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[SJ] SJ's and cheating

G

GirlAmerica

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Would you/have you? Under what circumstances? What do you actually consider cheating?
 

CzeCze

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Umm...I don't know if you posted this question to all the quadrant threads at the same time, but considering how few answers the SJs have posted thus far -- I think the answer is NO.

Really, I get the impression that a healthy SJ is probably the least likely of all quads to cheat, it goes completely against their value system and tradition.

But perhaps this is a stereotype.

I hope more SJ's throw in their two cents. :)
 

Totenkindly

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Umm...I don't know if you posted this question to all the quadrant threads at the same time, but considering how few answers the SJs have posted thus far -- I think the answer is NO.

Really, I get the impression that a healthy SJ is probably the least likely of all quads to cheat, it goes completely against their value system and tradition.

But perhaps this is a stereotype.

I agree that theoretically SJ is probably least likely overall, due to identifying themselves with a tangible list of rules and expectations.

Theoretically, I also would guess that SJ is most likely to do so (when they do) either as an overt act of rebellion against the standard (rather than for more pragmatic reasons) or (slightly different) because they feel they have an image of intelligence to conform to that they cannot actually meet... and rather than admitting it, they try to adhere to expectations.

IOW, they are rebelling against the standard (in order to set a new one into place, hopefully, that they think is better or more fair) or else because they are prioritizing conformance to the idealized image pushed on them by their parents and other significant others over conforming to the general social expectations.

This is all theory, though. SJ experience (if we can get it) is really needed here.
 

Recoleta

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Yeah, CzeCze and Jennifer pretty much covered it. I wouldn't cheat on anyone, ever. I see cheating as a complete lack of respect for the other person, and since I generally have a great amount of respect for the people I choose to date I would never cheat on them. If I fall "out of love" with the other partner or decide I want to date someone else I would end the relationship before pursuing anything with the other person.

Even in the situation of using cheating as a form of rebellion or retaliation for something (like Jennifer mentioned above) I still wouldn't cheat because I feel that's a childish way to handle something, and in the long run it's not gonna resolve anything or make me feel better.
 

swordpath

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SJs traditionally are known for being very loyal to those close to them and those close to them usually being a only a handful of people.

I don't think SJs are big cheaters relationally, generally speaking. We are human though. I haven't cheated and I would like to say I would never consider it.
 

boogawooga999

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No. I would have to be severely impaired to do so. (ie: extremely fine girl + extremely drunk)
 

gretch

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My best friend in the whole world is an ISTJ. She says that once she's in, she's committed until it is officially off. She said not in a million years would she ever cheat.
 

lecky

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I have never cheated in any of my past relationships and never will.

The closest I came to cheating was with a coworker who was engaged to another women. We became pretty close overtime and feelings started to develop. We ended up kissing one evening...I felt horrible and was disgusted with myself because I had always despised cheaters. I cut off communication with him after that and will never get myself in that type of situation again.

The guilt trumped any feelings I had for him...

And when in a relationship, I fall pretty hard, I am extremely loyal and the thought of being with someone else makes me sick.
 

alicia91

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I have never cheated in any of my relationships either. HOWEVER, I've been tempted. While I was young and single, if I was very much attracted to someone else, I'd just break it off with the current one and move on to the new guy. But I couldn't ever see being in more than one relationship.

Now that I'm married, I admit I've fantasized about it but I'll never act on it. What I've got means to much to me and I'd never risk it, even for just a fling.
 

Anja

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This idea of what cheating is is an interesting one to me. Some think it would only be the actual sexual act itself, others think if one is in love with someone other than one's partner that would be cheating, others will think that fantasizing is a form of cheating. Flirting?

I suppose it would be fair to believe that each couple, if in love, could have this conversation. But as a woman who has been in love with an ISTJ man for a long time, I don't remember that we've ever gotten as far into this conversation as would be satisfying to me!

It doesn't occur to me that he would cheat and with good feelers for stuff like that I think I'd pick up on it pretty fast as I don't see him as particularly adept at deception.

For myself, if simply loving other people made me guilty of cheating, I'd be in trouble!
 

Bella

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This idea of what cheating is is an interesting one to me. Some think it would only be the actual sexual act itself, others think if one is in love with someone other than one's partner that would be cheating, others will think that fantasizing is a form of cheating. Flirting?

I suppose it would be fair to believe that each couple, if in love, could have this conversation. But as a woman who has been in love with an ISTJ man for a long time, I don't remember that we've ever gotten as far into this conversation as would be satisfying to me!

It doesn't occur to me that he would cheat and with good feelers for stuff like that I think I'd pick up on it pretty fast as I don't see him as particularly adept at deception.

For myself, if simply loving other people made me guilty of cheating, I'd be in trouble!

For real? Do you love a few men at a time?
 

Anja

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I fall in love with people, animals, places with some regularity, yes. And I remain in love with them, not to sound fickle.

I have three friends, two female and one male, whom I have loved and had good friendships with since we were all in kindergarten. It's taken my husband a long time to understand that "loving others" doesn't mean infidelity.

My lifetime male friend, also an ISTJ, beats a swift path to the door if I say I love him so I've learned not to use that loaded word in his presence, but I know that he loves me also and has always been faithfully at my back.
 
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Anja

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Dang. I think I've got a thing for ISTJs!
 

Bella

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How very Bohemian, that poor ISTJ man must have near heart attacks every second day. Heehee.
 
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