance, my girlfriend can do whatever she wants, but I like to plan things so I don't overlap important activities.

How does that work, control things/situations but not people? Don't they usually overlap?

I'm just curious, both brothers in my family are married to strong SJ women, and it always seems like the SJs "win". Both guys are SPs, so they're pretty laid-back....but it seems like the SJ "plan" can just steamroll over everyone else who might like to see what happens, and be open to hanging out with no concrete plan.

 

[d@v3]

It usually works because people never get bored when they go with the SJ's plan. Well, they might, but at least they are not "hanging out". Can you define that term? I mean, I certainly don't mind going somewhere to "hang out" but I would rather plan first to go to a restaurant or something.... it would drive me nuts sitting on a couch with a bunch of people not having anything to do!

 

[chatoyer]

It usually works because people never get bored when they go with the SJ's plan. Well, they might, but at least they are not "hanging out". Can you define that term? I mean, I certainly don't mind going somewhere to "hang out" but I would rather plan first to go to a restaurant or something.... it would drive me nuts sitting on a couch with a bunch of people not having anything to do!

For me, the best thing with family or friends is having a great conversation and "making connections"/feeling close (sorry, stereotypical NF), if I'm at the mercy of an SJ checklist plan for the day, it can be so much running around, "getting things done", that those connections don't naturally happen.

I'm not against events at all, I adore new experiences (and many times those events can provide a catalyst for conversation), but sometimes the best conversations and memories are made when there isn't any plan, there is just an everyday moment, time spent without hurrying to get somewhere, when people really open up to each other, and have a great conversation or a funny exchange that will mean more to me than "how much we got done" during that day.

SJ schedules can feel like a productivity chart even when on vacation!!!

 

[Saslou]

You want to give them a panic attack don't you? Just the THOUGHT of that might send them over the edge lol!

Shhhh, don't let the secret out

:horor: i can't believe you would say such a thing Sas! I'm about as surprised as this was was when he first found out about humans!

I have spent this week at work as a disorganised mess. I have had to resort to 'Looking busy'. Can you imagine just how insane i am going over it??
I have no routine, stability so i am just muddling through .. Flip the coin, i have been so laid back this week, not stressing and just genuinely taking it easy until i get home then i am having a shit fest about it. I am going against the grain and in ways it is a different experience but it is not something i could do full time.

I'm not against events at all, I adore new experiences (and many times those events can provide a catalyst for conversation), but sometimes the best conversations and memories are made when there isn't any plan, there is just an everyday moment, time spent without hurrying to get somewhere, when people really open up to each other, and have a great conversation or a funny exchange that will mean more to me than "how much we got done" during that day.

SJ schedules can feel like a productivity chart even when on vacation!!!

I am the same with the bolded. I have had some amazing conversations with complete strangers that were never planned obviously, lol. Last night i went to see my parents, i had to plan it though as i don't want to be rude and just show up on their doorstep, they may of had guests or possibly of been going out themselves. Planning is good sometimes. I also love being spontaneous though

When on vacation .. You should never plan anything, just go with the flow or hit the beach and be a lazy bugger all day whilst slowly turning in to a lobster *Sigh* Happy days. I need a vacation, lol.

 

[Snow Turtle]

How does that work, control things/situations but not people? Don't they usually overlap?

I'm just curious, both brothers in my family are married to strong SJ women, and it always seems like the SJs "win". Both guys are SPs, so they're pretty laid-back....but it seems like the SJ "plan" can just steamroll over everyone else who might like to see what happens, and be open to hanging out with no concrete plan.

Hmm...

The other person has the free will and choice to follow my plans or not meaning I can't demand them to follow. Essentially, it just means that I'd just go solo and concentrate on my own stuff.

Don't think you can really do that in situations involving other people though. Usually then I'm more go with the flow, and suggest ideas if nobody is coming up with anything (controlling the situation).

 

[Sam Spade]

I wonder if many ISTJ's could tolerate being in a relationship with another ISTJ, or ESTJ for that matter.

Off to look that one up!

I'm in one and it's honestly very liberating. She helps me explore the E side of life and I do vice versa for her. Then again, our respective Js are somewhat low so I have no idea if we are oddballs.