[MBTI General] How can an INFJ win an ESFJ's heart?

[Queen Kat]

Yes, he likes her. In a friendly kind of way, h doesn't flirt with her and he has other girlfriends quite frequently. So what can the INFJ do about it?

 

[MissxMassacre]

Hi everyone :hi:

I assume I'm the INFJ in this story. I'm still totally crazy about this ESFJ guy and I'm totally hopeless about this situation, but I don't give up hope since I want to do something in return to him but first I need to get in contact with him again and I absolutely have no idea how/why. Help would be very welcome.

 

[Udog]

Welcome!

Do you have his phone number / email / address? What's keeping you from just calling or writing and reopening the communication channel?

I don't know about this situation, though... things turned pretty ugly for my INFJ friend that dated a guy whose friends didn't like her. The good news: She did successfully manage to win him over enough that he chose her over his friends. The bad news: it then turned into 6+ months of drama, vandalism, threats on her life, etc. I don't know how it turned out, but they both ended up moving to a different city and I lost contact with her.

Apparently, asshole friends aren't afraid to be assholes to people that they feel betrayed them, even old friends.

I guess if I was a good person, I wouldn't even post this reply, because this isn't very supportive nor is it what you want to hear. However, I guess it's important for you to know that winning this guy over, which may or may not be easy for you, will be just the beginning. How far are you willing to take this with him?

 

[MissxMassacre]

Thanks for the welcome.

Man that's pretty bad for your friend, really. I feel sorry for her. Don't worry, it's okay, it's good to see how things also can turn out.

I don't want to win him over as lover I think, it's pretty confusing. First of all I just need to get the courage to actually to start having contact again, and do something in return and we'll see what happens then.

I have his cellphone number as well for his email. I used to have his address, but I lost it. We've talked before his gradutation ceremony twice on MSN Messenger, after his gradutation ceremony, I never had a conversation anymore. I'm online when he's offline, and probably the same backwards, he's online when I'm offline.

 

[Snow Turtle]

Thanks for the welcome.

Man that's pretty bad for your friend, really. I feel sorry for her. Don't worry, it's okay, it's good to see how things also can turn out.

I don't want to win him over as lover I think, it's pretty confusing. First of all I just need to get the courage to actually to start having contact again, and do something in return and we'll see what happens then.

I have his cellphone number as well for his email. I used to have his address, but I lost it. We've talked before his gradutation ceremony twice on MSN Messenger, after his gradutation ceremony, I never had a conversation anymore. I'm online when he's offline, and probably the same backwards, he's online when I'm offline.

Would it be wrong of me to suggest facebook?
That life sucking tool of a social medium.

 

[MissxMassacre]

No it's not wrong at all, actually I didn't think of such profilewebsite, thanks!

I just decided I'll burn a CD with songs that make me think of him and leave a note with my email.

 

[MissxMassacre]

I've been online for the entire day now (since he seems to be online around the day while I'm online during the night) but he hasn't shown up yet. I kinda start to worry about him...

 

[A Schnitzel]

Regardless whether they get together or not she has to get over her saviour idealism. It's not a good foundation for a healthy relationship.

 

[MissxMassacre]

But if I just want to be friends, is it still a problem?

 

[A Schnitzel]

This guy is just a guy. He might be a nice guy. An upstanding human being even. But he's only human. If he's not giving you a lot of attention it's either because he doesn't care as much as you do or he feels pressured because you're putting him on a pedestal. Putting someone on a pedestal isn't being very nice to the person and can creep a guy out (I know).

 

[Queen Kat]

Does anybody have any USEFUL solutions? If MissxMassacre could forget him or if she had the courage to ask him out, she would have already done that a long time ago. And no, getting ridd of that "savior idealism" *yawn* is NOT an option. That's just stupid. Damn!

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Does anybody have any USEFUL solutions? If MissxMassacre could forget him or if she had the courage to ask him out, she would have already done that a long time ago.

hmmmm. well that only leaves murder, no?

what do you want from us???????

 

[MissxMassacre]

I'd like to have useful advice instead of I need to forget him, I just can't. If I could, I already would have done that as soon I graduated.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

I'd like to have useful advice instead of I need to forget him, I just can't. If I could, I already would have done that as soon I graduated.

um, well, i guess you're saying my post isn't useful, so maybe you could read the other 30 posts and see if they are useful.......? maybe?

 

[Queen Kat]

They're not. Okay?

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

They're not. Okay?

hey, miss x, i think you should hook up with saint kar, unless you're related or something......there's a suggestion.

 

[Queen Kat]

wtf? I'm sorry, but I'm not a lesbian, thanks.

 

[MissxMassacre]

We're not gay, sorry. There's this saying, if you have nothing useful to say it's better to say nothing at all.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

We're not gay, sorry. There's this saying, if you have nothing useful to say it's better to say nothing at all.

ooooops. my bad. sorry. i saw the tiger and made an assumption. i really do wish you the best. i know how it is (as i said in an earlier post). you have to just make the leap, girl. if you can't, sit with it and ponder for a while. obviously, there is a lot of good advice here. it's not the advice that's lacking but something else. maybe you're just not ready.........ready for what? ready for knowing perhaps--one way or the other. limboland is, in it's own way, nicer than the real world for infj quite often.

blue pill, right?

 

[nozflubber]

hahaha..... it was useful to me! fuckin hilarious