[ISFJ] Finding ISFJ's

[Warm]

That is so beautiful.

 

[maliafee]

That is so beautiful.

Thanks!!! I love ISFJs; they are the absolute best.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

I wasn't trying to discredit you at all, dear. I was simply sharing.

I was simply joking.

 

[Tea Party]

Ha, now I get to fill one out! c:

How does one go about finding and wooing an ISFJ?
Um... I would say you should look for a shy (and possibly somewhat mopey) person who and is very intent on their surroundings. A socially awkward people watcher, I guess.

What do ISFJ's look for in a guy/girl?
ISFJ girls definitely like GENTLEMENNN. C: (But I'm pretty sure any girl with a healthy self-esteem would probably agree with that sentiment...) I think we also especially value honesty, loyalty, responsibility, and a strong work ethic. (At least I know I do.) And I think in a relationship we find a little bit of possessiveness/over-protectiveness (within reason, of course) cute. C:

How similar are they to the ISTJ when it comes to relationships?
I think pretty similar... both ISTJs and ISFJs are very loyal and dutiful in their relationships. I can't think of any especially big differences.

Where do they "hide out"?
It depends on how strong their I is. I'd say you're basically only likely to find them in mundane places like work, school, etc.

How do they flirt?
...By trying to act as innocent and unassuming as possible? I'm not sure if "flirt" is really the right word for it... (I personally can't help but feel that the stereotypical concept of "flirting" always seems to have some sort of vaguely manipulative or dishonest implication to it. I just don't like the word very much.) Basically if we are interested, we will either be painfully shy or we will be so sweet that we give you cavities. :U That's it.

What types are they typically interested in?
Well, of course I am madly in love with an ISTJ... and I can't really imagine being interested in any one else, so I'll just say we like ISTJs.

 

[Giggly]

Good post, Tea Party.

 

[Magic Poriferan]

Where do they "hide out"?
It depends on how strong their I is. I'd say you're basically only likely to find them in mundane places like work, school, etc.

Tell me, Tea Party, can I find ISFJs girls at a tea party? Do they still do that in their 20s and beyond?

...By trying to act as innocent and unassuming as possible? I'm not sure if "flirt" is really the right word for it... (I personally can't help but feel that the stereotypical concept of "flirting" always seems to have some sort of vaguely manipulative or dishonest implication to it. I just don't like the word very much.) Basically if we are interested, we will either be painfully shy or we will be so sweet that we give you cavities. :U That's it.

So in other words, ISFJs like to play coy.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

So in other words, ISFJs like to play coy.

ISFJs invented playing coy.

 

[Eagle]

Tell me, Tea Party, can I find ISFJs girls at a tea party? Do they still do that in their 20s and beyond?



So in other words, ISFJs like to play coy.

Yes, why do you think d@ve likes going after them?

 

[d@v3]

Yes, why do you think d@ve likes going after them?

How dare you insult me like this Eagle! I told you before this thread is for everyone!

 

[Eagle]

How dare you insult me like this Eagle! I told you before this thread is for everyone!

I love how you morph into a someone with a bow in their hair and a rolling pin whenever you don't like what I say. This thread my be for everyone, but it's primarily going to be used by you.
Also, it easier to reference you than myself.

 

[Shadow]

@ maliafee - Awwwww

Well, this question have been nagging me for a couple weeks now. I guess it's just out of curiosity though as Jeffster and some others were talking to me about it in vent. And since Warm refuses to help me by answering my questions...

How does one go about finding and wooing an ISFJ?
What do ISFJ's look for in a guy/girl?
How similar are they to the ISTJ when it comes to relationships?
Where do they "hide out"?
How do they flirt?
What types are they typically interested in?

Sorry Dave but I'm going to answer with the ISFJ male in mind

How does one go about finding and wooing an ISFJ?
Not at a club or bar with loud thumping music, I wouldn't have thought. They might be there, but they won't be bounding over to you. Look for the slightly shy looking person who is with a lot of friends and who may seem a bit overwhelmed by the loudness/bright lights/activity, but who looks cute rather than serious.
The best bet, unfortunately, is probably through friends, at a house party or pub or somewhere quiet where people can talk.

What do ISFJs look for in a guy/girl?
Someone somewhat traditional in terms of appearance (i.e. feminine or masculine, by the way they dress if nothing else, although I don't think this is a dealbreaker.) Trustworthy, loyal and steady so they can entrust their thoughts with you and know you won't ever embarrass or hurt them. Probably someone who takes home and family as seriously as them (my family's all over the place and I hardly contact them - I had to effectively show my bf that I could *do* family. I've now been accepted as a part of his family by his parents and he loves me for it!) They don't want a pushover though, they'll admire you if you have your own mind and opinions, as long as you don't push them down other people's throats. I think aggressivity and coarseness is a big turn-off for them. They appreciate politeness and someone who'll listen to them and at least try to understand; someone who won't ride roughshod over their feelings. Someone who appreciates and shares their sense of humour.

How similar are they to ISTJ when it comes to relationships?
Quite similar.
The similarities I've noticed: Likes to keep private life private; relationships are a priority with them and they'll keep their word, love and cherish you as long as you don't hurt or neglect them; they like a bond which is deeper than just physical and enjoy talking and laughing with you; they want a long-term relationship and their ideal is lasting love.
The differences I've noticed: Likes to really make a fuss over you (in the nice, caring way); may be inclined to put you somewhat on a pedestal; needs affection and reassurance of your love, like the ISTJ does too, but probably moreso; sex is very much an intimate demonstration of love rather than a physical act (maybe other ISTJs feel differently from me, but I can enjoy sex for the physical feeling as well as because of any bond I have with my partner).

How do they flirt?
Coy is a good word.
Thinking about the male, they are visibly interested in you, smile a lot, are charming (when they really like you they can be surprisingly forward, in a gentlemanly way), compliment you, talk about their lives as if they're letting you in. When you've already been on a date together you'll know they like you if they call or invite you out again (heh - my ISFJ just called me right after I wrote this!! I have to admit, sometimes it's like he can read my mind ), but don't expect a kiss or physical closeness necessarily on the first date (with us it was the 3rd, but I was ready before then!) because it's not really dating etiquette. When they've assured themselves that you're a good person they'll really open up and show you the true depths of their warmth.

Hope that's somewhat accurate.

 

[Giggly]

@ maliafee - Awwwww



Sorry Dave but I'm going to answer with the ISFJ male in mind

How does one go about finding and wooing an ISFJ?
Not at a club or bar with loud thumping music, I wouldn't have thought. They might be there, but they won't be bounding over to you. Look for the slightly shy looking person who is with a lot of friends and who may seem a bit overwhelmed by the loudness/bright lights/activity, but who looks cute rather than serious.
The best bet, unfortunately, is probably through friends, at a house party or pub or somewhere quiet where people can talk.

What do ISFJs look for in a guy/girl?
Someone somewhat traditional in terms of appearance (i.e. feminine or masculine, by the way they dress if nothing else, although I don't think this is a dealbreaker.) Trustworthy, loyal and steady so they can entrust their thoughts with you and know you won't ever embarrass or hurt them. Probably someone who takes home and family as seriously as them (my family's all over the place and I hardly contact them - I had to effectively show my bf that I could *do* family. I've now been accepted as a part of his family by his parents and he loves me for it!) They don't want a pushover though, they'll admire you if you have your own mind and opinions, as long as you don't push them down other people's throats. I think aggressivity and coarseness is a big turn-off for them. They appreciate politeness and someone who'll listen to them and at least try to understand; someone who won't ride roughshod over their feelings. Someone who appreciates and shares their sense of humour.

How similar are they to ISTJ when it comes to relationships?
Quite similar.
The similarities I've noticed: Likes to keep private life private; relationships are a priority with them and they'll keep their word, love and cherish you as long as you don't hurt or neglect them; they like a bond which is deeper than just physical and enjoy talking and laughing with you; they want a long-term relationship and their ideal is lasting love.
The differences I've noticed: Likes to really make a fuss over you (in the nice, caring way); may be inclined to put you somewhat on a pedestal; needs affection and reassurance of your love, like the ISTJ does too, but probably moreso; sex is very much an intimate demonstration of love rather than a physical act (maybe other ISTJs feel differently from me, but I can enjoy sex for the physical feeling as well as because of any bond I have with my partner).

How do they flirt?
Coy is a good word.
Thinking about the male, they are visibly interested in you, smile a lot, are charming (when they really like you they can be surprisingly forward, in a gentlemanly way), compliment you, talk about their lives as if they're letting you in. When you've already been on a date together you'll know they like you if they call or invite you out again (heh - my ISFJ just called me right after I wrote this!! I have to admit, sometimes it's like he can read my mind ), but don't expect a kiss or physical closeness necessarily on the first date (with us it was the 3rd, but I was ready before then!) because it's not really dating etiquette. When they've assured themselves that you're a good person they'll really open up and show you the true depths of their warmth.

Hope that's somewhat accurate.

This is really good. I'm impressed.

 

[Lightning_Rider]

I'd say that's pretty accurate about most things.

 

[Argus]

ISFJ's can be found: At the mall with their ESFJ buddies.

 

[simpleamazement]

In an office.

I work with some ISFJs...cute ones. But I don't think it's a good idea for me to date them.

 

[Warm]

In an office.

I work with some ISFJs...cute ones. But I don't think it's a good idea for me to date them.

Why not?

 

[simpleamazement]

Why not?

Dating someone while working with them is tough...at least for me. Drama can spill over to your work environment. I've dated girls (ISFJ, ESFJ) who I worked with in the past. It wasn't pleasant once we figured out that it wasn't working out.

 

[uberrogo]

Dating someone while working with them is tough...at least for me. Drama can spill over to your work environment. I've dated girls (ISFJ, ESFJ) who I worked with in the past. It wasn't pleasant once we figured out that it wasn't working out.

Send them my way then please. ISFJs sound like they are the cats meow.

 

[Warm]

Send them my way then please. ISFJs sound like they are the cats meow.

Meeeeeooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!

 

[Dwigie]

Hey....SJ and SP threads are fun.


ninja: Please ignore me.)

I know one ISFJ. She was introduced to my father by a friend of my mother(the ISFJ in question). She was really looking for the "man". Well-mannered, well-educated, well-groomed, well-...Hm, many of the things she looked for started with "Well".
She was an elementary school teacher and not a wild girl. She was chased after apparently but was very "aware" of schemy boys which she quickly bypassed.