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  1. #11


    I'd agree with everyone else. My wife is ESFJ and doing things for them, relieving some of the work off their shoulders is the best thing you can do.

    I would not ask but think what needs to be taken care of and do it.?

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    My ESFJ mother has been having a hard time lately and although I do not connect easily with her (INTJ), I'd like to do something nice for her that shows that I care. I try to do that, but I feel like I Fi it out and my lofty speeches or spontaneous hugs only puzzle her.

    Perhaps she'd prefer something as simple as helping her do the dishes or calling her to tell her I went shopping and bought a new sweater (sorry for the slightly stereotypical portrayal)? Suggestions? friend who's an INTJ has an ESFJ mother. They don't get along very well. But When he wants to show her that he cares he uses the following method.

    He thinks about something she enjoys and spends a great deal of time on. The specific example shows that she's very proud of her cooking, likes to read novels, studies the bible, talks a lot about mbti and collects decorative things to place around the house. Really, just kinda observe her like you're going to write a report on her habits and send it to discovery channel [semi-creepy, but only if you look at it from the wrong perspective].

    Chances are, with a memory that an INTJ seems to have, you already know a few things she enjoys and is into. SO!! this is how you make it fun for YOU.

    Most INTJ's I know and talk to seem to enjoy playing detective and applying the scientific method where ever and when ever they can. Considering that the following is a source of enjoyment and amusement make it a mission to get the perfect gift [yeah....perfectionism is fun too. I know you want it.]. Something that she'll remember [if it's like an event of some sort] or keep [if it's some kind of object] for years to come.

    I.E. my friend, who's not me by the way, went christmast shopping and decided to buy this glass thingy that had dolphins carved in it. It was completely stained blue and in one of those island shops in the mall [the one that shows up in nearly every mall around christmas time with all the glass things]. The decision was made because of observation that his mother enjoys collecting nicknacks, loves to make sure the house is clean and presentable, and is a little into art. His mom still has it to this day, and it was bought 10 years ago. get the into. Just look at what she's into and find something that she'll want to keep for a while.

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