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View Poll Results: What should I do?

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  1. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
    That’s interesting, do you think he could be a covert narc? He tried to make me feel bad for being upset with him talking only about himself, calling me “rude” and “coarse.” I don’t think he even realises his own narcissistic tendencies.

    You’re completely right, I’m bored with tears. He never has anything interesting to say. I’m done! I blocked him on everything. As you said, there’s no need for explanations so I didn’t give him any, he won’t learn.

    -I think there are ISFJ’s out there who have healthy Fe and Si, ISTJ just needs to keep looking! Si can get warped and be so focused on their own experiences and with an unhealthy Fe it can translate into a need for constant validation. Although, I do feel that ISTJS with a ESFP/ENFJ make for a great pair and God knows ISTJ deserves better.
    My brother's an ENTP and his wife is an IFJ, likely ISFJ. She doesn't talk about herself at all. She's very private. She'll discuss their vacations and things she's done during the day but the focus is primarily on others. She'd never call you rude or coarse, only changing the subject if something you've said offended her.

    It sounds like you did the right thing to block the narcissist. He also sounds mistyped.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
    You seem to have better Fe than him (intp’s usually have better Fe than they think... and are fun too). I think his Fe is quite unhealthy because it’s more a need to obey social norms (well, except for listening), do the custom thing. I just can’t imagine him partnering up for pranks which I love to do because he’d be too worried. My sister is an ESFJ, even with her Fe Dom she partners up for pranks and even manages to make it better. That’s the kind of spirit I was looking for!

    As to speaking to my brothers and male friends... he doesn’t like socialising. At all! I love being around people, the more the merrier. After work he likes to go straight home and be alone which I can understand but that’s just not me. It would be one thing if he was fun then I wouldn’t have minded.
    I'm sorry but that doesn't make sense, Fe would be the least, least emotional person, if ever, consideration of others. I would almost associate it with dismissive avoidant style.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by agentwashington View Post
    I think so, because narcs have this tendency to only be interested in themselves, and what they want from another person is narc supply. If you respond negatively, he will blame it on you. The bright side is that narcs tend not to be happy, because even though their happiness comes from another's expense, their lack of empathy means that they will be completely empty on the inside and will constantly seek narc supply.

    Though, I think confronting people may be cathartic on some level, but I have never really seen it work. I do think people like that need to be confronted more often, for moral reasons, but also I'm not one of those people who really will confront others, so...

    I'm not really thinking specifically about a type at the moment. But thank you! I've usually read that ESFP and ENFJ can be great partners for ISTJ, but I just... don't tend to meet them, plus they don't tend to find me very interesting. I do have a problem with unhealthy anything really, but unhealthy Fe in particular is very... annoying.
    So, I was basically just a supply to him... that’s what he means by wanting a motherly girlfriend, he’s a child that needs to fed attention, affection and validation. He’s never going to be happy until he finds a mother figure and I feel sorry for the poor woman who ends up with him.

    I confronted him when I had no idea that he could be a potential narcissist, but if I knew then perhaps you’re right that there would have been no point. But I had to see if he could change and perhaps he was just nervous but I don’t think it was just a case of nerves anymore. But try it still, it is cathartic and narcissists should be stood up to!

    The ESFP’s and ENFJ’s I know tend to love ISTJ’s because they have a very steadying presence which they sometimes lack. I’m sure you’re more interesting than you think you are! The ISTJ teachers (I think they were, they had that vibe) were awesome and my favourite teachers. Go for it next time you meet one! Unhealthy Fe or anything is annoying but if they genuinely are trying to make an effort, it counts for a lot.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    My brother's an ENTP and his wife is an IFJ, likely ISFJ. She doesn't talk about herself at all. She's very private. She'll discuss their vacations and things she's done during the day but the focus is primarily on others. She'd never call you rude or coarse, only changing the subject if something you've said offended her.

    It sounds like you did the right thing to block the narcissist. He also sounds mistyped.
    Lucky guy! She seems so wonderful, kind and exactly what I was expecting from an ISFJ. (Shame there seems to be more female ISFJ’s than male ones).

    What type do you think he possibly was if not ISFJ?

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    I'm sorry but that doesn't make sense, Fe would be the least, least emotional person, if ever, consideration of others. I would almost associate it with dismissive avoidant style.
    I have had an INTP and have an ISTP friend, both are really warm and caring. They’re quiet and quite socially awkward but regardless, they’ve always been really sweet and considerate of my feelings. They’re just not so socially comfortable sometimes which I don’t really mind tbh.

  6. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
    Lucky guy! She seems so wonderful, kind and exactly what I was expecting from an ISFJ. (Shame there seems to be more female ISFJ’s than male ones).

    What type do you think he possibly was if not ISFJ?
    There's insufficient information to even try to type him but from what you've stated, he doesn't appear to even remotely resemble an ISFJ. That said, who knows what NPD might do to an ISFJ, perhaps create a close group who are beholden to them for past services rendered, in exchange for admiration. But the guy who you were chatting with does nothing for you and only talks himself up.
    Likes Peter Deadpan liked this post

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by bechimo View Post
    There's insufficient information to even try to type him but from what you've stated, he doesn't appear to even remotely resemble an ISFJ. That said, who knows what NPD might do to an ISFJ, perhaps create a close group who are beholden to them for past services rendered, in exchange for admiration. But the guy who you were chatting with does nothing for you and only talks himself up.
    I mentioned that I was watching The Big Bang Theory and he immediately said that he strongly relates to Sheldon. When I said Sheldon seems like he would be difficult to cope with and that my favourite is Howard because of his sense of humour, he replied that the next character he is most like is ‘Howard’ which is BS, he didn’t come across anything like Howard. But Sheldon I can see, so I’m guessing he may be an INTx in actuality.

  8. #18
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    I don’t think it’s exactly right just to label narc on someone right away just because they talk about themselves too much. That’s a hasty conclusion right there.

    Narcissistic is an extreme of overly selfish.

    He could have poor social skills and doesn’t know stuff outside himself.

    You’re very attractive so refer back to previous statement.

    He’s not interested in you but is lonely and hoping maybe things might change.

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hellomynameis View Post
    I mentioned that I was watching The Big Bang Theory and he immediately said that he strongly relates to Sheldon. When I said Sheldon seems like he would be difficult to cope with and that my favourite is Howard because of his sense of humour, he replied that the next character he is most like is ‘Howard’ which is BS, he didn’t come across anything like Howard. But Sheldon I can see, so I’m guessing he may be an INTx in actuality.
    I don't watch the show but it's widely rumoured that the Sheldon Cooper character is on the spectrum. It's possible this guy is too since people on the spectrum can be confused for narcissists. Who knows but I honestly can't imagine anyone on the spectrum, typing as an ISFJ unless they responded to the questions as what they wish to be, rather than who they are.

  10. #20
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    I know this is so late but I just realised... perhaps, he’s just socially awkward and needs someone to baby him. He’s probably not a narcissist nor has aspergers, just incredibly socially awkward. And I think you guys are right, he’s no ISFJ, a Fe-aux would be able to gauge how I’m feeling. I think he’s an INFP, a really unhealthy one. Just an unhealthy me, me, me Fi-dom, definitely not INTP, a Ti would understand the logic of me being annoyed for someone talking constantly about themselves. Either way, I’m not digging Fi-doms, if he isn’t a Fe-Dom or Fe-aux, he isn’t for me.

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