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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by ngannacvy View Post
    I sometimes feel like that but then I usually get to the root of my problems and solve it so that the feelings no longer comes back and "haunt" me, solving it is a very enlightening and spiritual experience for me and after words I feel Great. from your quote it sounds like you might be repressing something from the past, Sigmund Feud a well known psychologist explained how people tend to do that as a defense Mechanism, They would repress past memories because it could of been too painful for them at the time and not thinking about it helps them cope. I recommend that you try (if you want to) and do some introspection- which is looking in to yourself and describing what's there, or just taking time for yourself to think and ask yourself basic questions related to your feelings of sadness,(example of basic questions are:who, what, where, when, why, and how, and what if's, if you want to too.)

    and since you don't know why you're feeling sad I recommend that you check out "Maslow Hierarchy of Human Needs"(example underneath)he worked in the field of psychology too. Maybe that will help you figure out and narrow down what might be making you sad.

    And of course you as a rational would probably already know by now why it's important to first define what the problem is that's making you sad if you ever decide to solve it. I think your smart enough to come to that conclusion since you're a rational, and I use the "Rational decision-making methods"-A rational decision-making process is one that is logical and follows an orderly path from problem identification through to a solution.

    Physiological Needs
    These are biological needs. They consist of needs for oxygen, food, water, and a relatively constant body temperature. They are the strongest needs because if a person were deprived of all needs, the physiological ones would come first in the person's search for satisfaction.

    Safety Needs
    When all physiological needs are satisfied and are no longer controlling thoughts and behaviors, the needs for security can become active. Adults have little awareness of their security needs except in times of emergency or periods of disorganization in the social structure (such as widespread rioting). Children often display the signs of insecurity and the need to be safe.

    Needs of Love, Affection and Belongingness
    When the needs for safety and for physiological well-being are satisfied, the next class of needs for love, affection and belongingness can emerge. Maslow states that people seek to overcome feelings of loneliness and alienation. This involves both giving and receiving love, affection and the sense of belonging.

    Needs for Esteem
    When the first three classes of needs are satisfied, the needs for esteem can become dominant. These involve needs for both self-esteem and for the esteem a person gets from others. Humans have a need for a stable, firmly based, high level of self-respect, and respect from others. When these needs are satisfied, the person feels self-confident and valuable as a person in the world. When these needs are frustrated, the person feels inferior, weak, helpless and worthless.

    Needs for Self-Actualization
    When all of the foregoing needs are satisfied, then and only then are the needs for self-actualization activated. Maslow describes self-actualization as a person's need to be and do that which the person was "born to do." "A musician must make music, an artist must paint, and a poet must write." These needs make themselves felt in signs of restlessness. The person feels on edge, tense, lacking something, in short, restless. If a person is hungry, unsafe, not loved or accepted, or lacking self-esteem, it is very easy to know what the person is restless about. It is not always clear what a person wants when there is a need for self-actualization.

    But then you might just be grieving.Grieving is an act of love. It begins when someone or something you love is lost, and the stronger the love the greater the grief. The act of grieving honors you and the significance of your loss.

    The longer you live the more loss you experience. In order to grieve in healthy ways, you need to understand the stages of the grief process itself.


    This is the body/mind's way of saving you from the devastating pain of the loss, at least initially. It is a blessing at best, but at worst can become a long-term numbness to feelings that resembles a sort of living death. It will pass naturally as long as the other components of the grief process are honored.


    This is your mind's attempt to protect you from the reality of the loss. You may lie to yourself and think about the person as if they were still alive. A certain period of denial is normal but if prolonged, it can keep you stuck and prevent resolution. There are many forms of denial, as varied as people are different from each other.


    When you lose someone you love, it is natural to be angry for a period of time. You may be angry with the person for leaving you, angry with yourself for what you did not do to save them or angry with God for taking them away. You may just be angry at the unfairness and injustice of life. Healthy anger management techniques may be essential here.


    There seems to be a human tendency to blame yourself when something happens to a loved one. In loving someone, you automatically take some degree of responsibility for her or his welfare. It is only natural to question yourself for a period of time after your loved ones die. This is a normal part of the grief process, but it is extremely important that you move through it and don't get stuck in this stage.

    Pain And Sorrow

    These feelings often exist throughout the entire grief process, and are the core feelings of grief. In the early stages, however, you are often distracted from your sorrow by denial, anger, guilt and the resulting confusion. Fear can also be a tremendous barrier to the experience of sorrow, triggering all of the defense mechanisms. To truly face and experience the pain and sorrow is necessary and healthy however, and it moves you forward in the grief process. Working with love is the key for moving through this phase, because only love has the power to move us to the depths of our being where the greatest loss is registered.

    Release And Resolution

    This stage of the grief process is accompanied by a sense of acceptance of the reality of the loss, a sense of "letting go." There may also be a degree of forgiveness that occurs in this phase. The denial, guilt and anger stages are over, and the pain and sorrow is not as intense as it was before. Many people ask, "How long does it take?" The answer is different according to the severity of the loss and the health of the individual who is grieving. Grieving moves in cycles, and it may seem as if we are through for a substantial period of time. A birthday, anniversary or another loss can bring back many of the same feelings that were there when our loved one died. Any loss or low emotional period can bring back the feelings of loss, particularly if you have not reached resolution. When the release finally occurs, your entire body will feel it. I have watched many people go through emotional release in their grieving, and I am convinced that it is as much a physical, non-verbal process as it is verbal and conscious.

    Return To the Willingness To Love

    This is the final stage of the grieving process. Healing has occurred, and the grieving person is able to laugh again and to get involved in life. Fear can slow you down or even stop you at this point, because new love means the risk of new loss. By honoring and completing all aspects of the grief process, however, you will overcome your fear and move forward. This occurs through an appreciation for yourself and the life you are left to live. Nurturing your inner child is an excellent tool to use to help you through the entire grief process, and particularly as you move back out "into the world" after a period of grieving. Part of the return to love also includes remembering the love you felt for the one you lost. The love lives on and the anger, guilt, pain and sorrow fade away.

    This final stage of the grief process is ultimately a spiritual one. It is a fact that all of us on this planet will die. You need to have some way of living, laughing and loving with this reality. That's where spirituality comes in. True security cannot be found in another person or in any external circumstances. You have to turn within, to your own concept of the infinite, to ultimately find peace and security in a life that is only temporary in its tangible form.

    well those are just some of my suggestion of what might possibly help, as an INFP I hope it does help, but I would understand if it doesn't since it may not even be relevant to your problems, or feelings of sadness.

    Oh and these are just suggestions, You can't trust that these suggestions of mine will help you because I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm probably even younger and less experience than you. But somewhere deep down, I do hope this long message helps someone, or at least someone finds it interesting.
    Thank you INFP for taking the time to provide such a thoughtful answer, it helped me and I am sure it will help others. Blessings, ENFP Chick

  2. #42
    Member Dudesowin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2013


    I see ngannacvy nailed that one good. I would further recommend a can of sardines, a strong drink and good slap to the face.
    Mastery is its own reward.

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