• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
I have an ESTJ 1w2 father and we really can't seem to agree on anything... What would you say are some of the biggest differences between you and some of the ESFJs you know? Particularly in the way you view things like politics and various humanitarian issues?
I haven't noticed a difference regarding politics/etc -- besides the obvious, i.e. that ESTJs are much more detached and cold about it when they describe their motivations for their political beliefs* -- but in terms of general differences? The major difference I've noticed, IME, is that ESFJs seem to be very calculated with their emotional decisions, whereas ESTJs are so terrible at that, that they end up barely handling them (or handling them childishly), if at all. Because chaos is antithetical to how ESTJs usually live their lives, it's frustrating beyond belief that they usually experience their emotions as a chaotic mess -- so, better to avoid getting overwhelmed by stuffing all that junk into the closet, shutting the door, and pretending like nothing's in there.

Are your disagreements with your dad generally on philosophical things (e.g. politics)? Or is it more personal? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to)


*notable exception being when they show their Fi marshmallow center (if you're so lucky... or something)
 

Showbread

climb on
Joined
Oct 3, 2013
Messages
2,298
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Are your disagreements with your dad generally on philosophical things (e.g. politics)? Or is it more personal? (You don't have to answer if you don't want to)

I suppose mostly philosophical, particularly politics, and what is "fair" for lack of a better word. He just seems to lack the ability to see any given issue from any perspective other than his own. *I was talking about a friend of mine who has recently come out as gay and he kept asking questions like "But why is she gay?" "Is it because she doesn't get a long with her dad?"

He just could not wrap his mind around the idea that just maybe, some people experience life and sexuality differently than he does. It's almost like if he doesn't understand it, it's wrong, or not real.

* Side note, I fully support my friend and love her very much. If anything we've gotten closer since she shared this with me. I don't share my dad's opinion on the subject at all. It was just an example that came to mind.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
It's almost like if he doesn't understand it, it's wrong, or not real.
That's pretty close to how it feels from our end. I get the impression that this isn't universal, and that only a particular sort of ESTJ feels this(?), but when I'm in a situation like that, it REALLY bothers me to not be able to understand. It's like: "I've got to be missing something. There's no way this is as stupid as it looks." It's a combination between frustration at that apparent stupidity/ridiculosity/what have you, frustration at your inability to understand, and sometimes frustration at the other party for "not explaining well enough". Clearly your dad is like me in this regard: If he didn't want to learn, and to understand, he wouldn't be asking you questions. I know it's frustrating, but at the same time, he appears to still be humble, balanced, and objective (based on what you've told me).

(I frel your pain, by the way. Been trying to work on my parents' anti-Muslim and anti-Catholic positions for a while now.)
 

Showbread

climb on
Joined
Oct 3, 2013
Messages
2,298
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Enneagram
3w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
That's pretty close to how it feels from our end. I get the impression that this isn't universal, and that only a particular sort of ESTJ feels this(?), but when I'm in a situation like that, it REALLY bothers me to not be able to understand. It's like: "I've got to be missing something. There's no way this is as stupid as it looks." It's a combination between frustration at that apparent stupidity/ridiculosity/what have you, frustration at your inability to understand, and sometimes frustration at the other party for "not explaining well enough". Clearly your dad is like me in this regard: If he didn't want to learn, and to understand, he wouldn't be asking you questions. I know it's frustrating, but at the same time, he appears to still be humble, balanced, and objective (based on what you've told me).

(I frel your pain, by the way. Been trying to work on my parents' anti-Muslim and anti-Catholic positions for a while now.)

Maybe a little bit too objective at times. :laugh:
 

five sounds

MyPeeSmellsLikeCoffee247
Joined
Jul 17, 2013
Messages
5,393
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
729
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
How do you feel about people who don't have a career plan or secure job?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Sorry I missed this, [MENTION=18819]five sounds[/MENTION]!!!
How do you feel about people who don't have a career plan or secure job?
I think what would matter more to me would be whether the person is realizing their full potential. So I would see people without career plans and secure jobs as falling somewhere on a scale of 1 (realizing it, using their skills) and 10 (slacking).

With the exception of people who have been screwed over by the economy:
Due to the economy, that describes virtually everyone I know.
^
 

ColonelGadaafi

New member
Joined
Oct 10, 2008
Messages
773
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
Si
Do you like me... feel annoyed when people formulate things wrong or can't think clearly?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Do you like me... feel annoyed when people formulate things wrong or can't think clearly?
Not generally. It only bothers me when I'm trying to do something quickly, and their lack of clarity is getting in my way.

It actually bothers me more when other people are snippy with them, because it's not a pet peeve of mine. Why not be patient? Why not cut them a little slack? I know INTx folks who are snippy like that, and it strikes me as unnecessary, unproductive, and rude.
 

OptoGypsy

Member
Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
703
MBTI Type
isfp
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Are all ESTJs so uptight that if I was to put coal in their ass it would turn into diamonds? - P.S I know that diamonds don't come from coal.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Are all ESTJs so uptight that if I was to put coal in their ass it would turn into diamonds? - P.S I know that diamonds don't come from coal.
Well if you already know the answer to your own question, then why are you here? ;)



...Seriously though, no, we aren't all like that. I don't think I'm like that. I can be fun and relaxed.
 

OptoGypsy

Member
Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
703
MBTI Type
isfp
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
How relevant would you say South Park is in your life from a scale of 1 to 10?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
How relevant would you say South Park is in your life from a scale of 1 to 10?
2, because it's set in the Rockies and I can do a pretty good Cartman impersonation. Why?
 

OptoGypsy

Member
Joined
Dec 13, 2013
Messages
703
MBTI Type
isfp
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
2, because it's set in the Rockies and I can do a pretty good Cartman impersonation. Why?
People that enjoy South Park tend to be the people that are fun to be around
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Ok I thought I remembered that a forum member I like and respect recently posted a question here, but I came back to find it and it isn't here anymore? Was I imagining things? :/
 

SD45T-2

Senior Jr.
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
4,229
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w2
Instinctual Variant
so/sp
Ok I thought I remembered that a forum member I like and respect recently posted a question here, but I came back to find it and it isn't here anymore? Was I imagining things? :/
It was xena, IIRC.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
^ Ah, thanks!
[MENTION=14594]xenaprincess[/MENTION], if you still wanted an answer to your question, feel free. If not, that's fine too
 

Odi et Amo

To here knows when...
Joined
Dec 18, 2013
Messages
143
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
My younger brother is a 1w2 sx ESTJ and has a sardonic, deadpan sarcasm (and I mean DEADPAN) that people cannot seem to detect. He is incredibly bright and can just crucify people without their knowing it. Do you ever have issues with humor that people can't pick up on?
 
Top