[MBTI General] For ISxJ females....

[AutumnReverie]

I guess I meant "how you carry yourself" as in, how confidently you appear to those around you. Would someone looking at you be able to tell, based on your body language, that you are a confident person? So, I guess, when I referred to "how you carry yourself" I was referring to non-verbal confidence.

Although, I am quiet. That is bad? =(

It's not bad. I'm quiet too and my friends tell me that I have a "quiet confidence", so I suppose it's possible to be both quiet and confident.

 

[d@v3]

So, how do I know if I am "carrying myself" confidently or not? Give me an example. I mean, you said body language? What kind of body language says "I'm confident"?

How do you know if you have this "quiet confidence" or not?

 

[AutumnReverie]

So, how do I know if I am "carrying myself" confidently or not? Give me an example. I mean, you said body language? What kind of body language says "I'm confident"?

I think if you're confident internally (have a good amount of self-confidence) then your body language will automatically adapt and change. Like you said, in a previous thread (about ISTJs), your thoughts and actions usually match each other.

For examples, hmm... some who is walking tall (not slouched over), sitting upright, not looking unsure or uneasy about where they are or who they're talking to, etc. would seem more confident. Maybe.

How do you know if you have this "quiet confidence" or not?

...I don't know that's just what I've been told by friends (who, I guess, I'm more comfortable around and therefore more confident around).

 

[Grungemouse]

So, how do I know if I am "carrying myself" confidently or not? Give me an example. I mean, you said body language? What kind of body language says "I'm confident"?

How do you know if you have this "quiet confidence" or not?

Usually open body language; head up, back straight and shoulders back. Don't stuff your hands in your pockets, or tap your feet. I'd say ISFJ's were especially tuned into body language. Maybe you could Google for some confident body language tips?

 

[JTG1984]

I think if you're confident internally (have a good amount of self-confidence) then your body language will automatically adapt and change. Like you said, in a previous thread (about ISTJs), your thoughts and actions usually match each other.

For examples, hmm... some who is walking tall (not slouched over), sitting upright, not looking unsure or uneasy about where they are or who they're talking to, etc. would seem more confident. Maybe.


...I don't know that's just what I've been told by friends (who, I guess, I'm more comfortable around and therefore more confident).

That sounds about right. Dont try to be something you are not, if you are quiet dont try to be a loud mouth. We ISFJs know when your faking it.

 

[d@v3]

Thanks for the tips.

So, ISFJ's are good at knowing whether you are faking it or not?

Well, when I was with her last march, I was VERY quiet as I was VERY stressed out. I mean, I was still easy going and stuff, but I was pretty nervous whenever I talked to her. However, nowadays, many of the things I was stressed out about are gone and I am MUCH more laid back and easy going. (You won't notice this change from my posts on the forums I don't think.) But, do you think that has any effect on what she thinks now? =(

 

[JTG1984]

Thanks for the tips.

So, ISFJ's are good at knowing whether you are faking it or not?

Well, when I was with her last march, I was VERY quiet as I was VERY stressed out. I mean, I was still easy going and stuff, but I was pretty nervous whenever I talked to her. However, nowadays, many of the things I was stressed out about are gone and I am MUCH more laid back and easy going. (You won't notice this change from my posts on the forums I don't think.) But, do you think that has any effect on what she thinks now? =(

I was just kidding!

 

[Giggly]

It's not always easy to distinguish friendliness from flirting/romantic interest. She may be confused about your intentions as well. My suggestion is to ask her out on a date. Make sure to say the word "date" and not only use ambiguous terms like "hang out", "have fun", "chill", or ","show you around". Use the word "date". That will put you both in the proper frame of mind.

It sounds like you're already doing good, dave. Good luck!

 

[d@v3]

I was just kidding!

Kidding about what? You cannot "kid" with an ISTJ!

It's not always easy to distinguish friendliness from flirting/romantic interest. She may be confused about your intentions as well. My suggestion is to ask her out on a date. Make sure to say the word "date" and not only use ambiguous terms like "hang out", "have fun", "chill", or ","show you around". Use the word "date". That will put you both in the proper frame of mind.

It sounds like you're already doing good, dave. Good luck!

How long do I wait until I ask her on this "date"? Are you sure I should? What do I say if she says no? =(

She is very shy, and I do not want to scare her off by saying the word "date" either. How will I know if she is open to the "date" or not?

 

[Giggly]

How long do I wait until I ask her on this "date"? Are you sure I should? What do I say if she says no? =(

She is very shy, and I do not want to scare her off by saying the word "date" either. How will I know if she is open to the "date" or not?

If you're certain that she won't start seeing someone else, then yeah, just wait on it until you feel more comfortable asking her out.

 

[d@v3]

I am idiot.

I texted her, but I think it was too late and she is already sleeping because she has not responded. =( Now what do I do?

I did not ask her out yet though.

Well, Giggly, how would you typically show you are interested in an ISTJ? I mean, someone said earlier ISFJ's were very subtle. What if I have missed certain cues or signs?

 

[Giggly]

I am idiot.

I texted her, but I think it was too late and she is already sleeping because she has not responded. =(

I did not ask her out yet though.

Well, Giggly, how would you typically show you are interested in an ISTJ? I mean, someone said earlier ISFJ's were very subtle. What if I have missed certain cues or signs?

I don't know if you have or haven't missed any cues because I don't know her or what has transpired. Not all ISFJs are alike. I am definitely weird too. Not so weird -- I tend to act really giddy, goofy and mushy around a guy I like, and I end up just telling him that I like him. On a rare occasion, I'll act combative or argumentative. This is done out of nervousness, but I'll stop once I realize that what I'm doing is stupid and that I just like the guy.

 

[d@v3]

What does all the laughing mean? She is all the time laughing at my jokes and smiling when around me. Like at the bar... when all our friends left us to go to another table she stayed behind with me and was giggling at my jokes and at our conversation....

But then again... other girls have been like that too. :rolli:

Combative?

 

[Giggly]

What does all the laughing mean? She is all the time laughing at my jokes and smiling when around me. Like at the bar... when all our friends left us to go to another table she stayed behind with me and was giggling at my jokes and at our conversation....

But then again... other girls have been like that too. :rolli:

Combative?

D@ve, have you ever made a connection with someone and felt it when it was happening?

as for giggling, giggling is GOOD. That's all I know.

 

[d@v3]

D@ve, have you ever made a connection with someone and felt it when it was happening?

as for giggling, giggling is GOOD. That's all I know.

Connection? Felt it? ... I can't say I have.

That is very good that the giggling is good.

I wonder how this texting thing will play out... do you think she will text me back when she gets up in the morning or ignore my text altogether? =(

 

[Giggly]

Connection? Felt it? ... I can't say I have.

That is very good that the giggling is good.

I wonder how this texting thing will play out... do you think she will text me back when she gets up in the morning or ignore my text altogether? =(

I don't know. Has she ever not answered your texts before? I think you should stop thinking about it till morning since you can't do anything about it.

You asked about me being combative sometimes, and I forgot to answer....yeah it's like I feel a sudden burst of nervous frustration and that makes me want to fight with the source of my frustration.

 

[d@v3]

I don't know. Has she ever not answered your texts before? I think you should stop thinking about it till morning since you can't do anything about it.

You asked about me being combative sometimes, and I forgot to answer....yeah it's like I feel a sudden burst of nervous frustration and that makes me want to fight with the source of my frustration.

Yeah.

... So, what would be my best course of action if this happens?

And where were you going with the whole "connections" thing? I am curious now.

 

[d@v3]

Well, she has just texted me back.

Should I ask her if I should call her, THEN ask her out this weekend? or should I just ask her over texting.... I would rather call and ask I think. Maybe it doesn't matter. How long should I wait?

I stress too much.

Giggly, I still want to know what you meant about 'connections'.

 

[Giggly]

Yeah, you do stress too much. Chill out, man.

 

[d@v3]

I guess I just don't want to make a mistake. ... The thing is, I don't even care that much about it, I just make myself seem like I do. If that makes any sense.

So, does your response mean it doesn't matter what I do next or how I respond to her?