[MBTI General] How can an INFJ win an ESFJ's heart?

[Snow Turtle]

What exactly do you expect?

1. Speak to the person.
2. Do nothing.

As much as I can sympathise with anxiety issues and social phobia. They shouldn't be used as an excuse to avoid the person. You guys are asking for the impossible?

Fine here's a third option.
Saint Kar go find out whether the ESFJ is interested, or speak on massacres behalf. But ultimately look at the bigger picture here. If you don't have the courage to speak to him, how exactly are you going to be in a relationship with each other? It took my INFJ friend three years to finally speak out about her feelings, but the point remains she did so in the end. There was no other way around it.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

hahaha..... it was useful to me! fuckin hilarious

thanx

 

[nozflubber]

well i'm glad that 5 mins wasn't totally wasted



thanx

anytime.... I consider it practice, for I plan to one day give purpose to the Determinist Atheist herself

 

[A Schnitzel]

Since you don't mind deifying this dude how about you build an altar to worship him. Sacrifice a pig in his name every saturday. If you can find them, goats work too. Then email him a picture of the altar ceremony. At first he'll probably think it's a joke and might be amused by your usage of humour (thinking your an easy going girl who can take a joke) enough to go out with you, but when he finds out you weren't joking you'll probably get a restraining order. So be it, the last thing you want to do is limit your free expression of love to him, especially when he doesn't know about it.

 

[Grungemouse]

What exactly do you expect?

1. Speak to the person.
2. Do nothing.

As much as I can sympathise with anxiety issues and social phobia. They shouldn't be used as an excuse to avoid the person. You guys are asking for the impossible?

Fine here's a third option.
Saint Kar go find out whether the ESFJ is interested, or speak on massacres behalf. But ultimately look at the bigger picture here. If you don't have the courage to speak to him, how exactly are you going to be in a relationship with each other? It took my INFJ friend three years to finally speak out about her feelings, but the point remains she did so in the end. There was no other way around it.

I don't think this can be stressed enough.

For the love of God, just do something constructive instead of moping around and expecting us to dispense anything other than realistic advice. Besides, you know him so well, why don't you make use of your own knowledge of him instead of his personality type? You might have even typed him wrong.

 

[AphroditeGoneAwry]

Since you don't mind deifying this dude how about you build an altar to worship him. Sacrifice a pig in his name every saturday. If you can find them, goats work too. Then email him a picture of the altar ceremony. At first he'll probably think it's a joke and might be amused by your usage of humour (thinking your an easy going girl who can take a joke) enough to go out with you, but when he finds out you weren't joking you'll probably get a restraining order. So be it, the last thing you want to do is limit your free expression of love to him, especially when he doesn't know about it.

hahahhahahahha. right on. how about a few pigs?

omg. am in really an infj? this is what happens when you live with an NT male for so long.

i might start a new thread about declaring celibacy from pork after viewing this pic. is this disgusting or what? poor piggies.............

 

[invaderzim]

Since you don't mind deifying this dude how about you build an altar to worship him. Sacrifice a pig in his name every saturday. If you can find them, goats work too. Then email him a picture of the altar ceremony. At first he'll probably think it's a joke and might be amused by your usage of humour (thinking your an easy going girl who can take a joke) enough to go out with you, but when he finds out you weren't joking you'll probably get a restraining order. So be it, the last thing you want to do is limit your free expression of love to him, especially when he doesn't know about it.

This is disgusting.
You're being a jerk and a bully. Chill, she's just asking for advice.

Anyways, you have five choices:
1. Do nothing and find someone else
2. Do nothing and keep over analyzing it
3. Say something about your feelings and risk rejection
4. Say something, succeed, and have to deal with his nutty friends
5. Keep in contact with him and see what happens in the future

There's not much advice beyond that. Just don't do an INFj emotional "dump" on him. I'd say just talk to him like any other person you want to understand. And don't idealize him too much. He might have "saved" you but he still hangs out with a certain crowd.
"You can judge a man's character by the company he keeps".

 

[d@v3]

^LOL @ the pigs!

But yeah, I was thinking you could write a short note to him explaining yourself. I mean, if it is hard to talk to him, notes are okay. I don't think he would mind. It didn't work for me but then again, it was a girl and she was an INFJ... I think. So that probably explains why.

I'm not sure what the note should say, but keep it short and to the point. You don't need to ramble on about your emotions in it, although it will probably be tempting. I guess the note should cover these two things:

1) Your "feelings" for him
2) Why you have those feelings

If nothing else, he will be complimented that he even got the note in the first place and it will probably turn his attention to you- at least to an extent more than it already is. It may take him a while to figure out how to respond though, so don't get impatient with him.