[MBTI General] For ISxJ females....

[d@v3]

Okay, she pretty much told me that she was "not really looking for a relationship" right now because of school. This was during a phone conversation. Surprisingly, the conversation didn't end there. We got to talking more, and somehow we got into our moral values... and I was right! They match almost to a "T". She seemed surprised, perhaps she felt she was wrong about me?


It felt like she had a big sigh of relief when she found out just how close our values were. I would mention something and she would be like "oh my gosh me too!" and all excited.

This week our texting has started again. However, I told her I was going to call her last night but she never answered. Granted, it was an hour after I said I would call, because my meeting got out late. Is that bad?

Also, when I text her later at night, she does not respond (probably sleeping) but she doesn't respond the next day either! Is this normal?

Dilemma: I really wanted to talk to her so I could invite her to go out with friends tomorrow night, but I don't want to invite her over texting and I can't seem to get her on the phone. I am afraid now it is too late. =(

 

[countrygirl]

Okay, she pretty much told me that she was "not really looking for a relationship" right now because of school. This was during a phone conversation. Surprisingly, the conversation didn't end there. We got to talking more, and somehow we got into our moral values... and I was right! They match almost to a "T". She seemed surprised, perhaps she felt she was wrong about me?


It felt like she had a big sigh of relief when she found out just how close our values were. I would mention something and she would be like "oh my gosh me too!" and all excited.

This week our texting has started again. However, I told her I was going to call her last night but she never answered. Granted, it was an hour after I said I would call, because my meeting got out late. Is that bad?

Also, when I text her later at night, she does not respond (probably sleeping) but she doesn't respond the next day either! Is this normal?

Dilemma: I really wanted to talk to her so I could invite her to go out with friends tomorrow night, but I don't want to invite her over texting and I can't seem to get her on the phone. I am afraid now it is too late. =(

If you want to go out as friends then text her. If you want a date then ask her.

However in this situation I would text her and let her know where the party's is. If she show up great. If she doesn't, then that's fine too.

 

[d@v3]

Well, now I am really confused. She still have not responded, and I talked with one of her friends. Even though this friends doesn't get to talk to her much, she has told me that the last she knew, the ISFJ was dating someone.

I have decided not to attempt to talk to her again... =(

 

[Saslou]

Plenty more fish in the sea darling

 

[d@v3]

It doesn't seem like it. =(

 

[countrygirl]

Well, now I am really confused. She still have not responded, and I talked with one of her friends. Even though this friends doesn't get to talk to her much, she has told me that the last she knew, the ISFJ was dating someone.

I have decided not to attempt to talk to her again... =(

She sounds like an ISFP. Or just not interested.

 

[Saslou]

It doesn't seem like it. =(

Oh darling .. View it like you are being picky .. You don't want any old girl .. You got style and you are waiting for the girl with style, that takes time.

 

[d@v3]

She sounds like an ISFP. Or just not interested.

Well, she took MBTI test and got ISFJ. But, I suppose you could be right.....

Oh darling .. View it like you are being picky .. You don't want any old girl .. You got style and you are waiting for the girl with style, that takes time.

I am picky, well, I thought I was. Perhaps I am not "putting myself out there" enough. I'm not sure how to do that without taking risks....

 

[JTG1984]

Well, now I am really confused. She still have not responded, and I talked with one of her friends. Even though this friends doesn't get to talk to her much, she has told me that the last she knew, the ISFJ was dating someone.

I have decided not to attempt to talk to her again... =(

Why did you decide that? That makes your intentions obvious, I say continue to talk to her even if she has a boyfriend lay off the texting and inviting her places. Go out to coffee every so often to 'catch up' to keep her around, who knows maybe her and the boyfriend wont work then you can continue where you left off.

 

[d@v3]

That would work, except she has not responded to my messages in the last couple days. She doesn't live near me, so it's difficult to go out for coffee.

 

[Saslou]

That would work, except she has not responded to my messages in the last couple days. She doesn't live near me, so it's difficult to go out for coffee.

You need to have a coffee/tea with me!

That's a statement and not a question darling.

 

[ayoitsStepho]

That would work, except she has not responded to my messages in the last couple days. She doesn't live near me, so it's difficult to go out for coffee.

Keep her as a friend, you don't have to see her all the time.
I know your shy and all, but we're all at a point where we have to take
our lives into our own hands. If you want friends you gotta go them. You want a girl? Go pursue her.
I highly think is alot more wise to have a good group of friends before you go and try to catch a gf. I'm serious here. Because once/if that girl turns you down or you all break up...who are you going to have? You really need to have a good friend or two. And to do that you gotta be a friend. You can't just sit by and wait for people to talk to you. They probably wont. YOU have to be the one to own up to what you want and take life by the horns.
You need to have some courage. People will not bite you if you make an attempt to just talk to them and get to know them. I think almost everyone wants to be understood. So do that.
You know we're all here for the support, but you gotta do it the rest of the way. You can't make excuses. Just go for it whole heartedly!
You can do it. Everyone can. Its just pushing that fear aside and going for it.

 

[d@v3]

You need to have a coffee/tea with me!

That's a statement and not a question darling.

Keep her as a friend, you don't have to see her all the time.
I know your shy and all, but we're all at a point where we have to take
our lives into our own hands. If you want friends you gotta go them. You want a girl? Go pursue her.
I highly think is alot more wise to have a good group of friends before you go and try to catch a gf. I'm serious here. Because once/if that girl turns you down or you all break up...who are you going to have? You really need to have a good friend or two. And to do that you gotta be a friend. You can't just sit by and wait for people to talk to you. They probably wont. YOU have to be the one to own up to what you want and take life by the horns.
You need to have some courage. People will not bite you if you make an attempt to just talk to them and get to know them. I think almost everyone wants to be understood. So do that.
You know we're all here for the support, but you gotta do it the rest of the way. You can't make excuses. Just go for it whole heartedly!
You can do it. Everyone can. Its just pushing that fear aside and going for it.

But. I DO talk to people, today, I sat down to nice girl I know from meetings I go to. I have never really talked with her before, but I saw her sitting by herself so I sat down with her. I do not *like* her, but she is very nice. I am very positive that she is ISTJ. It was like talking to a wall... and she had almost no emotion. When I finally DID get a smile or a laugh out of her, she stopped immediately...

Needless to say, it was a fairly quiet lunch.

 

[AutumnReverie]

When I finally DID get a smile or a laugh out of her, she stopped immediately...

Hmm, maybe your jokes just aren't as funny as you think they are ISTJ females don't BS, they're not likely to indulge you and laugh/smile anyways.

Although, in a case like that, I might jokingly call him out on his "joke-fail" and giggle/smile at that

 

[d@v3]

Hmm, maybe your jokes just aren't as funny as you think they are ISTJ females don't BS, they're not likely to indulge you and laugh/smile anyways.

Although, in a case like that, I might jokingly call him out on his "joke-fail" and giggle/smile at that

Hmm... well I suppose it is possible. But she gave herself away...because she would start to smile and laugh but then she would stop as if to hold in the laughter. It was quite amusing. Same thing last night, I walked down there to get dinner and she was there so we sat with each other once again. She did the same thing. It is like she is afraid to laugh!

ISTJ females are on my list of mysteries to solve.

 

[AutumnReverie]

Hmm... well I suppose it is possible. But she gave herself away...because she would start to smile and laugh but then she would stop as if to hold in the laughter. It was quite amusing. Same thing last night, I walked down there to get dinner and she was there so we sat with each other once again. She did the same thing. It is like she is afraid to laugh!

ISTJ females are on my list of mysteries to solve.

Well that's odd I usually either smile or don't smile...I never really restrict myself from smiling unless I'm in a situation where it would be inappropriate to smile/laugh.

How did you determine that she was an ISTJ?

 

[d@v3]

Well that's odd I usually either smile or don't smile...I never really restrict myself from smiling unless I'm in a situation where it would be inappropriate to smile/laugh.

How did you determine that she was an ISTJ?

She's:
-Very Quiet
-Sucks at Conversations (I have to pry by asking questions to get her to talk! )
-Does NOT Seem Shy
-Devoted to Work
-Doesn't care what others think

I suppose she could be a INTJ or ISFJ with a very low F?

 

[AutumnReverie]

She's:
-Very Quiet
I'm actually very talkative if I'm one-on-one with someone. Especially if I'm with another introvert! When I'm in a large group/crowd is when I become very quiet.
-Sucks at Conversations (I have to pry by asking questions to get her to talk! )
I've been told by professors and close friends that I'm a "great conversationalist". I usually don't wait for other people to ask me questions...I go ahead and ask them questions or bring up an interesting topic. I avoid asking questions that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no"
-Does NOT Seem Shy
ISTJ females can be sometimes be shy underneath...
-Devoted to Work
-Doesn't care what others think
How so?

This sounds more like an INTJ, to me.

 

[d@v3]

In that case, she might even be an INTP! But I don't think she likes aliens.

Shy underneath?

I take back the last statement about her not caring about what others think. I just get that vibe but I have no proof. =(

 

[AutumnReverie]

Shy underneath?

Definitely