I'm trying to figure out if my ex is an INTJ or ISTJ.
I'm in the computer field and know several very smart ISTJs. He shares some mannerisms and has a similar energy to some of the guys I've worked with.
To give you a general overview: He is very intense, which I don't usually pick up from ISTJs. He can be very blunt, which has its good side. However, he goes further and is often rude and obnoxious. Even he recognizes that he's 'a jerk' (his own words). He doesn't care what people think unless he considers them to be high value and therefore worthy of him. He acts as if he's superior to everyone else, especially intellectually. He gets very upset if a person doesn't take his opinion as fact. He can be very critical. Nobody is good enough for him. He is angry a lot and is considered verbally abusive by many people. When a person stands up to his abuse, he withdraws and sulks as a means of control. When he can't win a point, he resorts to sly and underhanded means of getting his own way.
He has very little love to give. He isn't even warm to family. He is good with dogs although I've seen him withdraw his affection when they've shown a flaw. He is close to his dog but he controls her weight by weighing and limiting her food. He does have intense feelings but he has a sort of delayed reaction to things. He has very few friends and may be the most disliked person I know. I'm pretty sure he's Fi and not Fe.
On the plus side, he's dutiful, reliable and responsible like an ISTJ. He likes to follow recipes to the letter and hates my more intuitive approach to cooking.
He seems to be Te in that he's always trying to tell others what to do and how to do things. He is very domineering and he ruins most relationships, especially friendships. He will be drawn to a successful man and start a friendship, almost an infatuation. Then, he slowly tries to dominate the other person. He'll test their boundaries by maybe shouting at them. If they fight back then he will make an excuse for his behavior but he's really just feeling for weaknesses. If he wasn't so obviously introverted I'd think he was an ENTJ.
We both have high IQs but we seem to think differently. I use Ni/Se but I'm not sure if he does too.
I use both brain hemispheres equally well (I'm not sure this is Ni). I'm good most technical subjects, Maths, as well as art, writing, etc. He's good at Mathematics and is logical although he doesn't get computer programming. He is not technical or artistic. I have a far better memory of personal things but he's far better at remembering historical facts like names, dates, events, etc. He comes off as more intellectual because of this. He is very interested in the news, politics, business. I don't pay a lot of attention to current events.
My thought process as a starburst. It's as if several thought processes start at once in parallel/batch (unconscious) mode to get as much breath and depth as possible. Any one of these may trigger a new bunch, spreading outward before converging back to a few conclusions. I don't know if he does this as he never verbalized his thoughts, only his conclusions. His speech is more organized than mine, more linear and quite deep. I get the sense that he can organize his thoughts better in his head than I can.
We both get a lot of ideas (possibilities) for products, businesses, etc. I get more inventions, art ideas, poems, songs, etc. We both think about the state of the world.
We both appreciate original art, Persian rugs and antiques. I'm more visual and my taste is better than his. He is very tactile and likes really good quality textiles.
Sometimes, he seems like a teenager as he's following the latest news about Katy Perry or some other young star. He likes coming of age movies, which just seems childish to me. He is fascinated by fame as is always trying to push me to seek it, first in my computer career, and art and now using my psychic/mediumship abilities even though he's a staunch atheist.
Even though he can afford it, he'll live in a dump so as to not spend money. He's affluent but, even a slight decrease in income will send him into depression and hopelessness. His energy is pulling inwards, conserving. Mine is more expansive. I'm as generous as he is miserly. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
I'm in the computer field and know several very smart ISTJs. He shares some mannerisms and has a similar energy to some of the guys I've worked with.
To give you a general overview: He is very intense, which I don't usually pick up from ISTJs. He can be very blunt, which has its good side. However, he goes further and is often rude and obnoxious. Even he recognizes that he's 'a jerk' (his own words). He doesn't care what people think unless he considers them to be high value and therefore worthy of him. He acts as if he's superior to everyone else, especially intellectually. He gets very upset if a person doesn't take his opinion as fact. He can be very critical. Nobody is good enough for him. He is angry a lot and is considered verbally abusive by many people. When a person stands up to his abuse, he withdraws and sulks as a means of control. When he can't win a point, he resorts to sly and underhanded means of getting his own way.
He has very little love to give. He isn't even warm to family. He is good with dogs although I've seen him withdraw his affection when they've shown a flaw. He is close to his dog but he controls her weight by weighing and limiting her food. He does have intense feelings but he has a sort of delayed reaction to things. He has very few friends and may be the most disliked person I know. I'm pretty sure he's Fi and not Fe.
On the plus side, he's dutiful, reliable and responsible like an ISTJ. He likes to follow recipes to the letter and hates my more intuitive approach to cooking.
He seems to be Te in that he's always trying to tell others what to do and how to do things. He is very domineering and he ruins most relationships, especially friendships. He will be drawn to a successful man and start a friendship, almost an infatuation. Then, he slowly tries to dominate the other person. He'll test their boundaries by maybe shouting at them. If they fight back then he will make an excuse for his behavior but he's really just feeling for weaknesses. If he wasn't so obviously introverted I'd think he was an ENTJ.
We both have high IQs but we seem to think differently. I use Ni/Se but I'm not sure if he does too.
I use both brain hemispheres equally well (I'm not sure this is Ni). I'm good most technical subjects, Maths, as well as art, writing, etc. He's good at Mathematics and is logical although he doesn't get computer programming. He is not technical or artistic. I have a far better memory of personal things but he's far better at remembering historical facts like names, dates, events, etc. He comes off as more intellectual because of this. He is very interested in the news, politics, business. I don't pay a lot of attention to current events.
My thought process as a starburst. It's as if several thought processes start at once in parallel/batch (unconscious) mode to get as much breath and depth as possible. Any one of these may trigger a new bunch, spreading outward before converging back to a few conclusions. I don't know if he does this as he never verbalized his thoughts, only his conclusions. His speech is more organized than mine, more linear and quite deep. I get the sense that he can organize his thoughts better in his head than I can.
We both get a lot of ideas (possibilities) for products, businesses, etc. I get more inventions, art ideas, poems, songs, etc. We both think about the state of the world.
We both appreciate original art, Persian rugs and antiques. I'm more visual and my taste is better than his. He is very tactile and likes really good quality textiles.
Sometimes, he seems like a teenager as he's following the latest news about Katy Perry or some other young star. He likes coming of age movies, which just seems childish to me. He is fascinated by fame as is always trying to push me to seek it, first in my computer career, and art and now using my psychic/mediumship abilities even though he's a staunch atheist.
Even though he can afford it, he'll live in a dump so as to not spend money. He's affluent but, even a slight decrease in income will send him into depression and hopelessness. His energy is pulling inwards, conserving. Mine is more expansive. I'm as generous as he is miserly. I'd love to hear your thoughts.
