Are ISFJs very affectionate?

[maliafee]

I think the SJ's protectiveness is AMAZINGLY romantic. I'm smitten by one!

P.S. I like to ask my ISFJ what he would do if someone tried to kill me...

I think I am very loving. If I like you, than you will know about it. If I don't then you probably won't see me around very much or I might just keep my distance. I hate conflicts, life is too short for those games.

I consider my love for my husband as deeper than openingly passionate. It's more like an old elderly couple that have loved each other since they where high school sweet hearts. I rarely demand anything from anyone other than good behavior from my kids and hopefully students, adults well it's not my business.

If my husband is busy doing something I often will come up and give him a peck on the cheek. A bear hug every once in awhile. As for my kids I will give them a kiss on the cheek in public, a hug or walk with my arm around them. However it embarrasses my 15 year old, my 11 year old and 10 year old don't mind. My 3 year old is a bit rebellious it all depends on her mood. Mostly she would rather I carry her; depending on my energy level I usually don't mind.

We may not be the artistic romantic type however we guard, stand up and protect those under our care. Ultimately known as reliable and not given into pleasure seeking behaviors.

So it really depends on the type of affection you are asking about.

 

[maliafee]

From a data set of one, ISFJs can be quite affectionate in private. While physical touch is appreciated, they can really like verbal affirmation, and will provide this till you get the hint about returning it. They definitely thrive on it.

In public, I'd say that a little overt display can be appreciated, especially for the signals that it sends to others that she's taken, and that you're in charge. Beyond that may induce embarrassment.

Since they are likely to value traditional gender roles at least somewhat, ISFJ behavior may seem to be quite different for males.

This is true. My ISFJ is more apt to show people that I'm taken in public with his body language and he definitely wants to be the one to open the doors and ask for the table and sometimes I let him order food for me because he likes it... hahaha... It's funny because he's not openly overly-protective and has never asked for that stuff, I've just guessed all that about him but it works like a charm. I've also noticed that he finds pushing the grocery cart emasculating, so I take it off his hands if we go to the store and send him to find stuff; he loves it.

 

[Giggly]

I'm naturally very affectionate. I find myself having to hold back or curb it sometimes.

 

[Elfa]

I have an ISFJ friend who finds very difficult expressing her feelings towards someone she really cares about. She seems to have an easier time expressing to friends, but romantically she has been having some problems with that...

That's all I know, I'm no ISFJ.

 

[Unionruler]

Hahaha. True friends and above and selected good friends get hugs hello and good bye. Close friends get the longest hugs, snuggles and cuddles. Random pats here and there. "I love you"s qualified (e.g. as a friend, as a fellow child of God) and unqualified as appropriate.

If I want/need/am protective of someone I hold them a noticeable few seconds before letting go from a hug. I think it's not too difficult to tell. I hope it's nice being on the receiving end, would really like to try dating another ISFJ who shows affection like I do.

 

[wolfnara]

Maybe it depends on the individual? I use a lot of Fe but I dont think of myself as affectionate...

 

[Fun in the Sun]

I love sex. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.....

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

ISFJs can be very affectionate, but in general they will tend to be a little shy and sensitive to initially open up. Experience and imprinting from life can have a bigger impact on Si doms than average, so if they were raised in a home without affection, that will impact their relationship to it. For some, that could make them more distant because they are reproducing experience, but perhaps it could make other ISFJs consciously create a different dynamic because they learned from experience that they have needs that weren't met.

SFJs tend to express love in acts of service and help. They tend to be the best at knowing exactly what you need when you are sick, or finding the most perfect, personal gift, etc. They can make a living environment the most comfortable and peaceful in many cases. Most Fe-aux definitely need kindnesses and affection from a partner, but for the ISFJ, experience will play a greater role in defining the specifics of how the affection is communicated.

 

[Fun in the Sun]

ISFJs can be very affectionate, but in general they will tend to be a little shy and sensitive to initially open up. Experience and imprinting from life can have a bigger impact on Si doms than average, so if they were raised in a home without affection, that will impact their relationship to it. For some, that could make them more distant because they are reproducing experience, but perhaps it could make other ISFJs consciously create a different dynamic because they learned from experience that they have needs that weren't met.

SFJs tend to express love in acts of service and help. They tend to be the best at knowing exactly what you need when you are sick, or finding the most perfect, personal gift, etc. They can make a living environment the most comfortable and peaceful in many cases. Most Fe-aux definitely need kindnesses and affection from a partner, but for the ISFJ, experience will play a greater role in defining the specifics of how the affection is communicated.

You seem to have a good understanding of Si domes. Definitely shy and sensitive to those around me. I may be slow to warm up, but when I do I can be very affectionate. Intensely affectionate and sensual.

 

[Jem123]

Hi, I'm new to this site. I'm ISFJ .

I would say that I'm extremely affectionate with people I know really well. I don't want to ever make anyone uncomfortable so I am very careful about who and how I show this affection. I hug often and cuddle during movies. I hold hands. And I like sitting close to others on long car rides. I am also a massage therapist so I am constantly reaching out and massaging hands, shoulders and necks when I'm feeling generous. Which is pretty often. I'm not too big on pda but, I love linking my arm with someone else. With people I don't know as well, someone who isn't a close friend or family, I'm a lot more reserved. It's hard for me to understand whether or not they want me to do something like that.

My best advise if you would like an ISFJ to show their affectionate side is to be affectionate to them and encourage affectionate actions. Don't be weird about them taking your hand or cautiously playing with your hair. They're testing the waters and seeing if they can get closer to you.

 

[Dreamer]

Umm, not affectionate in the typical, hugs and jumps for joy over your presence sort of way. My two best friends are actually ISFJ, so I guess there's something to that personality type that drives me, an ENFP to them. But they are affectionate for sure. Usually it comes through doing favors for me without question, or offering emotional support if I need it. It's a different kind of support though, since I feel it's some weird hybrid between an NF and an NT. They can remove themselves from the situation and be objective about things, and they aren't empathetic to the point of an NF, but their guidance is undoubtedly heartfelt.

I'd say, at least with the ISFJs I've known for many years, they show their affection for you through action more than anything else. Sometimes, sure, I could use a bit more touchy feely so-to-speak, but hey, I like them!

 

[Fun in the Sun]

Hi, I'm new to this site. I'm ISFJ .

I would say that I'm extremely affectionate with people I know really well. I don't want to ever make anyone uncomfortable so I am very careful about who and how I show this affection. I hug often and cuddle during movies. I hold hands. And I like sitting close to others on long car rides. I am also a massage therapist so I am constantly reaching out and massaging hands, shoulders and necks when I'm feeling generous. Which is pretty often. I'm not too big on pda but, I love linking my arm with someone else. With people I don't know as well, someone who isn't a close friend or family, I'm a lot more reserved. It's hard for me to understand whether or not they want me to do something like that.

My best advise if you would like an ISFJ to show their affectionate side is to be affectionate to them and encourage affectionate actions. Don't be weird about them taking your hand or cautiously playing with your hair. They're testing the waters and seeing if they can get closer to you.

I used to want to be a massage therapist, but thought I would be weirded out massaging other men. Women have told me that I'm pretty good at it.

Yes, ISFJs are about the cuddles with loved ones. Not so much with people they don't know. I like holding hands, in public or private. Touching is very important.

 

[DistantMasks]

As an ISFJ with an ENTJ boyfriend, I can attest to the fact that I am very affectionate, I love to touch and be touched. Affection is very important to me. However, my love and craving for attention comes off (to him) as being overly clingy and needy. I understand his POV but at the same time, I feel like I'm showing him I love him by being close and affectionate.

As an ISFJ friend, yes I'm also affectionate, but I'm respective of other people's boundaries. Just by observing for a couple minutes, I can come to a conclusion of "oh, she needs a hug" or "she's very closed off. Better not."

Many times, my affection manifests itself in either gift-giving or by doing things for the other that they may not have time to do for themselves. I like surprising my friends with fresh-baked cookies or a little note with some cash inside. To me, it's the little things that can leave a lasting impact, but not everyone views it that way.

 

[inspiredpoet]

Well, I can't speak for everyone, but the ISFJs that I know are very caring, considerate, helpful, and strong. They are private, but once you get to know them they can be very affectionate.
I've noticed that my ISFJ friends show affection towards me by listening patiently, giving help and spending time with me, and giving a LOT of protection. They can also give very warm hugs.

This ISFJ guy once had a huge crush on me, and he would email me all the time to say really nice things, but would be too scared to say them to me in person. He gave me little gifts and offered to buy things for me (naturally I said 'oh no thank you' because I didn't want to take advantage of his kindness), and he would ask about my day all the time.
He was very protective and he tried to be strong for me when I was upset. He was a gentleman and was very polite to me; not flirty or full of superficial smooth-talk like some of the other guys I knew. He was very honest, and he didn't try to show off or act all cool.
He would stand up to the other guys when he thought they weren't treating me with enough respect, since he was very old-fashioned and believed in the whole 'knight in shining amour fights to win the heart of his lady' thing. I knew that was hard for him since he wasn't an outgoing person.
Overall, he was a really good guy.
But, I didn't realize that I felt the same thing for him as he felt for me, until after I moved out of town. Sadly.

He kinda reminded me of Captain America...not sure what the Cap's type is though. But anyway, what was the point again?

Oh yeah, yeah, ISFJs can be very affectionate people once you get to know them.

I think that if I was to have a relationship, I would want either another ISFJ or an ISFP, ISTJ, or an iNtuitive type, such as an INFJ, INTJ, or INTP. (IXFJ or INTX would be best.) And I wonder why these are all introverts...?

Oh, the ISFJ guy found another girl, by the way. So don't worry about him.

 

[Evee]

Intolerably so, based on first hand experience with my ISFJ (ex) girlfriend.

 

[chickpea]

hmm, I could see ISFJs ranging from over-the-top obnoxiously affectionate to very cold and uncomfortable showing any affection. enneagram/instinctual variant would play a big part.

 

[Hawthorne]

Every single one.

If you ever meet an xSFJ and they don't smother you in their adoration, you ask them "why you always lying?" and quickly Heel Face Turn away from them. Make sure your velocity is high enough to generate a centripetal shield or else they might back-stab you. They've clearly demonstrated their lack of moral center by this point and have nothing to lose.

 

[Yama]

I definitely consider myself a friendly person but I dunno about affectionate. Sure, I like to do nice things for the people I care about like maybe make brownies or something, but not all that often. I could be an outlier but I find it kind of awkward to be affectionate in physical ways (ex. little touches or hugs) and instead express it just by doing favors for that person, being thoughtful towards them, etc. If people initiate that sort of contact with me (like a friend hugging me), I'll go with it, but I tend never to initiate that kind of thing.

Also let it be known that I find it incredibly awkward when people thank me for stuff. I got my ISTJ friend a CD for Christmas a couple years ago and he wouldn't shut up about how "thoughtful" my selection was (I got him the single of one of his favorite songs from his favorite artist that he didn't yet have). He was like, "I just bought you the cheapest thing I could find on eBay" (thanks... lol). And my reaction to compliments is to get flustered.

 

[Fun in the Sun]

I definitely consider myself a friendly person but I dunno about affectionate. Sure, I like to do nice things for the people I care about like maybe make brownies or something, but not all that often. I could be an outlier but I find it kind of awkward to be affectionate in physical ways (ex. little touches or hugs) and instead express it just by doing favors for that person, being thoughtful towards them, etc. If people initiate that sort of contact with me (like a friend hugging me), I'll go with it, but I tend never to initiate that kind of thing.

Also let it be known that I find it incredibly awkward when people thank me for stuff. I got my ISTJ friend a CD for Christmas a couple years ago and he wouldn't shut up about how "thoughtful" my selection was (I got him the single of one of his favorite songs from his favorite artist that he didn't yet have). He was like, "I just bought you the cheapest thing I could find on eBay" (thanks... lol). And my reaction to compliments is to get flustered.

Same here. I'm very reserved so I don't initiate a lot of physical attention, unless I know that person is receptive to it. Greetings is a big one. If I know you aren't a hugger, I won't even try, just say hello. Some people don't even like to shake hands. I have to say that I'm quick to shake hands with everyone I first. If the person wants to hug me on first meeting/parting then I let them do that do. I'm kind of like, do whatever you like to me, lol. But, yeah, real reserved on how much affection to show around acquaintances and strangers.

I pretty much don't miss birthdays and always try to call and stop by with a card or gift. I just want to let people know that they're not forgotten.

 

[amazonian]

It really depends. We can be rather affectionate to people we are close to, but if, for example, it is someone we like, we may not show it very easily. We are afraid of getting emotionally injured, and therefore do not want to show interest before the other person.