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[MBTI General] How affectionate/touchy feely are you SJs/STJs?

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
I don't know if it's more of an I over E, but this is definitely one of developmental areas.

I don't know how to tell my girl this, but for me the only time that type of physical contact is necessary is when we're doin it!!

Otherwise I feel kind of smothered. For some reasons holding hands makes me feel some type of queezy if it's not leading to the do.

Anybody else?
 

Take Five

Supreme Allied Commander
Joined
Aug 26, 2008
Messages
925
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
1w9
I'm not really at all touchy feely
 

Saslou

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2009
Messages
4,910
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I love being affectionate with the person i love.
It is particulary nice when i can just be touchy/feely and not have to worry how the other will react. Be it, stroking his hand. Lying on his chest listening to his heart beat or just going up to him and kissing him, all because i wanted to. *sigh*

:wubbie:
 

SubjectA

New member
Joined
Jul 17, 2009
Messages
164
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1
I'd think that xSFJ's tend to be more affectionate than xSTJ's. My dad (ISTJ) was rarely affectionate with me. He only hugged me when it was time to shake hands in church, he never had any sort of pet names for me like some fathers have for their daughters, etc... He was sort of affectionate when I was little, but I don't think it was that often.

My fiance (ISFJ) on the other hand, is quite affectionate. He loves to cuddle or give me random massages. He's very playful with his nieces. He seems to be a lot more in tune and responsive to how I'm feeling in general. However he rarely says "I love you."
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
I love being affectionate with the person i love.
It is particulary nice when i can just be touchy/feely and not have to worry how the other will react. Be it, stroking his hand. Lying on his chest listening to his heart beat or just going up to him and kissing him, all because i wanted to. *sigh*

:wubbie:

:rolli: (;))

Yeah I don't think I'm too open to the touchy/feely stuff either. :peepwall:
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yeah, I found with my ESTJ that he wasn't as touchy as I wanted, and I'm a fairly independent, doesn't like to be smothered person.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
I love being affectionate with the person i love.
It is particulary nice when i can just be touchy/feely and not have to worry how the other will react. Be it, stroking his hand. Lying on his chest listening to his heart beat or just going up to him and kissing him, all because i wanted to. *sigh*

:wubbie:

I thought it was more of an STJ over an SFJ, but I'd like to hear all sides.

If I just put it for STJs, no SFJs would show up. LOL


:hug:
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
I'd think that xSFJ's tend to be more affectionate than xSTJ's. My dad (ISTJ) was rarely affectionate with me. He only hugged me when it was time to shake hands in church, he never had any sort of pet names for me like some fathers have for their daughters, etc... He was sort of affectionate when I was little, but I don't think it was that often.

My fiance (ISFJ) on the other hand, is quite affectionate. He loves to cuddle or give me random massages. He's very playful with his nieces. He seems to be a lot more in tune and responsive to how I'm feeling in general. However he rarely says "I love you."


Yeah true. I want to say that it's all Ts who have this deficiency- what do you think?

I can't reconcile any female not being touchy feely, though. I see you are an INTJ- how meaningful are those things to you? And does your friend's lack of I love yous bother you?
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Generally this seems to be a T thing. However, I was talking with a couple of ENTPs who are in relationships and they felt that with their friends as well as their SO they were very physically affectionate. I think even with them though that wouldn't be consistent all the time maybe?
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Whats the definition of "Physically Affectionate"... :huh: The OP should define it I guess.
 

Rachelinpa

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2008
Messages
878
MBTI Type
ENFP
SFs (both Ps and Js) are the most touchy types, in my experience.
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
9,661
MBTI Type
iSFj
Enneagram
2
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm very affectionate and touchy/feely. I'm always touching and telling the people I love that I love them all the time. It's a big part of how I express myself, and that makes me feel fulfilled. I know that I favor this so I tend to gravitate more towards those who don't mind it so much and will indulge with me in it. I think this is why I tend to like SPs so much. They don't mind my verbal/physical affection and I find their Se to be so attractive.
 

Cimarron

IRL is not real
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
3,417
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Enneagram
5w6
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
It's hard to tell...I don't have much experience with it. :alttongue:

I would think if I were in a relationship, I'd want some physical contact. Like desiring to hold her hand, or run a hand through her hair--I remember being there. Can't tell how much more or less I'd want it compared to other people, because I lack that data, heh.

Family and friends: No, I don't really touch them at all. I hug my mom, because she insists. For long-standing bonds like that, I figure that they know where I stand with them. And I wonder if that's what would happen with a long-term girlfriend eventually...

Touch is a very personal thing for me, though. If I touch someone or let them touch me, it means something very important. Some profiles say that Si makes us "very aware of our bodies," so maybe that is one effect.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
Whats the definition of "Physically Affectionate"... :huh: The OP should define it I guess.

When I say that I mean things like kissing, hugging, touching, etc, in a non-sexual way.
 

SubjectA

New member
Joined
Jul 17, 2009
Messages
164
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1
Yeah true. I want to say that it's all Ts who have this deficiency- what do you think?

I can't reconcile any female not being touchy feely, though. I see you are an INTJ- how meaningful are those things to you? And does your friend's lack of I love yous bother you?

My fiance is a lucky one. I do like being physically affectionate with him. I love stroking his hair, hugging him randomly, etc... He just has those teddy bear qualities that make it easy to do for me I guess.

But he's an exception that I can't explain. I don't like hugs or kisses from my friends. With my previous boyfriend I didn't much care for cuddling or anything like that. I even feel awkward when I hug my father. When someone plops one of my fiance's nieces in my arms I'm pretty awkward when attempting to play with them. It simply doesn't come naturally for me. And I definitely don't cuddle and coo them.

My fiance's lack of I love yous don't bother me at all. I don't need verbal affirmation because I can see it in all the other things he does for me as well as all the quality time we spend together, among other things. In fact, I prefer to not have verbal affirmation, because I feel really awkward returning it.

In conclusion I wouldn't say all T's have a deficiency of touchy-feely-ness, though I suppose it kind of depends on if they have a developed F. I think in general they can live without it though, and won't be the first one to run up and hug you. I'm sure there are always certain exceptions, such as my case.
 

Just another ISTJ

New member
Joined
Jan 22, 2009
Messages
117
MBTI Type
IsTj
Enneagram
1w9
I'm very much not touchy feely. It takes a while before I make any attempt at initiating physical affection. Even then, I find it somewhat awkward.

I don't mind it when people hug me though!
 

StephMC

Controlled Mischief
Joined
Mar 2, 2009
Messages
1,044
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
My ESTJ boyfriend is pretty cuddly. At least more so than me, which isn't saying a lot. He likes being close to me. Sometimes he'll have a hand on my head or around my waist, or whatever. He -has- to spoon me at night. Somehow I found myself putting up with it. :D
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I grew up around touchy so I dont know if its a type thing or not with me. My family is big on hugs, putting arms around each others shoulders, etc. and they will hug anyone. I have a hard time just hugging people outside of family, but I like hugs and will never turn one down.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
MBTI Type
INTJ
My fiance is a lucky one. I do like being physically affectionate with him. I love stroking his hair, hugging him randomly, etc... He just has those teddy bear qualities that make it easy to do for me I guess.

But he's an exception that I can't explain. I don't like hugs or kisses from my friends. With my previous boyfriend I didn't much care for cuddling or anything like that. I even feel awkward when I hug my father. When someone plops one of my fiance's nieces in my arms I'm pretty awkward when attempting to play with them. It simply doesn't come naturally for me. And I definitely don't cuddle and coo them.

My fiance's lack of I love yous don't bother me at all. I don't need verbal affirmation because I can see it in all the other things he does for me as well as all the quality time we spend together, among other things. In fact, I prefer to not have verbal affirmation, because I feel really awkward returning it.

In conclusion I wouldn't say all T's have a deficiency of touchy-feely-ness, though I suppose it kind of depends on if they have a developed F. I think in general they can live without it though, and won't be the first one to run up and hug you. I'm sure there are always certain exceptions, such as my case.

Ha- my family is NOT touchy feely- with sibs, we'll punch on the arm, or a headlock before we hug. So talk about something underdeveloped? My F is more like [SIZE="-1"]f[/SIZE]. Pathetic!!!

And I date an ISFP girl. The more I read about them the more I see that this issue may be bigger than both she and I thought.
 
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