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[MBTI General] ISTJ-ENFP Relationship Starter (Help!)

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Or that.

Could she have been using you to get closer to him? hmMM?! HMM?!

He's not a close friend, just a friend from work. I don't hang out with him or anything. I don't think she liked him before.

She said "I just got out of a bad relationship and not sure if I want a bf right now". <-- she recovers quite fast, I would say.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
I read ISTJ relationship threads compulsively because I need to figure out how to get them to leave me alone. Also because I now just feel kind of sorry for Dave and want to help him out.

Hey, Dave. We should get coffee sometime and discuss your relationship failures.

(I also know a very lovely blue eyed INFJ who might be your type.)

^ Thanks Tiny. Maybe there is hope after all! :D Too bad you live 7 hours away. :doh:

My relationship failures.... that's alot of coffee! :cheese:

On a serious note, I wonder how genuine SHE is... I mean, surely she would not pick me over a 17 year old? Is that even legal?! :doh:

She really knows how to break someone's pride! It's embarassing and it pretty much takes away any confidence I had to start with, at least in the romantic area. :(
 

Tiny Army

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ISTJs just need a little self confidence is all. There are many NFs who would love to have a steadying influence in their lives and ISTJs are incredibly loyal and devoted.

Oh, and the self confident ones need to learn to be less controlling.

I had an ISTJ spend an entire first date trying to convince me that animation was a dead medium and I should really switch to cinematography (like him) because there's no work for animators anymore. He also said that working with children was a bad idea and horribly stressful and I shouldn't do it because it would shorten my lifespan. He tried to change my self decided purpose in life on our first date.

Needless to say we were "just friends" from that point on.
 

RiderOnTheStorm

E. N.. T... :P
Joined
Aug 25, 2008
Messages
792
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I read ISTJ relationship threads compulsively because I need to figure out how to get them to leave me alone. Also because I now just feel kind of sorry for Dave and want to help him out.)

LOL Never looked at it that way. Nice strategy. ;) They flock to me also. Haha. :sick:

Dave: No offense.

^lol awe come on, we can't be THAT bad... :) (And I was kidding about you wanting a relationship. :) I mean.. with me anyway.)

You're talking to a woman that has more than her share of experience with ISTJs. k. I have my prejudgments just as anyone else would that has had much experience with a particular type. I'm trying to overcome that tho. Everyone's different...blah, blah, blah.

When you said 'relationship' I knew you were joking. My humor was quite dry there on purpose.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
ISTJs just need a little self confidence is all. There are many NFs who would love to have a steadying influence in their lives and ISTJs are incredibly loyal and devoted.

Oh, and the self confident ones need to learn to be less controlling.

I had an ISTJ spend an entire first date trying to convince me that animation was a dead medium and I should really switch to cinematography (like him) because there's no work for animators anymore. He also said that working with children was a bad idea and horribly stressful and I shouldn't do it because it would shorten my lifespan. He tried to change my self decided purpose in life on our first date.

Needless to say we were "just friends" from that point on.

^Yeah... that sounds like an ISTJ with too much confidence... you sure it wasnt an ESTJ? ENTJ? :doh:

Sounds like a nut case to me! If it were me, I would be more likely to cheer you on with your goals. Kids are fun to work with! Sure, they can be a pain sometimes, but that's what makes them kids! :)
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
LOL Never looked at it that way. Nice strategy. ;) They flock to me also. Haha. :sick:

Dave: No offense.

^ None taken? :huh:

You're talking to a woman that has more than her share of experience with ISTJs. k. I have my prejudgments just as anyone else would that has had much experience with a particular type. I'm trying to overcome that tho. Everyone's different...blah, blah, blah.

When you said 'relationship' I knew you were joking. My humor was quite dry there on purpose.

Ah ok, as long as you knew I wasn't being serious. I don't want any misunderstandings! Yes'm we are all different. That guy Tiny was talking about sounds like a nut case... but then again, she lives in NYC there are lots of nut cases there! (No offense Tiny!)
 

Tiny Army

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None taken. The crazies flock to NYC. This is a fact.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
ISTJs just need a little self confidence is all. There are many NFs who would love to have a steadying influence in their lives and ISTJs are incredibly loyal and devoted.

^ Are they in NYC too? *packs bags* :blush:

Don't know if I have ever met an INFJ before, though. :huh:
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
2,523
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LoLz
"Congregation" you say. Of whom does this "congregation" consist of? I've only seen you, Beat, and Dave all in vent at once.

Uhh, me, Dave, Beat, Cimarron and...uhh....I think that's it unless there are more ISTJs hiding around here.
 

d@v3

Perfect Gentleman! =D
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
2,830
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Uhh, me, Dave, Beat, Cimarron and...uhh....I think that's it unless there are more ISTJs hiding around here.

I would like to see the girl ISTJ's get in vent. Now THAT would be interesting. Maybe when hell freezes over they will consider it? :yes:
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
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LoLz
I would like to see the girl ISTJ's get in vent. Now THAT would be interesting. Maybe when hell freezes over they will consider it? :yes:

They don't really exist.
 

Tiny Army

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They do exist and most of them are wonderful people! My ISTJ sister is in med school and is going to be a pretty excellent surgeon soon. She's also very personable and her med school friends say she has a great bedside manner. ISTJ girls are usually very sensible and sweet (though usually really shy).
 

OregonENFP

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Mar 19, 2009
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ENFP
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So... you don't want to be protected? What ever happened to chivalry? Perhaps I am still stuck in the Dark Ages when it comes to dating. :(


I was thinking about going in early to work/school some day and walking her to her car and carrying her books because we have had some very bad winter weather. :blush: Would that be considered "protecting"? I do not want to offend her or annoy her. :peepwall:

lol and Amargith what did I say about using the wubbie face!!! :azdaja:


I LOVE chilvalry!!! I miss being treated like this! My ex treated me like a QUEEN and I am still trying to recover from it!!!

Carrying her books, too??? Awwwwwwwwwwwww oh my gosh. I would simply be absolutely so impressed and would feel swooned with that type of treatment. Oh my gosh... what a lucky girl!!!
 

OregonENFP

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Mar 19, 2009
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As many of you know, as an ISTJ, my social skills SUCK :

I have been alone for about 8 years and even before then, I never really had any romantic relationship. I have been told I can be very "charming" to girls, but have not been able to get them to agree to a date.

A girl from school just randomly "friended" me started messaging me on facebook and I think she may be an ENFP (;)), we have had great conversations in the last week and she said she would "love" it if I showed her my pictures from over-seas sometime. She is also telling me all the time that she "loves" to watch movies and go to the movies. She said she had a problem with spending way too much time on homework and not enough time having fun. What does this mean? It sounds like an invitation to ask her out to me! :cheese:

The problem is that every time I propose lunch or dinner or something she comes up with a reason it will not work out. I do not want to annoy her. Iam very confused and it seems like all I can do now is wait. I REALLY hate to wait... are there any alternatives? How long should I wait? Would it be wrong of me to assume she is not interested if I don't hear anything after a few days? :confused:

This whole thing has put me into ISTJ crisis mode or something. It's a feeling I don't think I have every felt before. Almost like watching a suspense movie with the feelings of uncertainty. I didn't even sleep well last night! I found it very difficult to concentrate on a machine I had to put together at work the other day. It was an expensive machine and I would have been held liable too if it broke.

People have said I worry too much about some things, but I never thought it would get to this point. Feeling this way can't be normal nor can it be healthy, right? What the heck is wrong with me? Any ideas of how I can get this worry off my mind? Perhaps it just takes time to forget it. :sadbanana:

Sorry I made this so long. :sorry:

Oh my gosh, I just read this and this made me laugh and say AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Ok, you're making ISTJ's seem wayyy too cute! I love the 'crisis mode' thing! And the fact it was affecting the way you were working with the machine.

As for asking her out... she is LUCKY as heck to get a guy like you. Be brave and get up the nerve and ask her.
 

Shadow

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Feb 17, 2009
Messages
453
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INTJ
I LOVE chilvalry!!! I miss being treated like this! My ex treated me like a QUEEN and I am still trying to recover from it!!!

Carrying her books, too??? Awwwwwwwwwwwww oh my gosh. I would simply be absolutely so impressed and would feel swooned with that type of treatment. Oh my gosh... what a lucky girl!!!

Omg, I never know why some girls don't like chivalry?! I know full well that I'm ultra-capable and more intelligent etc. than many men. That doesn't preclude the joy I get when a guy holds open a door for me with a smile for about 5 minutes before I even reach it, offers me his coat in the cold or some other nice gesture. It's like, wow, someone has acknowledged my existence! Makes my day, especially if I'm in stressed-robot mode.
Chivalry should make a comeback ;)
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
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Omg, I never know why some girls don't like chivalry?! I know full well that I'm ultra-capable and more intelligent etc. than many men. That doesn't preclude the joy I get when a guy holds open a door for me with a smile for about 5 minutes before I even reach it, offers me his coat in the cold or some other nice gesture. It's like, wow, someone has acknowledged my existence! Makes my day, especially if I'm in stressed-robot mode.
Chivalry should make a comeback ;)

I think all girls like chivalry. It's guys who don't like chivalry lol (some, not all)
 

OregonENFP

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Mar 19, 2009
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Bring back the GENTLEMAN!!!

I think all girls like chivalry. It's guys who don't like chivalry lol (some, not all)

Hm.... I'm a bit confused about this one. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I used to live in Scandinavia and chilvalry is DEADDDDDDDDD there. Men don't do squat for women in Norway/Sweden/Iceland/Denmark. It's total equality. Which has it's good sides but man, I am a HUGE supporter of chivalry!!! My ex was the most romantic and old-fashioned man who I swear to God treated me just like a Queen. Every door opened, lots of gifts on holidays, ordering my meals for me....... Oh my gosh, I could cry thinking about how much I miss the way he treated me. :violin:
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
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Hm.... I'm a bit confused about this one. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I used to live in Scandinavia and chilvalry is DEADDDDDDDDD there. Men don't do squat for women in Norway/Sweden/Iceland/Denmark. It's total equality. Which has it's good sides but man, I am a HUGE supporter of chivalry!!! My ex was the most romantic and old-fashioned man who I swear to God treated me just like a Queen. Every door opened, lots of gifts on holidays, ordering my meals for me....... Oh my gosh, I could cry thinking about how much I miss the way he treated me. :violin:

Aww. :wubbie: yeah, I like that too. I don't mind being a lady either, but some guys don't like that. It seems like people are really struggling and confused about gender roles at this time. Like a revolution is happening. I'm hoping it'll pass and things will settle in a couple of decades though. :)
 
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