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[MBTI General] ISTJ+ISFP?

Cimarron

IRL is not real
Joined
Aug 21, 2008
Messages
3,417
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ISTJ
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Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Hrm. Well, it takes SJ's a while to get used to things that are new to them, so you'll have to ease him into new things slowly.
That's good advice I think, especially for shy ISJs. Easier ways to convince him to try new things are to try them together (with you), whatever it is, and to try to take it slowly, not rush into something all at once.

The closer you two are, the more likely he is to let himself be put in uneasy new situations, but the more drastic the change, the more he's only doing it because you're there with him. (Probably obvious.) In times like that, he's just putting a lot of faith into you, hoping that you know what you're doing.
 

Frankie-NOTRUST-

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Dec 25, 2008
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Isfp
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4
Why on earth would he be offended by you? :huh: Are you belching your ABCs in public and showing your ruffly underpants to strangers?

Not knowing what's okay doesn't sound very relaxing. I would think he would take you as you were. The beauty of ISFPs are their ease and charm and ability to go with the flow. One of my girlpals is an ISFP and I love her for her outbursts and observations and her supremely chill nature. I would kick the first guy who bridled her. It would be so wrong to tamp her down. It wouldn't be kind.



I'd say a year and a half is ample time to get to know someone at least on the important points. Why should you be so careful of his opinion? Just curious! :)


haha. well...maybe the "offended" wasnt the right word.
Im at a loss of words. :alttongue:
I guess I just dont want to disappoint him?
I don't want to make it sound like hes a bad guy or anything. Nothing has happened that would make me think he dosent like me for me for me, I
suppose its just an insecurity.
 

anainani

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Oct 20, 2008
Messages
65
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isfp
ainainani: Sounds like you like him alot. I think you would be able to form a romantic relationship with your istj-friend. Maybe it has many factors to why you would think not. It may be you inferior Ni that tricks you that the sensational pleasures you actually get from your friend isnt enough and your Fi feels that there is no feeling to relate to and therefor you don't have enough confidence to show yourself vulnerable. But, infact, showing yourself vulnerable first to ISTJ's would make the ISTJ think that there really is deep emotions to this character (because there is) and not just emotions that are there to manipulate other people to get what they want. I believe that both would see eachother as somewhat shallow but in different ways if neither of you take the first step and show emotions about "this is important, i need to be free from booring routines". Yes, I know that you think that the ISTJ wouldn't grasp that and they look cold like hell. But I think most of them do.

There is potential atleast.

Nah, I am on a different continent now, for one :D. And we really were just friends. I liked him, you're right, but it was entirely platonic.
But if we'd set aside the fact that me and him are on different sides of the world, and suppose that there would have been attraction, and we would want similar things out of life, and we'd get into relationship, it still wouldn't work. The J/P difference would be a total catastrophe, cos he's very J. I'd probably strangle him :D
 

Frankie-NOTRUST-

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Dec 25, 2008
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Thought I'd let anyone that cares know that, we are doing wonderful. =-D
its been 6 months? and we're doing better than ever. And boy! were you guys right about not getting bored. Turns out my other half, can be extremely spontanious.

love&appreciate all the input.
:D
-FrankieFiend
 

zillah

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Joined
Apr 18, 2009
Messages
34
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Something I've learned along the way is ISTJs like to be looked after too, esp by someone they trust and love.

Yes

Yes

Yes

Thought I'd let anyone that cares know that, we are doing wonderful. =-D
its been 6 months? and we're doing better than ever. And boy! were you guys right about not getting bored. Turns out my other half, can be extremely spontanious.

love&appreciate all the input.
:D
-FrankieFiend

Hey, that's awesome!! Good to know for someone else in an ISTJ-ISFP relationship too. :D
 

maliafee

Active member
Joined
Feb 10, 2009
Messages
1,127
My boyfriend's sister is ISTJ and she just married an ISFP last August after a 5 year relationship. They have little spats, but in general the ISTJ just does what she's supposed to do in life, enjoys her husband and few friends and family things, and is super easy to get along with. The pairing appears GREAT. Also, I (ISFP) really like her/get along with her, too. ISFPs and ISTJs share a lot of S-doing stuff that can make the relationship mutually enjoyable or so it would seem.

Wedding pictures:

theresaanddoug3.jpg

theresaanddoug1.jpg

theresaanddoug2.jpg
 

zillah

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Apr 18, 2009
Messages
34
MBTI Type
ISTJ
Oh, awesome. :D Thank you maliafee!!

My ISFP and I have been having a rocky time these past weeks. (The relationship is quite new.) I think we have settled into a place now where we feel a bit more comfortable and are officially "together". He just lights up my world and I love being there for him.

I agree about doing S-type stuff together. Me and my man love gardening, cooking, eating, that sort of stuff. I would like to build a house with him one day...
 

maliafee

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Feb 10, 2009
Messages
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Oh, awesome. :D Thank you maliafee!!

My ISFP and I have been having a rocky time these past weeks. (The relationship is quite new.) I think we have settled into a place now where we feel a bit more comfortable and are officially "together". He just lights up my world and I love being there for him.

I agree about doing S-type stuff together. Me and my man love gardening, cooking, eating, that sort of stuff. I would like to build a house with him one day...

The above couple I posted do that stuff together, and though they haven't built a house together, have done things like remodel their kitchen (ISFP is a cabinet-maker). They are always having the family over for burgers or carne asada tacos or whatever. The ISTJ is a pretty good cook and never complains so is really nice to be around. The main thing I notice is that they're not afraid of making fun of each other and occasionally this sparks a lil argument, but mostly is just funny. The ISFP incites the ISTJ to say, go to Seattle for five days to visit friends, and the ISTJ gets the ISFP out with friends to have drinks and stuff. I can see where it would get rocky but it seems like they have it figured out; I think they just take space when things get rough and things usually blow over.
 

zillah

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Apr 18, 2009
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ISTJ
The above couple I posted do that stuff together, and though they haven't built a house together, have done things like remodel their kitchen (ISFP is a cabinet-maker).
"My" ISFP has a house of his own and is gradually renovating it... gee he's good at it too, does a pro-looking job on things like plastering which would totally phase me :shock: He's a boilermaker (metalworker/welder - he's bloody good at that too by the sounds of things) but can figure out anything hands on and just has a go til he gets it right. I love that about him, he demystifies so many practical things that I would like to try but that intimidate me. Even sewing?! He's just like, work out the template and I bet I can put it together. He's so can do, I love it. My INTP ex just made everything so confusing with a million reasons why anything wouldn't work, I really lost my mojo. :(

I can see where it would get rocky but it seems like they have it figured out; I think they just take space when things get rough and things usually blow over.

My first boyfriend was ISFP (we went out for nearly 3 years) and I remember this from our relationship, that we would have various dramas and little blowups but then things would just be alright again. I notice with my man and I that we are both people who get quite cranky about various things, but once vented/a bit of space & time, we're completely over it and maybe not quite sure why we were so mad. So I think we might be a bit like that too, I dunno. There's a lot of room for learning and growth in our relationship, that's for sure. :)
 

maliafee

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Feb 10, 2009
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"My" ISFP has a house of his own and is gradually renovating it... gee he's good at it too, does a pro-looking job on things like plastering which would totally phase me :shock: He's a boilermaker (metalworker/welder - he's bloody good at that too by the sounds of things) but can figure out anything hands on and just has a go til he gets it right. I love that about him, he demystifies so many practical things that I would like to try but that intimidate me. Even sewing?! He's just like, work out the template and I bet I can put it together. He's so can do, I love it. My INTP ex just made everything so confusing with a million reasons why anything wouldn't work, I really lost my mojo. :(

Oh man. Yeah, If you're an "S", having another "S" is sooo refreshing after being with "N"s... (no offense to the Ns, but sharing the same letter there is NICE).

My first boyfriend was ISFP (we went out for nearly 3 years) and I remember this from our relationship, that we would have various dramas and little blowups but then things would just be alright again. I notice with my man and I that we are both people who get quite cranky about various things, but once vented/a bit of space & time, we're completely over it and maybe not quite sure why we were so mad. So I think we might be a bit like that too, I dunno. There's a lot of room for learning and growth in our relationship, that's for sure. :)

Sounds like you have a good thing going! I love my relationship with an ISFJ...
 

Frankie-NOTRUST-

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haha. arguments....

My istj and i argue rarely.
When we do, i get over it after a few minutes to myself, but he wont let it go.
I learned to just let him be mad for a bit. He gets over it eventually and we're good.

He distains apologising.
I'm okay with that tho.
I love my istj, arguments and all.
=-D
 

swordpath

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I'd really like to meet a female ISFP. I don't know that I ever have, but they're such a great type (my little bro is one) and I bet it could be a good pair.
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
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LoLz
I think in american pie 1, 2 and 3, Jim is ISTJ and Michelle is ISFP.
 

swordpath

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^I haven't payed any attention to those movies. Should I?
 

swordpath

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youtube doesn't work. Thanks anyways. lol
 

raz

Let's make this showy!
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Fixed the link if it was the embed
 
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