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  1. #51
    just a vessel EJCC's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    173 so/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    And that's sort of how to approach them: They might not see where you're coming from right off if you're not taking a very methodical, hard-edged approach to working a situation and trying to bring closure to it, but if you share enough of your thoughts that they can perceive you're actually thinking through it and have reasons for doing what you're doing, then they can be more supportive. The ones I knew also seem to respect diligence, responsibility, having an ideal of excellence in one's work, and taking initiative.

    Exactly - be patient, give us a little time, and we'll get it. We may not be CONVINCED (or we might - who knows?), but we may in fact see where you're coming from. A lot of people don't realize that the ESTJ "my-way-is-the-only-way" exterior isn't nearly as hard as it seems; with a little pressure, loads of evidence and much convincing, our seemingly invulnerable convictions can be swayed. e.g. I now know, after much experience, that with most music that I say I "hate", no matter how passionately, I can learn to like it by just playing it over and over until I become accustomed to it (I did this with the NIN cd "The Downward Spiral"). Same with many other things.

    (That's probably why people call us hypocrites, actually... my theory as to that is that ESTJs are incredibly loud about what's "right" and what we'll "never do", without realizing that things CHANGE over time, and that people are flawed... and once the ESTJ switches positions on something, they feel incredibly guilty about their hypocrisy, then rationalize their way out of the negative feelings. For example, I just joined a social networking site after years of saying that I'd never do it, and now I feel terrible... I hope you see what I mean.)

    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"

    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
    1w2/7w8/3w4 so/sx (enneagram)
    member of the month (May 2018)
    want to ask me something? go for it!

  2. #52
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    9w8 sx/sp
    SEE Fi


    ESTJs are cool first off.

    I cannot tell you the pain of having to deal with an unhealthy ESTJ as their opposite. This is where most of the ESTJ hate comes from. I work with plenty of XSTJs and the best way of communication is blunt, to the point with a bit of respect thrown in. This is the best way to bond with one it seems. They will see you as a good person if you do good things, it's fairly simple. Other than that it's all up to the relationship, everyone is different, and since ESTJs are one of the most common then there will most certainly be a lot of unique people within that particular type. Sometimes if you have no common ground it just won't work.

    By the way I cannot emphasize enough how much of an effect proving how good of a human you are to them is. I remember a co worker (male ESTJ) needed some help with his work (stocker) so that he could get home early for some family issue. I offered to help (someone took my place on the register) and the next day he bought me lunch. That was very cool. Little things like that add up, they won't forget a good thing you have done.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  3. #53
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008


    ESTP says...

    Why should I help you....?

    I guess this is why I don't get along with ESTJs most of the time (well according to socionics thats normal for ESTP/ESTJ relations)

    I'm just not "good" enough you see...I'd rather use my brain to help people

    I've noticed most of the computer work I do for an ESTJ goes completely unnoticed and unappreciated but cleaning the bathroom on the other hand....

    We just don't understand each other... I've got nothing against ESTJs but I believe that they can't get along with ESTPs from my experience.

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