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[SJ] SJ's and Perfectionism

Saslou

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I noticed from the SJ and dating thread that a few people had said that their standards are high. Which got me thinking about perfectionism.

Are you a perfectionist? Is it a typical SJ trait? Are you crazy about it in some aspects of your life and not in others? Do you think this is a good thing or bad? Has it been a hindrance at times?

What are your thoughts on this?

Thanks.
 

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
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I don't know if I'm a very big perfectionist, but I know that my SJ brother is. He's always been a perfectionist. When he was in elementary school, one of his teachers suggested that he should get psychiatric help. She was a bit of a weirdo herself, imo.
 

Snow Turtle

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No idea whether there's a correlation between MBTI and perfectionism but I do find that Js tend to be more prone to becoming perfectionistic. I'm going to assume this is because of the whole Si - Impression of the correct method or Ni - Vision of how things could be. Eitherway both have some internal idea of something that they live up to...

Back to the main question. I'm a huge perfectionistic, but only to myself. I want to do the best I can if I'm going to do something, and I get discouraged when I don't perform well.

The silly thing is that while I'm a perfectionistic, I'm also a procrastinator. From my perspective: Perfectionism can be taken too far and end up paralysing someone, so I'm inclined to say that it can be a very bad thing.
 

Eiddy

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Kai, I have that problem too. Although I don't see procrastinating any where near paralyzing. So I have used that in interviews when they ask for my 3 weak points. I am a perfectionist. I want the job done 110%. Good never cuts it; however if I become overwhelmed then I tend to procrastinate or gather information until the best solution appears..

So well it is a negative, it can be a positive factor too. After all who wants a half-assed job done, right?
 

WickedQueen

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I'll have to take the perfectionist test to figure it out.
 

EJCC

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No idea whether there's a correlation between MBTI and perfectionism but I do find that Js tend to be more prone to becoming perfectionistic.
Hard to say. I think, in some ways, the NTPs that I know are much more perfectionistic than I am, or than the other Js I know are.
Back to the main question. I'm a huge perfectionistic, but only to myself. I want to do the best I can if I'm going to do something, and I get discouraged when I don't perform well.
Me too! I'll rant about how I didn't do well at something, and sometimes people get mildly offended because they didn't do well either, and I don't mean to offend them because I'm only holding that standard to myself.

The silly thing is that while I'm a perfectionistic, I'm also a procrastinator. From my perspective: Perfectionism can be taken too far and end up paralysing someone, so I'm inclined to say that it can be a very bad thing.
Speaking of perfectionism paralyzing you... I read something a while ago that said that perfectionists have messier living environments because they see little to no difference between a small mess and a big mess, so they just let the whole place go.
 

Saslou

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I am a perfectionist. Speaking to my psychologist (its ok, i am not crazy (yet)) i have realised to some degree that it did damage to my past relationship (i think anyway, could just be giving myself a hard time). I have always had to give 110%, its not that i need recognition from others, like Eiddy said, why do a half assed job. I am now however aware i need to lower my expectations of myself to enjoy life better.

I have to work on my warped thinking process as in some areas i like things a particular way, yet in other areas where i know i have weaknesses, i really don't give a damn (example my grammar).

I just think it is sad that i can beat myself up so much because i feel i had fallen short of my expectations, yet the job i did in the first place, wasn't that bad. *sigh*. Interesting.


When he was in elementary school, one of his teachers suggested that he should get psychiatric help. She was a bit of a weirdo herself, imo.

:yim_rolling_on_the_

No idea whether there's a correlation between MBTI and perfectionism but I do find that Js tend to be more prone to becoming perfectionistic. I'm going to assume this is because of the whole Si - Impression of the correct method or Ni - Vision of how things could be. Eitherway both have some internal idea of something that they live up to...

Interesting to know, thanks.

Speaking of perfectionism paralyzing you... I read something a while ago that said that perfectionists have messier living environments because they see little to no difference between a small mess and a big mess, so they just let the whole place go.

That's good news then for me. I have learnt to let things go. The washing up doesn't need to be done immediately after eating food. If i don't hoover up for a day, its no big deal.
 

wrldisquiethere

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With myself, yes. It's something I have to work hard to try to balance, because it can easily be debilitating.
 

Giggly

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Yeah, but not so much in my relationships with people. I do it a lot with tasks I'm performing or projects I'm involved with.
 

JocktheMotie

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I would not really say it's perfectionism, but things do have to be perfectly aligned to expectations. Mine is this way, which is nice yet difficult at the same time. I like knowing what she expects, I have tangible benchmarks in which to show appreciation, apology, etc however if something is not met to satisfaction it becomes difficult for her to see past it and let herself "go."

New situations, uncertain situations that have high chances of unexpected outcome, make her uneasy whereas for me I have no problems with them.
 

Shadow

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I'm pretty much a certified perfectionist. My personal tutor at uni told me I was too perfectionist and that it was why I was always so stressed - and she was hardly a trained counsellor. Actually at one point I was feeling low enough to see a trained counsellor and she told me my problem (in a nutshell) was my perfectionism, and not thinking other people could do things to the right standards so taking on too much myself. It really helped.
Not all bad though; one of the reasons I got my job was because they could see I was a perfectionist! They told me that!
 

Shadow

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Yeah, but not so much in my relationships with people. I do it a lot with tasks I'm performing or projects I'm involved with.

Same. I think that's my 'failure', if you like. Relationships with people is now a 'task' I'm focusing on.
 

Eiddy

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I'm pretty much a certified perfectionist. My personal tutor at uni told me I was too perfectionist and that it was why I was always so stressed - and she was hardly a trained counsellor. Actually at one point I was feeling low enough to see a trained counsellor and she told me my problem (in a nutshell) was my perfectionism, and not thinking other people could do things to the right standards so taking on too much myself. It really helped.
Not all bad though; one of the reasons I got my job was because they could see I was a perfectionist! They told me that!

Exactly that is why I would use it as a fault because it is a good fault, just try not to be stressed with doing or taking on too much. I about had a nervous breakdown because of it. Since then I have had to learn to lighten up.
 

Shadow

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Exactly that is why I would use it as a fault because it is a good fault, just try not to be stressed with doing or taking on too much. I about had a nervous breakdown because of it. Since then I have had to learn to lighten up.

:( I'm glad you're okay now. How long ago? How did you know what was going on and that you had to chill out?
I think I was getting close to breaking point during my finals. I literally couldn't stop working! My dad's forever telling me not to work so hard in case I have a nervous breakdown.
Perhaps this is what is known as 'being anal'.
 

NewEra

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I guess I have an unintentionally perfectionist vision for myself. It's not exactly a perfectionist view though, because I don't want to be perfect in everything. I just want to be above average in everything lol.
 

Saslou

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:( I'm glad you're okay now. How long ago? How did you know what was going on and that you had to chill out?
I think I was getting close to breaking point during my finals. I literally couldn't stop working! My dad's forever telling me not to work so hard in case I have a nervous breakdown.
Perhaps this is what is known as 'being anal'.

Being anal .. Been there done that (and not in a sexual way). I don't know if its a case of your your stress level getting so high, that it becomes fight or flight. I suppose its at those moments when you have to reassess your thinking.
For all the shit i have been through, i am so grateful to be in THIS place right now. I suppose i could go as far as self prophesying as i always said when i was younger that i couldn't wait to turn 30 as then i would calm down and chill. I did that, just wasn't expecting it to be done in the way it was. Still pretty cool though. Small blessings in disguise. :blush:
 

Snow Turtle

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Sounds like most people here have had reasonably OKish experiences with perfectionism, or at least it's been utilised to your advantange. My ISTJ mother utilises perfectionism to her advantange, she's constantly pushing herself forward but stresses the hell out of herself.

On the other hand I err... sort of let perfectionism get the better of me. It's what I meant by paralysation. My procrastination comes from the fact that I can't do things perfectly, so I don't try or give up before I began.

People say that perfectionists can end up performing much worse than than their normal peers depending on how it manifests itself.
 

KarenParker

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I'm an ESFP and I'm a perfectionist. I get in this mindset where I set really hard to reach goals and have to do them perfectly. I've been working on it, but old habits die hard.
 

Saslou

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I'm an ESFP and I'm a perfectionist. I get in this mindset where I set really hard to reach goals and have to do them perfectly. I've been working on it, but old habits die hard.

Awww. Yep, your right, old habits die hard. But everything in baby steps i say. ;)

I think because i dont have a plan in life. When opportunities arise, i will get what i want. I will start at the bottom of the ladder but DAMN SURE i will climb it. The word 'no' is not in my vocabulary.
 

PeaceBaby

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I'm an ESFP and I'm a perfectionist. I get in this mindset where I set really hard to reach goals and have to do them perfectly. I've been working on it, but old habits die hard.

My ESFP son is like this - he can't even start working on the goals sometimes because he seems to expect that everything be perfect the first time he does or tries anything.
 
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