[SJ] Primary Function, General Life Difficulties, and SJs.

[FallaciaSonata]

Title was a bit long. I have a few thoughts here relating to Primary (possibly secondary) Function usage and generalized difficulties you experience in life on a day-to-day basis. (From as long ago as you can recall to right now.)

I'm well aware of what stresses me. As a result, I've been watching other people to see what causes them stress. Everyone is different, as we all know, but some things are just odd. Things that would drive me nuts some people are oblivious to. (Like when a TV's color settings are slightly messed up, or when a sign is crooked, etc, etc.)

Because of these differences in the causation of stress, I tend to believe that people have more or less empathy for certain individuals. Or in some cases, more or less patience for certain individuals.

I will use myself as an example here. In this case, I'm referring mostly to Si. From the time I was little until now, and I imagine for most of my life, one of the common difficulties I have is hesitation when doing new things. I need time to practice whatever the activity is, or "get used to it".

I'll get more specific. In the case of playing something on the piano. You see, I play the piano and the organ (usually the organ) at church, and generally, I play what I'm taught from the music minister. His teaching style isn't exactly my preferred style, but that's not the point of this particular discussion.

I generally understand what he wants me to play, but he's very....talented....at pulling a new song out of thin air ten minutes before choir practice or service. He, of course, expects me to be able to pick it up immediately and wow everybody.

Not patting myself on the back here, but I usually can pick it up immediately. Now here's the catch.....it never sounds good the first few times. (This is an obvious statement --- everything improves with practice.) While I'm unhappy with it, he still insists that we do it that day. While it sounds "great" to everyone else, it merely sounds "sufficient" to me. If I was more familiar with the piece beforehand, or had sufficient time to practice, it wouldn't be an issue for me. This causes a mild amount of stress for me.



Another example. When I was learning to drive, and even now, I'm hesitant when going somewhere new. I almost go into a minor form of panic --- studying local maps like a madman, making sure I have enough fuel, re-checking the directions, then printing them, asking Dad the quickest way to get there, or the most efficient, and so on.

Is this my Si attempting to see what I have not yet seen, and therefore causing an issue? Because a simple trip to somewhere I haven't been can become a minor case of stress for this little camper.

I was mostly targeting SJs for this particular thread, but anyone can jump in that has something to contribute. I would like to know your opinions on the matter.

To summarize above statements:

Throughout the course of your life, does your Primary Function (and possibly secondary) affect the things that cause you stress?

If so, in what way? What types of things cause you stress, and to what degree?

In relation to the earlier statement on empathy and patience, have you noticed certain people having more or less of either?

If they have more empathy, do they "know what you're going through", because they use the same function that you do?

Do people intolerant of your issue use a completely different function?


Looking forward to your input.

 

[Ozz]

I believe you are asking about the weakness of a personality type and how it may or may not be related to the cognitive functions.

I share many of the same weakness that you described. For example, I often imagine that a certain position or task is incredibly difficult. However, after learning about the task in detail, I then have the realization that it is nothing. I think that's due to Si and how it needs data to work properly.

As for my Secondary function Te. It gets into the way when interacting with other people. I often focus a lot more on the topic than the person itself. When someone looks for sympathy, I give out solutions.

Now to answer the question about empathy: I met an ISFJ and I somewhat understand what the person is going through. I understand what process the person's head is going through and why the person is stuck in that type of thoughts, however, the reason for being stuck makes very little sense to me. I believe that's the shared Si but different secondary function at work.

 

[Gerbah]

> > Throughout the course of your life, does your Primary Function (and possibly secondary) affect the things that cause you stress? < <
If this is about a type's weakness then yes. Any strength will involve a weakness so while my Si comes in very handy in certain situations, in other situations it causes me to experience a lot of stress. The same situation would probably not be so stressful to another type. My Si makes me very sensitive to what is going on in my body and I'm very in tune with the signals I get from it. For example, I eat mostly organic food and I'm very sensitive when I'm eating to feeling if there are bad elements in it and what kind of food I'm more in need of at the moment. The same strength makes me very weak when it comes to physical pain. I'm really sensitive to physical pain, while my ENTP husband can knock himself here and there without it bothering him very much and he can tolerate endurance sports that involve pain like running for a long time.

> > If they have more empathy, do they "know what you're going through", because they use the same function that you do? < <
In my experience, not necessarily. One of my in-laws is an ISFJ but although she has Si too she is generally seen by the family as not being someone who pays attention to or notices how other people are feeling. Why this is I don't know, but I read in some other thread about ISFJs that they tend to be sympathetic but not empathetic. Even though I am also Si we have very little in common and she doesn't show more empathy towards me than to other people in general.

 

[FallaciaSonata]

Interesting.

I also give out solutions when people look for sympathy. (Not necessarily on purpose, but it's my natural reaction and one of the only ways I know how to deal with that sort of thing.)

You mentioned your ENTP husband playing contact sports..... Do you think there is a correlation between Si dominance and those types of things? One of the reasons (many reasons) I avoided contact sports as a kid and even now, is pain. To me, the game was not worth winning, playing, or even thinking about if it involved getting hurt. I could get the same level of fun and competition (even though I am generally competitive with myself, not others) by playing Chess, a "sport" that doesn't involve getting tackled.

I thought there might be a connection between similar (or same) function usage and empathy, in the sense that.... when I see someone being put on the spot, I "feel for them", in the sense that I know what it's like to have that done to me, and I know I would react in a similar manner. That line of thought leads me to believe that they have the same kind of problem. Of course, the problem could be simply Introversion, or it could be Judging, or any combination of things.

Just a thought.

 

[Gerbah]

When I said my ENTP husband knocks himself I didn't mean he plays contact sports. He's just clumsy sometimes He finds it funny that I have to express my pain when I knock my elbow or something like that because he doesn't have the need to if the same thing happens to him. Incidentally, I'm careful and not clumsy because I hate hurting myself.

Yes, I think there is a correlation with Si dominance. I read once somewhere that Si puts you very much in touch with physical pain and that athletes who do endurance sports are usually not dominant Si but that ENTPs have inferior Si so they don't feel the pain so much when doing an endurance sport.

I can totally relate to not playing contact sports. I do like doing lapunti though, which is a martial art but involves sticks. So the other person doesn't have to actually hit me as long as I'm defending myself properly and I train with other women only and it's not as aggressive as classes where you train with men. I mainly like the footwork and manipulating the sticks and the flow of the split second physical reactions to the other person.

I don't do the typical T thing though of giving a solution when the other person just wants to be listened to. I grew up with a close friend who is a strong F and very empathetic and I picked up some of her F skills at an early age.