[SJ] SJs & sex

[bloodyfungus]

With the whole nurturing side of an ISFJ coming out, the experience is rich and filled with intimacy that, personally, assures a connection of closeness in that moment. Knowing that the person you're sleeping with is willing to have sex with you automatically sets a strong sense of trust and bond.
I love that.

I get this impression with mine too. I think there is a lot more sensuousness having sex with an ISFJ. I've had a more active sex life with other types (my ex was an ENFP) but I don't think the connection during the "act" itself has been as strong.

To know that my partner can be so "nurturing" (as you put it) makes me feel like the only person on earth sometimes and makes me feel very special...

 

[JocktheMotie]

^What about non-sexual affection?

Not as much as myself really. Huggy and stuff when it's traditionally called for but will never initiate physical contact. She will rarely kiss me "for the hell of it," that burden [well not really much of one I suppose but feels that way sometimes] falls to me, and she has a very strong idea of what her role is as a woman in the realm of the physical relationship. She feels I as the male hold all the power and responsibility in that regard. It's very Puritan and I really don't get it.

 

[MacGuffin]

I think there is a lot more sensuousness having sex with an ISFJ.

 

[Giggly]

I get this impression with mine too. I think there is a lot more sensuousness having sex with an ISFJ. I've had a more active sex life with other types (my ex was an ENFP) but I don't think the connection during the "act" itself has been as strong.

To know that my partner can be so "nurturing" (as you put it) makes me feel like the only person on earth sometimes and makes me feel very special...

Awww that's sweet.

Not as much as myself really. Huggy and stuff when it's traditionally called for but will never initiate physical contact. She will rarely kiss me "for the hell of it," that burden [well not really much of one I suppose but feels that way sometimes] falls to me, and she has a very strong idea of what her role is as a woman in the realm of the physical relationship. She feels I as the male hold all the power and responsibility in that regard. It's very Puritan and I really don't get it.

This confuses me. As a female, I have a difficult time imagining myself not being physically affectionate in a non-sexual way with someone I love. I really don't know what to make of it.

 

[heart]

The horny guy whose wife only wants sex three times a year?? Don't kid yourself!! I have had friends who told me that they hated having sex with their husbands..... Twice a year was enough for them.

I know women who say this too only twice a year they would consider excessive. They do happen to be SJ, but I would hesitate to use that as any "proof" about SJ sexuality because these are some really repressed people.

 

[d@v3]

My perspective of the male SJ.... personally we might be SJ's, but we're still guys!

Not sure about females SJ's. Nor am I sure about gay SJ's- I'm not even sure if there ARE gay SJ's because SJ's are the traditional type right?

 

[entropie]

ouh my, I just read "SJs and sex" and drunk 15ten beer already... I was holding on so far, but now the wall has to feel vomitted on

 

[earthangel]

A hallmark of a mature person is the ability to limit one's options to the appropriate ones. It's usually immature people who want their cake and eat it too.

That is brilliant! I agree wholeheartedly. I wish I could become a hindu god and high five u with more than two hands.

I'm an SJ, and I suppose I'm a tad conservative. But by that I mean, I'm not living some day-to-day crazed porno adventure lol. We just aren't sexually frivolous. I will only have sex with one person, and if I decide to start relations with someone else, then I will stop having sex with the previous person and start with the next and be monogamous. I'm not interested in multiple partners or orgies, lol. But that's about it. If its with one person, especially when I get more comfortable, I will blow that person away. Seriously, they wonder what the hell happened to whatever sweet innocent person they thought they were involved with lol.

All the conservativeness that is outlined, becomes completely UNconservative with that one person. Wild. Its not like SJ's throw down a sheet, cut a hole, go at it and pray it ends quickly lol. I'm proud to be a monogamous "freak". We are just picky with who gets to enjoy it, and who we think can handle it.

We spend our time doing it right, we make sure to take whatever time and effort is necessary to make it hot and memorable, romantic when it seems right. Maybe that's the whole "nurturer" thing. But then again, there will always be the prude SJ's, or prude of any types, so I can't speak for anyone. But I can speak for me! ;-)

 

[QuentinBeck]

I'm an SJ, and I suppose I'm a tad conversative. But by that I mean, I'm not living some day-to-day crazed porno adventure lol. We just aren't sexually frivolous. I will only have sex with one person, and if I decide to start relations with someone else, then I will stop having sex with the previous person and start with the next and be monogamous. I'm not interested in multiple partners or orgies, lol. But that's about it. If its with one person, especially when I get more comfortable, I will blow that person away. Seriously, they wonder what the hell happened to whatever sweet innocent person they thought they were involved with lol.

Here I was thinking there was something wrong with me because I never daydreamed about having threesomes or anything of the sort. I've always preferred the one-on-one interaction.

 

[earthangel]

Here I was thinking there was something wrong with me because I never daydreamed about having threesomes or anything of the sort. I've always preferred the one-on-one interaction.

Aww, no. I think its normal for us, to look for something close and fulfilling to enjoy it, and that we can't truly if its detached and for sport. I don't think its a bad thing to not want a threesome, lol.

 

[whimsical]

my girlfriend will only have sex with me if there is absolutely nobody around and the setting is safe

me on the other hand would do it anywhere if the moment was right

maybe its just cause im a guy

edit she's an isfj

 

[Shadow]

Wow, I'm amazed at how sensitive some people are not wanting to talk about sex on an internet forum (unless you've posted your picture, in which case I totally understand.) For me it's just not a big deal.

Same with a lot of the responses. I agree with those that say SJs aren't sexually promiscuous with loads of different partners and that we like to experiment a bit, just with one close partner. Personally I'm very sexually open, but my ISFJ boyfriend has much less of a libido than I do, and could go without sex for an age. He seems to like it if I try something 'exotic', but he'd never be the one to initiate that.

 

[Giggly]

Man, I really miss Bella. She was so awesome.

 

[Shaula]

I'd just like to say that I'd totally do an ISTJ right about now. Maybe an ESTJ too.

Any takers?
Preferrably male with a side of RAWR.

Same with a lot of the responses. I agree with those that say SJs aren't sexually promiscuous with loads of different partners and that we like to experiment a bit, just with one close partner. Personally I'm very sexually open, but my ISFJ boyfriend has much less of a libido than I do, and could go without sex for an age. He seems to like it if I try something 'exotic', but he'd never be the one to initiate that.

I'm curious to know what an ISTJ thinks is exotic? I mean don't they think deviating from ritual IS exotic?

 

[Habba]

Well, as an ISTJ I'm a very very private person. Whatever happens between me and my girlfriend in the bedroom stays just between me and my girlfriend.

Talking about 'it' is very discomfortable for me.

 

[simulatedworld]

Well, as an ISTJ I'm a very very private person. Whatever happens between me and my girlfriend in the bedroom stays just between me and my girlfriend.

Talking about 'it' is very discomfortable for me.

As is English, apparently.

 

[Shadow]

I'd just like to say that I'd totally do an ISTJ right about now. Maybe an ESTJ too.

Any takers?
Preferrably male with a side of RAWR.


I'm curious to know what an ISTJ thinks is exotic? I mean don't they think deviating from ritual IS exotic?

I'll answer you by answering Habba :

Well, as an ISTJ I'm a very very private person. Whatever happens between me and my girlfriend in the bedroom stays just between me and my girlfriend.

Talking about 'it' is very discomfortable for me.

I get that, and I wouldn't go into detail about exactly what we did, how, when and where etc. but there's a fine line between being a 'private person' and being a prude. (I'm not saying you are by the way, just in general)
For me, sex is a normal, healthy part of a relationship. I don't mind saying that I have sex with my boyfriend and it's not always the stereotypical 'missionary' image of it, as long as you don't probe further. I'm suspicious of people who don't even like to acknowledge that they have sex; what are they scared of?
It's probably an arena in which I'll have to agree to disagree with some people.

 

[Tiny Army]

SJs get laid? What?

 

[JocktheMotie]

I get that, and I wouldn't go into detail about exactly what we did, how, when and where etc. but there's a fine line between being a 'private person' and being a prude. (I'm not saying you are by the way, just in general)
For me, sex is a normal, healthy part of a relationship. I don't mind saying that I have sex with my boyfriend and it's not always the stereotypical 'missionary' image of it, as long as you don't probe further. I'm suspicious of people who don't even like to acknowledge that they have sex; what are they scared of?
It's probably an arena in which I'll have to agree to disagree with some people.

This is my SJ. It's like she's embarrassed to admit it, which I've never understood yet our sex life is really healthy and awesome.

 

[MacGuffin]

SJs can be kinky.