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  1. #1
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    Default Insights Needed: Signs of Disinterest?

    So, I have this female crush who admitted that she's an ISFJ. We are friends but our communication are very much limited to texts only. We did hang out in group and met one-to-one (her initiative) but the purpose of the meeting is only to pass her some study books.

    Right now, we're texting each other frequently. The content of the conversation are mostly her sharing of job seeking experience and asking for career advice. I spoke some silly things to her as well and she responded with laughters.

    My only struggle in texting her is only one thing: sometimes she replied me quickly and sometimes the reply came in 5-8 hours interval and sometimes she didn't reply me at all.

    I wanted to know in general is ISFJ is:

    - generally friendly to everyone like she is to me

    - giving me hints that I should back off from texting her too much through slow replies/ no reply (signs of no interest).

    Kindly advise me because I wanted to know the rough picture of the situation I'm in. I do not want to push her too much if she's not interested in me.

  2. #2
    ƃuıǝǝs | seeing Snow as White's Avatar
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    General advice for humans:
    Sometimes we have other things going on and can’t message back ASAP. It doesn’t mean anything other than life isn’t just sitting next to the cell phone waiting to respond to messages.

    The best idea really is to simply ask her out. Just keep it low key with a. Hey I’ve really been enjoying talking to you, would you like to meet up and have coffee sometime?

  3. #3
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    I wouldn't read too much into time it takes to respond from texts.

    I very much agree with the poster above. It can be hard to ask someone out. But just try to keep a cool head.

    A friend of mine tried to ask me out on multiple occasions, but he got so nervous he couldn't. The sad thing was, I knew what he was going to say (it seemed inferred), but I wasn't going to put the words in his mouth . That sort of thing is important for the interested person to express their feelings directly. Plus, my response in that case was "no," and my flight response was just trying to avoid the situation. But that's a very specific problem that I repeatedly have where I'm not going to just date anyone who's interested, but I really don't want to hurt other people (but I find avoiding the topic just makes everything worse).

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twentyonebugs View Post
    So, I have this female crush who admitted that she's an ISFJ. We are friends but our communication are very much limited to texts only. We did hang out in group and met one-to-one (her initiative) but the purpose of the meeting is only to pass her some study books.

    Right now, we're texting each other frequently. The content of the conversation are mostly her sharing of job seeking experience and asking for career advice. I spoke some silly things to her as well and she responded with laughters.

    My only struggle in texting her is only one thing: sometimes she replied me quickly and sometimes the reply came in 5-8 hours interval and sometimes she didn't reply me at all.

    I wanted to know in general is ISFJ is:

    - generally friendly to everyone like she is to me

    - giving me hints that I should back off from texting her too much through slow replies/ no reply (signs of no interest).

    Kindly advise me because I wanted to know the rough picture of the situation I'm in. I do not want to push her too much if she's not interested in me.
    See bolded above, which basically means she isn't turned off by you, she's comfortable with (1) asking you for advice and (2) enjoying your humor. ISFJ can be "behind the scenes" in approach (low key) and might find it easier to be task-oriented while retaining a friendly demeanor.

    Whether or not she'd be interested in pursuing something further is something you'd simply have to figure out by inviting her to something low-key / spending more time together. There can be a practical nature to ISFJ as a natural setting that you want to not misread as rejection, but you wouldn't know if it goes beyond friends. I wouldn't read much into the text response thing, it could be anything from not wanting to lead you on / not being interested, to simply being practical / holding a neutral view of you (so she's not even aware you're reading into it), to being interested in you but not wanting to go too fast or come off as too gushy on her end. You really would not know.

    I would keep whatever you do low-key and casual until you get to know her better and not read too much into things.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Totenkindly View Post
    See bolded above, which basically means she isn't turned off by you, she's comfortable with (1) asking you for advice and (2) enjoying your humor. ISFJ can be "behind the scenes" in approach (low key) and might find it easier to be task-oriented while retaining a friendly demeanor.

    Whether or not she'd be interested in pursuing something further is something you'd simply have to figure out by inviting her to something low-key / spending more time together. There can be a practical nature to ISFJ as a natural setting that you want to not misread as rejection, but you wouldn't know if it goes beyond friends. I wouldn't read much into the text response thing, it could be anything from not wanting to lead you on / not being interested, to simply being practical / holding a neutral view of you (so she's not even aware you're reading into it), to being interested in you but not wanting to go too fast or come off as too gushy on her end. You really would not know.

    I would keep whatever you do low-key and casual until you get to know her better and not read too much into things.
    ^---this

    I wouldn't read too much into her texts. She's probably busy with other things, which is why she's not responding lighting fast. She may even be completely oblivious to your interest in her.

    I'd ask her out to something with minimal fuss so you two can get to know each other. See what happens then
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson
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