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[ESTJ] Ask an ESTJ!

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
Yeah I have definitley met this type of ESTJ more than once! ----> :puppy_dog_eyes:

Then of course, I can't say no. So I end up being pissed and doing whatever it is she WANTS (usually not "needs") to be done and there aren't any rewards for doing it. :rolli:

Why can't you say "no?" I do all the time. I've trained her, so that everytime she uses "because" as a justification for her reasoning, she knows she's already lost.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Yeah, but then you get the backlashes. Well, I do anyway. :rolli: And I would rather just do it so I do not have to listen to the whining. (But this is my tactic for a girl who is not related to me nor girlfriend material. ;))
 

runvardh

にゃん
Joined
Jun 23, 2007
Messages
8,541
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I'm still difficult with those kinds of women, mostly because I'm good at listing all the things I am busy with at the moment and she can take it up with someone more important if she doesn't like it. Gets me out of that every time. :D
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Jeez! I really, REALLY hope I'm not like this. If there's one thing that I DON'T want to be (besides a liar/cheat), it's a whiner/manipulator. But maybe I am? Hm.

Outer reaction to the idea that I'm like that:
If I do act like that... I'm really sorry. Seriously. I know people who do stuff like that, and it pisses me off too.

Inner reaction:
:eek: :cry::doh:
 

professor goodstain

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2009
Messages
1,785
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7~7
Jeez! I really, REALLY hope I'm not like this.

No. Not even close. Next thing ya know...the ESTJs will have to lobby for hate crimes laws to the bill writers of Type/c. Then, the xNxxs will appeal to the courts with an arguement of equal fairness for the other 15. Could even become an ESTJ civil rights issue. It is starting to appear that you are getting asked to the back of the bus by the majority in this entity:)
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Well, this is the internet. Things are very different here. You aren't risking as much when you discuss your emotions. You don't have to see their facial expressions or anything.

Additional note: When I'm in a weird/bad/tired/stressed mood, and I start overanalyzing things/myself too much, that smiley timeline goes more like this:
:eek: :cry::doh::cry::doh::cry::doh::cry: etc. etc. etc.
Not that I'll show that to anyone.

Behold, the inner thoughts of the ESTJ! Be amazed!!
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Additional note: When I'm in a weird/bad/tired/stressed mood, and I start overanalyzing things/myself too much, that smiley timeline goes more like this:
:eek: :cry::doh::cry::doh::cry::doh::cry: etc. etc. etc.
Not that I'll show that to anyone.

Isn't the typical way girls feel, I mean, girls of any type? :huh:
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Lol, yeah, probably.
I keep forgetting that being a girl has anything to do with anything... if that makes sense. And I'd rather that it didn't! But it does.
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
What??? :confused:
Who didn't I answer?
 

alcea rosea

New member
Joined
Nov 11, 2007
Messages
3,658
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
1. Prove to them logically that your method works too. Argue your case. That should get 'em off your back (if they're healthy, that is, and care more about the job than about their own power).
2. Do you mean, "how do you show an ESTJ" or "how does an ESTJ show"?
3. Do you mean, like, in a domestic situation? If you do... then what would need to happen is a bit of a heart-to-heart with them in private. Very direct, but not accusatory. (Also, better to do this when they're in a good mood, so they don't take it really personally. They still might get a little upset, but I think that's probably typical.)

Good answesr, again, thanks! :)

1. I think I won't be too good in arguing with ESTJ.... I generally don't like arguing with anybody...
2. I mean: How do you show an ESTJ...?
3. Yes, domestic. Very direct is very difficult for me. I think ENFP-ESTJ relationship in the real life is very difficult because we are very different. I can only be direct when angry and then they'll be offended, I think. And it simply won't work I guess....:(
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Post #193 but its ok. I never expected to be part of your little party here... have fun you all :cry:
 

ChocolateMoose123

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2008
Messages
5,278
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Well, this is the internet. Things are very different here. You aren't risking as much when you discuss your emotions. You don't have to see their facial expressions or anything.

Additional note: When I'm in a weird/bad/tired/stressed mood, and I start overanalyzing things/myself too much, that smiley timeline goes more like this:
:eek: :cry::doh::cry::doh::cry::doh::cry: etc. etc. etc.
Not that I'll show that to anyone.

Behold, the inner thoughts of the ESTJ! Be amazed!!

Don't feel bad/weird/tired/stressed...keep in mind we are talking about other ESTJ's that may or may not be as in touch with their emotions as you...and may not be as unselfish. But also, everyone has faults and even though ESTJ may have these traits I still wouldn't give up my friendship with my ESTJ for anything! (Believe me, it's been tested!!) I wuv's yous guys :hug:
 

Amira

New member
Joined
Dec 18, 2008
Messages
199
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Lol, yeah, probably.
I keep forgetting that being a girl has anything to do with anything... if that makes sense. And I'd rather that it didn't! But it does.

:woot: :cheers: :yim_rolling_on_the_ How come I never meet any XSTJ girls IRL?! I feel so alone! Tee hee.

Poor entropie *pats on head*
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Lol, yeah, probably.
I keep forgetting that being a girl has anything to do with anything... if that makes sense. And I'd rather that it didn't! But it does.

Are you implying that you would rather be a guy? :huh: :shock:
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Crap! Sorry entropie! I'll answer it right now:
Why are people in general so stubborn and so less open for different opinions on reality ?
When people believe certain things about reality, it's usually a very personal thing - like religion, almost. So when it's challenged, they won't be as logical as they might have been with other topics.

No. Not even close. Next thing ya know...the ESTJs will have to lobby for hate crimes laws to the bill writers of Type/c. Then, the xNxxs will appeal to the courts with an arguement of equal fairness for the other 15. Could even become an ESTJ civil rights issue. It is starting to appear that you are getting asked to the back of the bus by the majority in this entity:)
Nah, not really. I used to feel like that (it's the reason why I joined TypeC in the first place), but the vast majority of people here are interested in what the ESTJs have to say. And for those who aren't... I can only hope that the prescence of me and WickedQueen and others will prove them wrong.

:woot: :cheers: :yim_rolling_on_the_ How come I never meet any XSTJ girls IRL?! I feel so alone! Tee hee.
You understand what I meant??? :happy: Thank you!! :hug:
YES! Power to the xSTJ women! Who... don't think much about... their... woman-ness... yeah. LOL.
But seriously. I second all those smileys.

1. I think I won't be too good in arguing with ESTJ.... I generally don't like arguing with anybody...
Well... maybe I don't mean "arguing". I just mean... explain your viewpoint as best you can. If they ask you questions like "but what about this?", then answer. I dunno if that's really "arguing". It's just a back-and-forth. You know how ESTJs think out loud.

2. I mean: How do you show an ESTJ...?
OK... well, you can probably tell them directly what's appreciated (as long as you're in private). But with regard to what's not appreciated... I guess that you could tell them that in private, too. You're an ENFP, so I don't need to tell you how to approach it - you guys are better at this sort of thing than I could ever hope to be. They won't enjoy it, but it's better than all the other options I can think of. Just... whatever you do... DON'T tell them something bad about them in front of other people who could overhear. They'll hate you for it.

3. Yes, domestic. Very direct is very difficult for me. I think ENFP-ESTJ relationship in the real life is very difficult because we are very different. I can only be direct when angry and then they'll be offended, I think. And it simply won't work I guess....:(
No, no! Don't give up yet! It can work.
I think what I meant by "direct" was that... you shouldn't try to send them small, indirect messages about it. We aren't very subtle people, usually, so they might not get the message. Just... tell them how you've been feeling. And like I said before, I trust you to go about that in a tactful, kind way. I like ENFPs (I dunno if other ESTJs do, but I do), and I know that they almost always mean well, so I think that ESTJs would be more likely to understand that you're not trying to insult them, than they would be if another type was telling them that.

Are you implying that you would rather be a guy? :huh: :shock:
I think this is the second time you've misinterpreted what I said into meaning that I want to be a man, d@v3. :D I guess I understand what you mean... it's a weird thing. I'm fine being a girl. I'd be okay being a guy, but I like being a girl. I won't go into the reasons why it would suck to be a guy, because some of those reasons are... anatomical.
But anyways, what I meant by that was that I would hope that the way I act is how a PERSON would act. Not necessarily a woman. I would LIKE to think that all ESTJs think very similarly, regardless of gender. And it sucks to remember that, yes, women tend to be more emotional, and yes, they tend to act and think differently. But I wish that wasn't true.
It's not wanting to be a guy. It's wanting gender to not be an issue.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Crap! Sorry entropie! I'll answer it right now:

When people believe certain things about reality, it's usually a very personal thing - like religion, almost. So when it's challenged, they won't be as logical as they might have been with other topics.

So you think when a person believes that in the nazi regime for example back in those days, Hitler is gonna be her/his saviour and she/he really believes it out of her/his heart, I should respect her/his feelings and not tell her/him what I think ?
 

EJCC

The Devil of TypoC
Joined
Aug 29, 2008
Messages
19,129
MBTI Type
ESTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
So you think when a person believes that in the nazi regime for example back in those days, Hitler is gonna be her/his saviour and she/he really believes it out of her/his heart, I should respect her/his feelings and not tell her/him what I think ?
Oh, you can tell them. Feel free! But they'll probably yell at you and promptly ignore everything you said, whether it's logical or not.
Disturbing, deeply held beliefs like that are what de-programming is for :) I believe they've started doing that with former al-Quaeda members, somewhere in Saudi Arabia. Heard about it in a news podcast.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Oh, you can tell them. Feel free! But they'll probably yell at you and promptly ignore everything you said, whether it's logical or not.
Disturbing, deeply held beliefs like that are what de-programming is for :) I believe they've started doing that with former al-Quaeda members, somewhere in Saudi Arabia. Heard about it in a news podcast.

Well I didnt want to pick on you and I see from your fast responses that you maybe not comfortable with me being here. I was just trieing to find out how humane a real estj is, cause I thought myself a long time I could be one and I hadnt got much of a chance besides some people to get to know one.

Just wanted to find out, if you actually think for yourself or just play a recording and I think I did.

My conclusion: Some people will always play a recording, no matter what their type is, can be all of the 16.
 
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