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[ESFJ] ESFJ Females; what qualities do you admire/seek in a partner?

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
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ISFP
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9w1
My wife is ESFJ, I wonder if we're naturally drawn to them?
 

spirilis

Senior Membrane
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Jul 5, 2007
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INTP
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9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I know an ISFP (female)/ESFJ (male) couple, just to add to the fire :D
 
D

Dali

Guest
Nice!

The only woman I've ever truly loved was ESFJ (as were also most of my crushes). When we talked, we ended up both laughing so hard my sides hurt by the end. She loved my wacky humour and I loved her sense of humour and wonderful big heart among other qualities.

xNFJs are drawn to me for some reason but ESFJ is where it's at for me. ;)

If only one would show show up here... (EDIT: I mean show up to answer my original post... we won't jump on and drag you back to our caves... but we may be sorely tempted)
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
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9w1
Haha, I liked your post before the edit. :D

I reckon your best chance would be to just show off your cognitive processes, our CP's are matched up exactly with theirs except we flow out where they flow in and vice versa. So just be yourself, I reckon the ISFP type is naturally quite attractive to them.
 

sarah

soft and silky
Joined
Sep 3, 2008
Messages
548
MBTI Type
isfp
Nice!

The only woman I've ever truly loved was ESFJ (as were also most of my crushes). When we talked, we ended up both laughing so hard my sides hurt by the end. She loved my wacky humour and I loved her sense of humour and wonderful big heart among other qualities.

xNFJs are drawn to me for some reason but ESFJ is where it's at for me. ;)

If only one would show show up here... (EDIT: I mean show up to answer my original post... we won't jump on and drag you back to our caves... but we may be sorely tempted)


I've heard ISFP+ESFJ and ISFJ+ENFJ relationships described as being One Giant Feeling, thanks to their being dominant Fe and our being dominant Fi. :heart:

I have an ENFJ husband (One Giant Feeling -- whooohoo!), but I love ESFJs too. I have a couple of friends who seem to be of that type, and they really know how to make me feel loved and appreciated. I am amazed at how much they remember of what I've told them in the past, and how attentive they are not only to my physical comfort, but every detail of what I do and say.

Sarah
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
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ISFP
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9w1
Yeah, I have a calming influence on her and she helps me become more outgoing.

That socionics stuff sort of fits my relationship, except for this stuff:

Mirror partners generally agree about setting near future goals, but disagree about global aims. Mirror relations usually lack warm atmosphere between partners.

We tend to agree on where we are going in life, sometimes disagree on how to get there. We have a very warm atmosphere.
 
D

Dali

Guest
Haha, I liked your post before the edit. :D

I reckon your best chance would be to just show off your cognitive processes, our CP's are matched up exactly with theirs except we flow out where they flow in and vice versa. So just be yourself, I reckon the ISFP type is naturally quite attractive to them.

We may be incredibly compatible but surely, there must be some of our qualities they admire more than others or a few that annoy them. It'd be great to be aware of these.

I just realised that I've probably only seen 3 or 4 ESFJs here in the short time I've been on this forum!


....I love ESFJs too. I have a couple of friends who seem to be of that type, and they really know how to make me feel loved and appreciated. I am amazed at how much they remember of what I've told them in the past, and how attentive they are not only to my physical comfort, but every detail of what I do and say.

Sarah

Out of all my pals, I've noticed the SFJs are most likely to do that. It does make one feel appreciated indeed. :yes:
 

Giggly

No moss growing on me
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
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9,661
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2
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sx/so
The only active ESFJ I know of here is Pure_mercury and he is male.

Maybe this post may get some ESFJ females attention and make them post.
 
D

Dali

Guest
The only active ESFJ I know of here is Pure_mercury and he is male.

Maybe this post may get some ESFJ females attention and make them post.

I saw a few others while browsing old threads. I thought ESPs were the most underrepresented on here... guess they have a strong competitor in this wonderful, amazing, lovely type that isn't susceptible to flattery at all. :p
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
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eNFJ
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My favorite couples on soap operas are ISFP - ESFJ. They tend to have mutually agreeable energy levels and humor, and are fun to watch. Both seem to appreciate the Fi/Fe primary dynamic. The ISFP keeps things relaxed, the door open and swinging while being kind and supportive, and the ESFJ is the delightful cruise director and the fiery champion for their ISFP's cosmic leanings.

My sister's welding teacher was an ESTP married to an ESFJ, which was also very ".... and then hilarity ensues..." They're funny to listen to. :D
 
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Dali

Guest
My favorite couples on soap operas are ISFP - ESFJ. They tend to have mutually agreeable energy levels and humor, and are fun to watch. Both seem to appreciate the Fi/Fe primary dynamic. The ISFP keeps things relaxed, the door open and swinging while being kind and supportive, and the ESFJ is the delightful cruise director and the fiery champion for their ISFP's cosmic leanings.

My sister's welding teacher was an ESTP married to an ESFJ, which was also very ".... and then hilarity ensues..." They're funny to listen to. :D

Can you give me a few examples of the couples?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Can you give me a few examples of the couples?

Certainly! :)

On "The Young and the Restless":


Amber (ESFJ) and Daniel (ISFP)

Kevin (ESFJ) and Janna (ISFP)

I notice the ISFPs in these relationships are playing the cool clear conscience, and the ESFJs are like forces of nature. Kevin and Amber have both been con artists (go, Fe primary!) and are (semi)reformed. Their ISFP partners also have checkered pasts, but are very bouyant sorts of hellraisers and so kindred to their ESFJs that it's kind of sweet and instinctive.



On "Guiding Light" (which sucks really bad now... :( ):


Lizzie Spaulding (ESFJ - and HILARIOUS) and Bill Lewis (ISFP) - this pair has an antagonistic yet affectionate and hilarious interaction style. They're both competing for the same company and the two of them trading paint is hysterical. She cleverly one-ups him, he hates her for it so much he practically pulls her clothes off, and vice versa. :D

Too bad the writing and camera-work sucks so bad now. It's really ruined a great couple.
 
D

Dali

Guest
Certainly! :)

On "The Young and the Restless":


Amber (ESFJ) and Daniel (ISFP)

Kevin (ESFJ) and Janna (ISFP)

I notice the ISFPs in these relationships are playing the cool clear conscience, and the ESFJs are like forces of nature. Kevin and Amber have both been con artists (go, Fe primary!) and are (semi)reformed. Their ISFP partners also have checkered pasts, but are very bouyant sorts of hellraisers and so kindred to their ESFJs that it's kind of sweet and instinctive.



On "Guiding Light" (which sucks really bad now... :( ):


Lizzie Spaulding (ESFJ - and HILARIOUS) and Bill Lewis (ISFP) - this pair has an antagonistic yet affectionate and hilarious interaction style. They're both competing for the same company and the two of them trading paint is hysterical. She cleverly one-ups him, he hates her for it so much he practically pulls her clothes off, and vice versa. :D

Too bad the writing and camera-work sucks so bad now. It's really ruined a great couple.

I really thought I might know at least one couple. I'm pretty much out of touch with TV. I'm a disgrace to my young age in that respect. :p

Thanks for obliging; will do a bit of youtube research later on to observe the dynamics of those relationships.
 

King sns

New member
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Nov 4, 2008
Messages
6,714
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enfp
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6w7
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my mom is an esfj and likes a manly "take-charge" type guy... she likes someone who is very intelligent in some area too. but he also has to be very romantic on top of it.

(she hasn't found that man yet. :( )
 
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