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[ISFJ] Words of an ISFJ ?

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
Hi there ISFJs, I need your help.

I am trying to figure someone's personality out, I've been pretty much working on this for years. I had recently concluded she was a clean-cut ISFP (she's a skillful musician and massage therapist, has composed some music, enjoying life seems to be quite important to her) until I read Keirsey's description of the ISFJ. I then recognised some things she had said that made her sound like she had a strong ISFJ side as well.

Would these words be associated with your personality type?

"I love to have responsibilitites and to do my work well."

"This time gave me an appreciation for hard work. [...] As I grew so did my love for [...] my culture."

"I couldn't play (music) yet again for less money than what we were worth."

They kind of sound ISFJ to me. Previous work experience include secretary/administration work (and studying) and she considered becoming a nurse before choosing massage therapy.

She is quite sober in the way she dresses and never looks flashy or anything.

What do you think?
 

Lightning_Rider

New member
Joined
Nov 2, 2008
Messages
94
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Sounds like she could be an ISFJ to me. ISFP's are generally a little more stylish I think. Then again I think ISFJ's generally have a good sense of style too.
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
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1w2
Hey !! Hi there fellow Montrealer! :)
 

Lambchop

New member
Joined
Aug 13, 2009
Messages
235
MBTI Type
ISFJ
Sounds somewhat like me. But my ISFP son would make the remark about music.

I considered becoming a nurse. Somehow I ended up as a paralegal.
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
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1w2
I confirm, she is an ISFJ. Met and spoke with her last weekend, and paid close attention to her words. She is a folk musician, and this for her is a way to honour and protect her traditions (she is from Cape Breton).
She probably has a 30-40% P, but certainly dominant J (she was telling me about her long "To Do" lists...) Massage therapy for her is a way of "helping people" - the SJ helpmate, you know what I mean...
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Yeah, well, she just hurt my feelings REAL bad during that weekend. :cry:

From what I understand, those ISFJ females hurt others' feelings real bad... BUT 99% of the time they don't mean to. Just don't do anything rash because there might be some misunderstanding somewhere along the line. :yes:
 

FDG

pathwise dependent
Joined
Aug 13, 2007
Messages
5,903
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
7w8
Feelings!...what's that?
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
It is as has been mentioned, she doesn't mean to, but she just keeps hurting me. She doesn't keep her word, she isn't consistant in her attitude. I show up quite confused after all this, and she's asking me "Did you have a good day?" with a huge smile, and she doesn't understand why I answer no and why I'm sad. I think I've made it very clear to her that I respect her and care about her very much, so why is she always surprised that it hurts me when she's letting me down?
I wrote her a letter to explain, hopefully, this will take all misunderstandings possible away. (I SPELLED out things for her as clearly as I could.)
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Wait a minute,

You saying she lets you down because she asks how your day was? :huh:
What does she say when you tell her you are sad?
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
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1w2
Wait a minute,

You saying she lets you down because she asks how your day was? :huh:
What does she say when you tell her you are sad?

No, after letting me down and not keeping her word, I show up to her and she has this big smile asking if I had a good day. (Seems pretty obvious she ruined my day) - But as i've read elsewhere, ISFJs don't feel empathy.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
No, after letting me down and not keeping her word, I show up to her and she has this big smile asking if I had a good day. (Seems pretty obvious she ruined my day) - But as i've read elsewhere, ISFJs don't feel empathy.

Of course they feel empathy, their just a little oblivious. Are you sure she is ISFJ?

Did she give you a reason why she didn't keep her word?
Did you have solid plans? As in, you mutually agreed to meet at "X" place at "X" time?
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
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Of course they feel empathy, their just a little oblivious. Are you sure she is ISFJ?

Did she give you a reason why she didn't keep her word?
Did you have solid plans? As in, you mutually agreed to meet at "X" place at "X" time?

She is oblivious, as you say. Because if you point it out to her, she doesn't understand what you're talking about. So I don't insist, and I'm too crushed to insist.
She's not 100% J, she has some P (30-40%), but her mental structure is SJ, mainly.

She doesn't feel empathy. I told her my father had died (we hadn't seen each other in around 9 years) and she had known him. I saw her trying to fake a serious facial expression that would fit, and then proceeded to the I'm sorry thing, with no real appropriate emotion to it. After I explained the whole thing to her, she said: "I can't imagine how I would feel if that happened to my parents."

It's ok d@v3, I understand the pattern going on inside of her (my mother and brother are SJs), it just saddens me to realize I will never be able to befriend her in the way I hoped (soulfully, as the nfs wish for).
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
It sounds like she is INTJ or ISTJ?

Anyway, why are you attracted to such a person who cannot "feel"? What do you find attractive about her? Or are you just wanting to be friends with her?
 

KLessard

Aspiring Troens Ridder
Joined
Apr 25, 2008
Messages
595
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
1w2
It sounds like she is INTJ or ISTJ?

Anyway, why are you attracted to such a person who cannot "feel"? What do you find attractive about her? Or are you just wanting to be friends with her?

Yes, I would like to befriend her in a deeper way. I've tried my best at it, but since I'm not on her list of priorities (family, close friends and her community) - and since we live in different provinces, I'm just rarely within reach of her S. For N types, this is not a problem, but for Sensitives, it is.
She is NOT T at all, she is really ISFJ. She's very kind and sweet, but in this very polite way. It's not deep and honest in the NF way. She is sympathetic, not empathetic. Big difference.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Listen, does she know- beyond a reasonable doubt- that you are interested in her? Have you TOLD face-to-face, bluntly, that you are interested in her like that? Or is that what you are hoping to accomplish with your letter?

She may just not understand how much you care for her. The ISFJ I was after said she was "not interested in a relationship right now", even though she was sweet and shy and all that stuff you are talking about.
 
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