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[SJ] SJ's as complainers.

Saslou

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So i am currenly reading a very interesting book which was recommended by someone from this site.

'Survival games personalities play'.

Its about the games we play in life in order to survive.

We SJ's play the Complain game apparantly.
The six variants are invalid, worried, doormat, poor me, depressed and nag.

Invalid - Complaining of real aches and pains.

Worried - plagued with terrible worries and fears of bad things that may happen.

Doormat - Allowing themselves to be stepped on by others while behaving as lowly servants.

Poor me - complain loudly and often about put upon they are.

Depressed - filled with sadness, everythings dark and dreary with no hope.

Nag - Harps on others what they should and should not be feeling, thinking and/or doing.

This book also looks at the other 3 types, NT, SP and NF's so they have their own problems as well.

I was just curious though, Can you relate to the above?
 

Saslou

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I do see how in my time i have used each of those to 'survive' but i wouldn't say to extremes.

Invalid - I used to joke all the time that i was a hypocondriac, it was more in jest though.

Worried - My children when they were younger. I always worried about them.

Doormat - Big time when it comes to relationships, I put up with crap that i shouldn't. My best friend yesterday took the piss, i am not happy. I will not do it again especially because i now know that people keep on taking the piss out of me.

Poor me- This is what i find funny. I dont look for sympathy when i have problems, usually i dont want to tell anyone. When i do, it doesn't feel like a 'poor me', i just find expressing myself and hearing it out loud, well it puts things into perspective for me. *shrugs*.

Depressed - I think this comes down to situations more than anything else. I have been depressed a few times in the past and even been given medication for it. Both times however, i stopped taking them. When you hit the bottom, its only you who can climb back up.

Do i see myself as a complainer?

Well it looks like i am complaining now doesn't it, lol. I just express how i feel instead of keeping it in. I don't think it is a bad thing.

:)
 

jenocyde

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This is interesting Saslou. Would you mind posting the games of the other types, as well?

I don't know about all of these, as I am not an SJ. But I can say with certainty that the ESTJs in my life use the Poor Me quite a bit. Very funny stuff!!

For instance, I have a friend with a lot of roommates. She loves to be home looking for little things to fix. If a picture is a bit crooked, she fixes it with a sigh. If a roommate even leaves a glass in the sink, all you hear about is how everyone leaves all the housework to her. How no one does anything around the house. How she has to do everything... It's hilarious!! (well, only because I don't live with her...) We all used to look at her like she was insane, but now I realize that she actually likes being "needed" to do the little things and maybe just wants a thank you? I don't know.
 

Cimarron

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I don't know, I guess I complain a lot when under stress. And my friends know it, so I use that as a joke sometimes. But I also complain seriously.

I'm a whiner.
 

heart

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This is interesting Saslou. Would you mind posting the games of the other types, as well?

I found this online when I was thinking about purchasing the book.

Go half way down this page and someone already did all the work and typed out all the information about the different types.

...
 

PeaceBaby

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We all used to look at her like she was insane, but now I realize that she actually likes being "needed" to do the little things and maybe just wants a thank you? I don't know.

I'm thread-stalking you it seems jenocyde! :devil:

I agree with the desire to get a "thank-you". SJ's certainly do like to be appreciated for the tasks they perform. So I do try to notice and say thanks a lot myself, since I have quite a number of them in my life.

I think that completing little chores is an SJ's way of saying "I love you"...
 

/DG/

silentigata ano (profile)
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Oh, I tend to complain a lot. Plus, in real life, I don't have very much to say and complaining helps me to make conversation.
 

jenocyde

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I found this online when I was thinking about purchasing the book.

Thanks!!

I'm thread-stalking you it seems jenocyde! :devil:

I agree with the desire to get a "thank-you". SJ's certainly do like to be appreciated for the tasks they perform. So I do try to notice and say thanks a lot myself, since I have quite a number of them in my life.

I think that completing little chores is an SJ's way of saying "I love you"...

Haha. I don't mind being watched!

Yeah, I try to thank them as much as possible. But it's hard to thank someone for doing something I don't care about and didn't request... ah well, everyone has their thing. I'm no walk in the park, either.

Oh, I tend to complain a lot. Plus, in real life, I don't have very much to say and complaining helps me to make conversation.

It is nice to see this honesty.
But how does this help you make conversation?


EDIT: Wow, I see a bunch of that rational stuff in me. *scary*
 

PeaceBaby

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I just looked at that too - thanks heart for posting. Read it out to my SJ hubby. We laughed at the Nag / Poor Me Game (so true!) - then my games too, some home truths there (look at me, what a martyr) LOL.

Although I can READ MINDS - historically proven to be accurate. I may not always know exactly what is going on, but I know when something is going on ...
 

Athenian200

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It looks like I play all the SJ and NT games, two of the SP games rarely (Empty and Outrage), and one of the NF games (Mind reader).

Weird. It looks like it didn't work so well for me...
 

BlackCat

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The SJs I know will whine or complain about something just to start a conversation. If it's just joking around then I'm fine with it, but if it's constant then I will start to get very annoyed. If they whine and don't make any hints of resolving it then I will get very annoyed, and I'll think "why the hell did they even bring it up if they're just going to be lazy about their problems?"

But it doesn't happen all that often, it seems like the really bad and annoying complaining happens when an SJ is stressed or has something bothering them.
 

Recoleta

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+1 Blackcat, that seems to be how I complain. I usually do it in a joking or self-deprecating manner. And yeah, on occasion I'll use it to start conversations. I think the only people who really see me complain are very close friends or family.

To a certain extent, I can relate to all the "complaining types" that saslou mentioned in the OP except the depression one...I think I generally have a positive outlook on life.
 

illume

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My ISFJ friend sent me an e-mail the other day as a conversation starter listing all of the ailments he had suffered from since the first of the year. Now he goes on to say he has poison ivy::violin:....I guess he wanted tea and sympathy from me. I was underwhelmed. I am so used to hearing this sort of thing from him that I just tune it out. Needless to say, it failed to start a conversation.
 

JocktheMotie

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There is probably some truth to this. My SJ never stops complaining. Ever. I am immune. I really don't even notice it anymore and has led to me developing such formidable patience, it's like a secret weapon.

Actually, I can usually get a good barometer of our relationship by analyzing what she is complaining about. Like the other day, she complained for a solid 30 minutes about how far away I live [it's 15 minutes, MAX]. She put on a show. It isn't fair, think of the miles on my car, gas expense, I'm not doing this all summer, why can't you live closer, etc. However I offered to pick her up instead, I don't mind, it's not really that big of a deal. Nope, wouldn't have it.

Though I guess if the only thing she is complaining about is the 15 minute drive to my house I must be doing a pretty good job so I don't really worry about it.
 

jenocyde

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Though I guess if the only thing she is complaining about is the 15 minute drive to my house I must be doing a pretty good job so I don't really worry about it.

Sounds like she wants you to ask her to move in together. But I am no good at this type of stuff, so don't take my word for it.
 

JocktheMotie

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Sounds like she wants you to ask her to move in together. But I am no good at this type of stuff, so don't take my word for it.

I bring this up constantly but she says it'd be a waste of money to rent [kinda agree, I'd rather freeload until I can buy] and whenever I bring up alternatives she just gets mad. She just wants to complain because she had a bad week or is bored. I just think it's funny. She came over that night anyways and I offered to carry her from her car to inside the house because the drive over must have been so tiring, I thought she was going to blow a gasket, she got so mad! It was adorable :wubbie:
 
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