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  1. #1
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    Default INFJ MOM LOOKING FOR ADVICE FOR RAISING POSSIBLE ENTP DAUGHTER?

    Hi all,

    im an INFJ mom and currently having a dilemma on how to raise my 6 yrs old daughter. i know that shes too young for MBTI profiling, but what i need right now is just a guidance on how to raise her and properly understand her. since i feel that we have totally 180 degrees different personalities, and all the arguments and fights everyday is just making my adrenal fatigue getting worst. (i will be very sluggish and has mild to medium muscle pain when im in stress).

    long story short this is what i notice:

    shes been as stubborn as ever since shes a toddler.
    very persistence on what she wants. tantrum, rolling on the floor, stomping since 1 yrs old. (and no, we're not spoiling her).
    by the time shes able to crawl, she would explore everything, touch everything, and shes a very curious girl. (the thing that she hate was being put inside the crib).
    after shes able to walk, she will walk everywhere and shes not afraid of strangers.
    she doesn't really like being kiss or cuddle. sometimes she will ask for a hug but only for short time, and after that she will leave and continue with her activities. (not the clingy type).
    shes not easily cry. usually anger that will make her cry. or afraid being rejected by her friends (friend is number one for her).
    she didnt cried when she went to school for the first time. even though other kids cried. she would just stare at them. and she would later on brag to me about not crying.
    she really loves compliments and always ask for one. even sometimes takes other peoples credit just for the sake of compliment. (even though i always give her compliments but it seems never enough).
    she hates sleeping time. for her sleeping time is like a punishment because she cant play. and she would fight hard for it. (arguments) she seldom take a nap ever since shes little.
    she hates personal hygiene routines, like bath, brushing teeth, and hates being combed.
    she know what she wants and will insist on her decision (clothing, etc), she likes sparkly things and being different (in fashion sense)
    very argumentative, i mean whatever you told her she would just ask why, and keep on resisting and giving arguments. on everything.
    ive tried so many things like time out, time in, even slap her hand (when im on my wits end and i regret it), confiscate toys, no tvs and shes still doing what she wants.
    she has no sensitivity to others, i mean you have to tell her about being nice and helpful and stuff (im someone who even absorb other peoples energy, so i find it hard to understand her insensitivity).
    she doesnt like school for the responsibility part. but shes like to meet her friends, and play. homework time is a torture for her n me.
    she loves to play first and do the homework later (procrastinate).
    she wouldnt care getting low grades in school. but actually shes quite smart.
    she wouldnt mind messy, and she wouldnt care about dirty places either.
    she cannot play alone (love interaction). she will pestering me around to play all day, and usually make me super tired physically and emotionally.
    she loves art, drawing, dancing. but easily bored.
    she loves to collect stuff, paper, card, sea shells,and quickly lose the items.
    she loves to dismember barbies, or drawing on barbies and ponies. (every toy that she touch will be ruin in a matter of days, sometimes hours)
    she doesnt like routine and doesnt care about it even though i taught her since shes little (im a very routine person).
    she doesnt care if shes late to school, or being scold by her teacher. i mean if shes being scolded, she seems to care only for around 10 mins, and forget about it.
    shes introvert when shes in school, quiet, reserve, and need other people to start the interaction first, but at home shes super loud and bouncy.
    shes very competitive up to the point that she would cheat in playing. but once she know that she would lose, she would scrap the idea altogether and bounce to other activities.

    i think thats all that i can remember for now. sorry for this rambling and long post. i just feel on my wits end since its really hard for me to understand her with our personalities differences.

    any positive comments would be appreciated.

  2. #2
    Senior Member wildmoon's Avatar
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    What are the main issues that you're struggling with and main areas where your personalities clash? She sounds like a normal little kid to me. Kids always get stubborn and throw tantrums.

    "she hates personal hygiene routines, like bath, brushing teeth, and hates being combed" - I think I can explain this part. Many children are extremely sensitive to sensory phenomena and changes in the physical environment. It's just physically really uncomfortable, even painful, for them. I was one of those kids and I hated having my hair combed, having my shirt tucked in, wearing itchy jumpers, and getting out of the bath when it was cold. It can also be frustrating for kids having other people constantly control their physical state. I think with those routines the best that you can do is try to make it comfortable and reassure her that it will be over soon.

    "she has no sensitivity to others, i mean you have to tell her about being nice and helpful and stuff" - ah, that's a hard one, because lots of kids don't fully develop the empathy faculty of their brains until much later in life. It's why kids can be so mean! I guess you've just got to keep telling her, and maybe teach her about gardening or animal care, something that would help her think about what it would be like to care for another living thing. Apparently reading to kids also helps kickstart their empathy, especially if you read stories with lots of metaphors. There have been studies on it and everything.

    I think one of the most important things to do is to always try to understand where she's coming from, whether by asking her directly or asking other people about it like you're doing now. Personalities shouldn't be thought of as an obstacle, especially when she's only 6.

    Good luck!!

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildmoon View Post
    What are the main issues that you're struggling with and main areas where your personalities clash? She sounds like a normal little kid to me. Kids always get stubborn and throw tantrums. "she hates personal hygiene routines, like bath, brushing teeth, and hates being combed" - I think I can explain this part. Many children are extremely sensitive to sensory phenomena and changes in the physical environment. It's just physically really uncomfortable, even painful, for them. I was one of those kids and I hated having my hair combed, having my shirt tucked in, wearing itchy jumpers, and getting out of the bath when it was cold. It can also be frustrating for kids having other people constantly control their physical state. I think with those routines the best that you can do is try to make it comfortable and reassure her that it will be over soon. "she has no sensitivity to others, i mean you have to tell her about being nice and helpful and stuff" - ah, that's a hard one, because lots of kids don't fully develop the empathy faculty of their brains until much later in life. It's why kids can be so mean! I guess you've just got to keep telling her, and maybe teach her about gardening or animal care, something that would help her think about what it would be like to care for another living thing. Apparently reading to kids also helps kickstart their empathy, especially if you read stories with lots of metaphors. There have been studies on it and everything. I think one of the most important things to do is to always try to understand where she's coming from, whether by asking her directly or asking other people about it like you're doing now. Personalities shouldn't be thought of as an obstacle, especially when she's only 6. Good luck!!
    thank u so much! ur answer is really helpful. yes i know shes still too little to be labeled. and i really want to embrace her personalities. and i want to raise her to her fullest potential whatever her personalities is. i keep your advice in mind.
    the difference about me n her. is ive been a very sensitive kid since i was a lil kid as far as i can remember. whatever my mom felt. i feel like i could feel it too. as if it transverse into me. while my kid is really different. well i know because we are different human being. ive always an obedient kid. while shes always arguing everything from clothes to food to bedtime.

  4. #4
    Senior Member wildmoon's Avatar
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    You're welcome! I'm sure you'll do great.

  5. #5
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    The all caps makes me think this is a missing child report

    🙄

  6. #6
    Junior Member DragTV's Avatar
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    just..raise her well. do not ignore her when she is talking to you. She is 6, her ''personality'' is not fully set yet. so don't be ''dead set'' on the whole ''your daughter is ENTP'' idea

  7. #7
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    6 is way too young to be slapping on a Myers Briggs type. At 6, they’re just beginning to become their own person, and it’s hardly consistent.

    If your child is having serious behavioral issues you feel overwhelmed by, I highly recommend speaking with a child psychologist. Not to diagnose your kid with any sort of illness, but because a good child psych will have a huge knowledge base around cognitive development, with tools & skills to individually help you & your child implement/maintain the changes necessary for a happy, healthy home life. They can observe the specific dynamics between you & your child, & offer new insights/coaching tailored to you. Random people on a forum cannot.

    Good luck.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  8. #8
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    Hahaha just realized that you could technically slap Ne on any child in a sense because people say Ne resembles a child like persona.

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