[ISFJ] Are ISFJs mindreaders??

[Shadow]

This isn't as weird a question as it probably sounds.
I'm very down-to-earth and by no means a hippy with interests in the spiritual realm or whatever (although it can be intriguing), but I'm just intrigued at how my ISFJ boyfriend can seem to, literally, read my mind.

I've noticed it for a while, but just deemed it weird coincidence. Like, I'd think to myself that I really wanted him to call me, and then he'd call. [he just called me at this very moment!!! Point proven.]

Once, his mum accidentally called me and then he called his mum during the conversation. I asked him later why he'd called then and he said he doesn't know, he just felt something weird was happening.

But anyway, what really freaked me out was yesterday I was listening to an obscure song I like (by Diary of Dreams, for reference). He's never heard this song before, I'm sure of it. And yet, when I was listening to it with my headphones on in the room next to one he was in, he started whistling along to it, at exactly the same point in the track that I was listening to. There was no way he could have heard it - I don't play things so loudly on my headphones that anyone else can hear. He did a similar thing this morning with a song that was playing in my head. Really weird.

He also mentions things that have been occupying my mind a lot earlier that day or in the week, completely random things that he would never know I'd been thinking about. My ISFP best friend at school, and my ISFP mum, used to do that actually.

I wonder if SFs are really tuned in to people's thoughts in some subconscious way.

Anyone think there may be a grain of truth in this? Or am I reading too much into it all?

 

[Soar337]

I thought that was an N thing, I have no idea though, sorry

 

[Grungemouse]

ISFJs are naturally in-tune with other peoples body language. The majority of what you "say" or "think" is expressed through your body, whether you're aware of it or not. Bearing this in mind, if you have the ability to read someone's body you can, essentially, read what is going on in their mind. Well, not exactly what is going on in there, but things like the emotions behind them.

How long have you been together? I went out with an ISFJ for 18 months and were friends four years prior to the relationship. We were basically so in-synch with one another, in terms of body language, habits, etc, that our life seemed to just fit. What seemed like "mind reading" was just being synchronized.

 

[KLessard]

Had an experience with this ISFJ, that she could read my feelings through the phone. I was quiet because I was confused and she exclaimed: "You sound so disappointed! I feel so bad..." I hadn't said anything. She read my silence or something. I'm an INFJ and I often put the lid on it (I have been misunderstood as independant and aloof many times), but she has a way of reading me very accurately if she hears my voice or sees my body language.

 

[Winds of Thor]

No one, nor any type, has ever come close to reading my mind, when speaking to me in an attempt to validate this.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

yeah, this sounds like me. For some bizarre reason i know whats going on with people. I even seem to like predict whats going happen that day or within a certain time length. its really weird.

 

[Lambchop]

yeah, this sounds like me. For some bizarre reason i know whats going on with people. I even seem to like predict whats going happen that day or within a certain time length. its really weird.

Are you ISFJ or ISFP? I'm confused!

I would say that it probably has something to do with the following ISFJ traits either separately or individually:

* We pay attention to detail and have a good memory.

* We sense things. Not in the same way that N's do, but the outcome can be the same. Maybe it has to do with body language or us using one or more of our 5 senses and then pairing that with our memory of detail.

* We are extremely internally aware. Because we are so internally aware, we can also be extremely aware of other people and how they think, feel, act, etc.

* Much of the time, we are thinking about other people.

My husband would tell you that sometimes I can read his mind. I think it has to do with

- my memory of his facial expressions when he's thinking or feeling certain things

- my memory and awareness of how certain things make him feel or act or have made him feel or act in the past

- my attention to the detail of what he says and my memory of it

- how I would feel or act in the same situation

I have no idea if what I just said makes any sense. It all happens without me thinking about it. It's automatic. I just tried to put it on slow motion and describe it!

 

[Gerbah]

It can also be that you two have become close enough to have a connection beyond the superficially material level (not something specifically to do with type). Stuff like that often happens to me with people I know but I'm neither N nor F dominant.

 

[bcvcdc]

My experience is that the World of ENTP's can read my mind.

And I absolutely hate it.

 

[Athenian200]

Supposedly, INFJs are the mindreaders.

If ISFJs prove to be good at predictions like this as well, though, then perhaps mistypes are more common than previously thought.

 

[Xenon]

My ISFJ mother is quite good a predicting my behaviour; what I'll do or say in a certain situation. She's not so great at understanding my inner thoughts or motivations.

She's particularly prone to attributing my bad moods to something she did or didn't do, when I'm upset about something completely unrelated.

 

[PoprocksAndCoke]

I have an ISFJ best friend and we read each other's minds. Only most of the time she's wrong and I'm right, because she goes by body language and my body language is often unintentionally misleading. I go by facial expressions, conversations and decisions.

I think reading by body language is an S thing - ISFJs rely on that like ENFJs rely on instinct and intuition.

The accuracy of each depends on different people.

 

[PoprocksAndCoke]

My ISFJ mother is quite good a predicting my behaviour; what I'll do or say in a certain situation. She's not so great at understanding my inner thoughts or motivations.

She's particularly prone to attributing my bad moods to something she did or didn't do, when I'm upset about something completely unrelated.

Lucky you. My mom attributes bad moods to something I did, which they usually are, but a lot of the time she'll guess unrealistically - something like attributing it to going to a party three weeks earlier or only getting a 90% on a test.

 

[Totenkindly]

Anyone think there may be a grain of truth in this? Or am I reading too much into it all?

That.

S(F)Js are notoriously bad at N earlier in life, they don't trust it, and having to trust it usually freaks them out.

I think the sixth sense stuff you're describing is anecdotal stuff that people of all types think they have experienced.

I will say the closest thing about SFJ that seems to be uncanny is simply that they tend to be VERY tuned into their experiences with people, what they have expressed they like and do not like, etc. ISFJs will remember these details and keep track of them and remember them years later sometimes... which can seem uncanny if the person hasn't changed and annoying if they have but the SFJ has not kept up to speed.

They're also good at knowing the social expectations so if your feelings and expectations align with the standard, they can seem to give you exactly what you need... but it's not ESP, it's just them playing by the rules they perceive in society. If you don't align with those rules in terms of your needs, they can be really off.

 

[Saslou]

^^^ I do agree with some of what you are saying .. I don't usually question why i know what i do .. I just appreciate that i can do it in the first place.

I am great at reading people .. I am always paying attention to body language, tone of voice etc
I hear what people say and also what they don't .. It is just a feeling, like i know they want to say something but don't for whatever reason, it comes out eventually.
It is like there are receptor inside me that just pick up this stuff ..
I have done the phone call thing many times ..

I think it is a pretty interesting skill to have so i am not complaining

 

[Tewt]

IME, they are great at identifying others emotions and moods, even when they are only very subtle clues.

However, it becomes a problem when they think they are a mindreader and they know why someone is feeling a certain way without clarifying or asking for more information.

 

[Saslou]

However, it becomes a problem when they think they are a mindreader and they know why someone is feeling a certain way without clarifying or asking for more information.

+1 .. Some things can not be taken at face value .. When the time is right, it all comes out.

 

[Shadow]

ISFJs are naturally in-tune with other peoples body language. The majority of what you "say" or "think" is expressed through your body, whether you're aware of it or not. Bearing this in mind, if you have the ability to read someone's body you can, essentially, read what is going on in their mind. Well, not exactly what is going on in there, but things like the emotions behind them.

How long have you been together? I went out with an ISFJ for 18 months and were friends four years prior to the relationship. We were basically so in-synch with one another, in terms of body language, habits, etc, that our life seemed to just fit. What seemed like "mind reading" was just being synchronized.

We've been together for three years and a lot of that has been time shared between us, whether we've physically been with each other or via phone conversations - we speak on the phone daily, without fail, often several times, unless we're with each other.
I suppose it could well just be that we're 'merging' (for want of a better word) into one in terms of our habits and thoughts. I'm sure that does supposedly happen in long-term relationships, I read something about it in the New Scientist years back. Probably starting at a similar point (ISFJ/ISTJ) has made us even more alike - although I wouldn't say we were all that similar. Perhaps it's more the thought patterns that synchronise than the actual thoughts.

Are you ISFJ or ISFP? I'm confused!

I would say that it probably has something to do with the following ISFJ traits either separately or individually:

* We pay attention to detail and have a good memory.

* We sense things. Not in the same way that N's do, but the outcome can be the same. Maybe it has to do with body language or us using one or more of our 5 senses and then pairing that with our memory of detail.

* We are extremely internally aware. Because we are so internally aware, we can also be extremely aware of other people and how they think, feel, act, etc.

* Much of the time, we are thinking about other people.

My husband would tell you that sometimes I can read his mind. I think it has to do with

- my memory of his facial expressions when he's thinking or feeling certain things

- my memory and awareness of how certain things make him feel or act or have made him feel or act in the past

- my attention to the detail of what he says and my memory of it

- how I would feel or act in the same situation

I have no idea if what I just said makes any sense. It all happens without me thinking about it. It's automatic. I just tried to put it on slow motion and describe it!

Perhaps it's just that feelers are very aware of themselves and their emotions, so they can read these in others better than thinkers can. As a hardcore thinker, this is probably just a novel concept to me, when it's actually totally natural to all feelers of all types.

It can also be that you two have become close enough to have a connection beyond the superficially material level (not something specifically to do with type). Stuff like that often happens to me with people I know but I'm neither N nor F dominant.

That would be nice And it's true. We're very comfortable with each other, and no one else has ever known me as well as he does!

Supposedly, INFJs are the mindreaders.

If ISFJs prove to be good at predictions like this as well, though, then perhaps mistypes are more common than previously thought.

My ISFJ mother is quite good a predicting my behaviour; what I'll do or say in a certain situation. She's not so great at understanding my inner thoughts or motivations.

She's particularly prone to attributing my bad moods to something she did or didn't do, when I'm upset about something completely unrelated.

Perhaps this shows an N/S divide? Maybe I find this to be more of an S thing because they 'get' me more than Ns, and it could be vice versa with INFJs and Ns. It makes sense that if you approach things in a similar way to start with, it's easier to make the connections between body language/words/expressions and thoughts.
I've never found this with INFJs personally.

That.

S(F)Js are notoriously bad at N earlier in life, they don't trust it, and having to trust it usually freaks them out.

I think the sixth sense stuff you're describing is anecdotal stuff that people of all types think they have experienced.

I will say the closest thing about SFJ that seems to be uncanny is simply that they tend to be VERY tuned into their experiences with people, what they have expressed they like and do not like, etc. ISFJs will remember these details and keep track of them and remember them years later sometimes... which can seem uncanny if the person hasn't changed and annoying if they have but the SFJ has not kept up to speed.

They're also good at knowing the social expectations so if your feelings and expectations align with the standard, they can seem to give you exactly what you need... but it's not ESP, it's just them playing by the rules they perceive in society. If you don't align with those rules in terms of your needs, they can be really off.

Maybe I'm just too predictable with my ISTJ ways... Maybe we're very routine as a couple. Wouldn't surprise me.

^^^ I do agree with some of what you are saying .. I don't usually question why i know what i do .. I just appreciate that i can do it in the first place.

I am great at reading people .. I am always paying attention to body language, tone of voice etc
I hear what people say and also what they don't .. It is just a feeling, like i know they want to say something but don't for whatever reason, it comes out eventually.
It is like there are receptor inside me that just pick up this stuff ..
I have done the phone call thing many times ..

I think it is a pretty interesting skill to have so i am not complaining

Yeah, the phone thing - and the music thing - is weird. You can't tell that from body language!

 

[Giggly]

Hi Shadow, welcome back. :hi: So good to see you.

Methinks you and your ISFJ are just made for each other.

 

[teslashock]

I have a very good ISFJ friend, and she is just very in-tune with her external environment. She picks up on little details in everything: the people around her, objects in the room, conversations going on, etc. After picking up these details, she puts them into her Si memory bank, and she uses these details as predictive and descriptive devices for future situations. For example, I make a certain facial expression when my SO upsets me, my ISFJ friend stores the fine details of that face into her memory, and from there on out, whenever she sees that kind of facial expression on me again, she knows that my SO must have done something to upset me. The better she gets to know somebody, and the more mannerisms/facial expressions she observes and stores, the more capable she is of knowing what to expect from them based on their body language. Thus, I wouldn't say that she is "reading minds"; she is simply just very skilled in noticing fine discrepancies between different things in her external world, and she has the kind of Si-related recall/correlation to use her awareness as a predictive device. It's really quite impressive, imho.