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[MBTI General] ENFP and ISTJ

angelsinging

New member
Joined
Sep 26, 2009
Messages
11
MBTI Type
INFP
My best mate is ENFP and I can't believe she found an ISTJ boyfriend! They've only known each other for 1 year and they are going to get married soon. They are totally opposite side and I dont like that guy. He is boring but very responsibly.

Although i am happy but i am also worried about her. I heard ENFP and ISTJ are conflict side. Most of their argument are because the ISTJ are being very controlled.

Anyone know any stories about ENFP and ISTJ? Will they be happy after married?
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
I wasn't trying to be unfair, I hadn't read that other one.

It's really hard to know for sure about other people's relationships that you aren't involved in. I'm sure it can work between ENFP and ISTJ - my step sister and I were extremely close and she is ISTJ. That's why I sent her to that thread.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
It can work. Typesetting compatability isn't and shouldn't be a prerequisite for love.
 

Habba

New member
Joined
Jul 22, 2008
Messages
988
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
1w9
It can work. Typesetting compatability isn't and shouldn't be a prerequisite for love.

I think that the types will only point out how the problems will show up, when they do. Each pair have problems, and they emerge in different ways and places.

But atleast ISTJs seem to be naturally attracted to ENFPs. We have witnessed it here a few times.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Well.... ENFP's and I get along great! :yes: If only I could figure out how to capture one! :devil:
 

AutumnReverie

New member
Joined
May 6, 2009
Messages
327
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
6w5
But atleast ISTJs seem to be naturally attracted to ENFPs. We have witnessed it here a few times.
Is this just a male ISTJ thing? :huh: Because I've, personally, never been romantically obsessed with or naturally attracted to ENFPs. In fact, that's one of the types I specifically knew I didn't want to marry* :laugh: Or maybe growing up with two ENFP parents influenced my thinking... :alttongue: Friends with ENFPs? YES. Living with one? No, no, no.

*I've, since then, formed a positive opinion about ENFPs :)...but still not obsessed nor am I actively seeking one

I think that the types will only point out how the problems will show up, when they do. Each pair have problems, and they emerge in different ways and places.
I agree with this. I think any type can work together, it just depends on the individuals and how they deal with those problems that show up.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
I went on a date with a girl last night that seems pretty ENFP. I finally asked her out a week ago. I've known her for about 10 months. We had talked on the phone twice for an hour at a time before we went to the fair last night. It went pretty well, went from holding hands at the beginning to a couple spontaneous kisses throughout the night and a goodnight kiss. It was really fun going out on a date, but I feel kind of stopped on the mutual interests thing. Whenever I try to invoke Ne and talk in analogies, she's able to quickly catch on and she's able to carry conversations on her own. She's pretty go with the flow.

I noticed I was quiet a bit throughout the night. I really suck at maintaining conversations. I'm just kind of stuck myself on where to go from here. This whole dating thing is new to me, and we haven't setup a second date yet. I called her tonight and we talked for 15 minutes but didn't set anything up. I guess right now I just need to work on what's appealing about her to me to figure out if this is really worth going into. It's just a lot to suddenly take in. It was my first date ever, at 23, too. I just feel really thrown off right now.

I'm trying to figure out how I want to handle moving forward right now, especially a second date. I'm just not sure how to go about it yet. Grr, I feel jumbled up emotionally, like a wrench has been thrown into my life. Heh.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
Raz,

Just ask her to go on the second date. Don't worry too much about purpose and all that other stuff. You know as an ENFP, she's probably more go with the flow and would be happy.

Don't analyze this to death. Just go, spend more time with her, and you'll figure out the whens, whos, whys, and whats.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
My best mate is ENFP and I can't believe she found an ISTJ boyfriend! They've only known each other for 1 year and they are going to get married soon. They are totally opposite side and I dont like that guy. He is boring but very responsibly.

Although i am happy but i am also worried about her. I heard ENFP and ISTJ are conflict side. Most of their argument are because the ISTJ are being very controlled.

Anyone know any stories about ENFP and ISTJ? Will they be happy after married?
If the ISTJ were brilliant, unique and special, somehow.

I could see this match working.

:)
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
My best mate is ENFP and I can't believe she found an ISTJ boyfriend! They've only known each other for 1 year and they are going to get married soon. They are totally opposite side and I dont like that guy. He is boring but very responsibly.

Although i am happy but i am also worried about her. I heard ENFP and ISTJ are conflict side. Most of their argument are because the ISTJ are being very controlled.

Anyone know any stories about ENFP and ISTJ? Will they be happy after married?

I am so sorry to say this, but who is marrying the ISTJ, you or your best mate.

Instead of looking for answers regarding their relationship (if you got a bad response here, would you tell her that in the hope she would call off the marriage and do you really think she would listen to you, probably not) why not be supportive.

She has to live her life and learn by her mistakes, now i understand why you are asking what you are but how about you be a friend and should the chips fall, then you'll be a true friend and help pick her up when she needs you most.

She/they may just surprise you and have a very happy marriage. You may not like him but she obviously loves the guy enough to marry him so let her be happy.

:D
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
yeah it can work if both people want it 100%.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
Raz,

Just ask her to go on the second date. Don't worry too much about purpose and all that other stuff. You know as an ENFP, she's probably more go with the flow and would be happy.

Don't analyze this to death. Just go, spend more time with her, and you'll figure out the whens, whos, whys, and whats.

Working on that, sir. Easier said than done.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
Working on that, sir. Easier said than done.


I feel you man, I'm speaking to you from experience. I'm 31, involved in my first 'serious' relationship. Prior to this I had a job that I worked all types of hours, and in between I had a few 'friends' here and there. She's ISFP, so while we have that S similarity, there are still a lot of challenges. It's been a struggle, but it pays dividends in the end.

Let us know how it goes!
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
I feel you man, I'm speaking to you from experience. I'm 31, involved in my first 'serious' relationship. Prior to this I had a job that I worked all types of hours, and in between I had a few 'friends' here and there. She's ISFP, so while we have that S similarity, there are still a lot of challenges. It's been a struggle, but it pays dividends in the end.

Let us know how it goes!

We texted yesterday, but then I tried calling late last night, and left a message when I got her voice mail. I just feel all sorts of messed up right now. I'm trying not to analyze everything, but it's just all so confusing. It's forcing me to face a lot of feelings, new and old. I felt like I had to revisit my point of view on relationships, and it apparently wasn't as solidified as I thought.

There are just so many gray areas that make me feel so uncomfortable and then just makes me end up being clingy because it's so hard to find that balance between being into someone and having my own life. Sigh. I just want to run away and start crying right now.
 

angelsinging

New member
Joined
Sep 26, 2009
Messages
11
MBTI Type
INFP
She/they may just surprise you and have a very happy marriage. You may not like him but she obviously loves the guy enough to marry him so let her be happy.

:D[/QUOTE]

Yes, I think you are right. Maybe i am thinking to much. As long as she is happy everything will be fine.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
MBTI Type
LoLz
Still no call from her. I hope I didn't do something wrong. If I did, I wish I knew what.
 
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