[Fi] NTJs: how does Fi manifest in your type?

[Venom]

NTJs: How does Fi manifest in your type? Both examples and just random musings would work...

 

[INTJMom]

NTJs: How does Fi manifest in your type? Both examples and just random musings would work...

I'm a novice at the processes.
Would you mind defining it for me?

 

[Venom]

I'm a novice at the processes.
Would you mind defining it for me?

it is often hard to assign words to the values used to make introverted Feeling judgments since they are often associated with images, feeling tones, and gut reactions more than words. As a cognitive process, it often serves as a filter for information that matches what is valued, wanted, or worth believing in. There can be a continual weighing of the situational worth or importance of everything and a patient balancing of the core issues of peace and conflict in life’s situations. We engage in the process of introverted Feeling when a value is compromised and we think, “Sometimes, some things just have to be said.” On the other hand, most of the time this process works “in private” and is expressed through actions. It helps us know when people are being fake or insincere or if they are basically good. It is like having an internal sense of the “essence” of a person or a project and reading fine distinctions among feeling tones.

The Relief Role (Tertiary) (sometimes referred to as the 3rd function)
The relief role gives us a way to energize and recharge ourselves. It serves as a backup to the supporting role and often works in tandem with it. When we are younger, we might not engage in the process that plays this role very much unless our life circumstances require it or make it hard to use the supporting role process. Usually, in young adulthood we are attracted to activities that draw upon this process. The relief role often is how we express our creativity. It is how we are playful and childlike. In its most negative expression, this is how we become childish. Then it has an unsettling quality, and we can use this process to distract ourselves and others, getting us off target.

The Aspirational Role (Inferior) (sometimes referred to as the 4th function)
The aspirational role usually doesn’t develop until around midlife. We often experience it first in its negative aspect of projecting our “shoulds,” fears, and negativities onto others. The qualities of these fears reflect the process that plays this role, and we are more likely to look immature when we engage in the process that plays this role. There is often a fairly high energy cost for using it—even when we acquire the skill to do so. As we learn to trust it and develop it, the aspirational role process provides a bridge to balance in our lives. Often our sense of purpose, inspiration, and ideals have the qualities of the process that plays this role.

Introverted Feeling: Valuing; considering importance and worth; reviewing for incongruity; evaluating something based on the truths on which it is based; clarifying values to achieve accord; deciding if something is of significance and worth standing up for. Evaluating whether you like an outfit or not: “This outfit suits me and feels right.”

I think that might help.

 

[Usehername]

In extreme circumstances (dealing with death of teen cousins twice) my Fi has towed me to the bottom of the sea, feeling deep angst and compassion and searching for an understanding for how my loved ones also left behind feel, how my loved ones who died too young felt as they were dying, and general brooding about the point of life.
It has also helped me gain compassion for others, as not all of my family members processed the deaths in healthy ways, and their lack of doing so affects their lives in negative ways today. It helps me see more clearly how they feel.

Before I'd learned about MBTI, I had seen it in IxTJ teachers and recognized a commonality with them when they knew students were having personal trouble, myself included once. They maintained Te in the classroom and later when no one is looking, privately placed their hand on a student's shoulder and acknowledged their personal struggling with a small smile of hope and compassionate eyes, or went out of their way to accommodate someone's hurting. (When one of my cousins died 36 hours before my Organic Chem Final and I told my INTJ prof I was worried about simply holding my composure for the 3 hour sitting since it was my first experience with death and I kept dissolving into tears, my extraordinarily busy prof who was a mom of 4 offered last-minute and without hesitation to have me write the exam privately so she could let me have the time I needed to write a proper Final. I just wanted to get it over with as I had 4 other exams coming up and was overwhelmed. I ended up just writing it with the class but she was extremely thoughtful.)

In less serious circumstances, my Fi lets me be candid about my feelings (now that I've developed my Fi so strongly) though I don't demonstrate the feelings so much as verbally or textually express them. My CP order is actually Ni-Fi-Te.

 

[INTJMom]

The part of the definitions that I relate to most are those that describe weighing the value of something. I constantly do this. Everything is evaluated based on whether the effort put in is going to be worth what I get out. These are usually snap decisions based on what I have already decided is important to me in life. I can be talked out of my decision if someone gives me additional reasons why it would be worth it for me to do such-and-such.

For instance, why vacuum the carpet, when in 15 minutes, it will be dirty again?
Not gonna waste my time.

Why spend 2 hours preparing a meal that will take 15 minutes to devour?
Not happening.

I have learned that sometimes it's not important to tell someone my opinion. Other times, I am struck so deeply that I must speak up and I cannot keep silent.

I am always evaluating people's motives, and I am convinced that I am always right.

As my tertiary function, I think that may be where my songwriting comes from.

I am driven to evaluate for consistency.

 

[INTJMom]

In extreme circumstances (dealing with death of teen cousins twice) my Fi has towed me to the bottom of the sea, feeling deep angst and compassion and searching for an understanding for how my loved ones also left behind feel, how my loved ones who died too young felt as they were dying, and general brooding about the point of life.
It has also helped me gain compassion for others, as not all of my family members processed the deaths in healthy ways, and their lack of doing so affects their lives in negative ways today. It helps me see more clearly how they feel.

Before I'd learned about MBTI, I had seen it in IxTJ teachers and recognized a commonality with them when they knew students were having personal trouble, myself included once. They maintained Te in the classroom and later when no one is looking, privately placed their hand on a student's shoulder and acknowledged their personal struggling with a small smile of hope and compassionate eyes, or went out of their way to accommodate someone's hurting. (When one of my cousins died 36 hours before my Organic Chem Final and I told my INTJ prof I was worried about simply holding my composure for the 3 hour sitting since it was my first experience with death and I kept dissolving into tears, my extraordinarily busy prof who was a mom of 4 offered last-minute and without hesitation to have me come over to her place and write the exam privately so she could let me have the time I needed to write a proper Final. I just wanted to get it over with as I had 4 other exams coming up and was overwhelmed. I ended up just writing it with the class but she was extremely thoughtful.)

In less serious circumstances, my Fi lets me be candid about my feelings (now that I've developed my Fi so strongly) though I don't demonstrate the feelings so much as verbally or textually express them. My CP order is actually Ni-Fi-Te.

Like that teacher, I have an uncanny habit of being drawn to the person in the room in the most private pain.

 

[Eryndil]

I'm INTx but I seem to have a well developed Fi (as opposed to my extremely under-developed Fe). I tend to have very strong values and an inner sense of right and wrong. I am also very aware of my own feelings and the reasons for them. I can feel compassion very deeply (to the extent of crying with empathy for someone I have never met) but I probably wouldn't be able to tell them that or give them any kind of comforting words.

 

[Venom]

would any of you relate to: the desire to understand your emotions in a cause and effect sort of way? when I was younger I would feel like a slave to whatever i was feeling, if i had some strong feeling...like even though I would know why...i would just have to ride it out. If im in a certain mood, I have to listen to music that fits that mood, no matter how much I like some other song irrespective of the current mood.



I was hoping there would be more responses. I could use more than an n= 3 for my psudo-study

 

[INTJMom]

would any of you relate to: the desire to understand your emotions in a cause and effect sort of way? when I was younger I would feel like a slave to whatever i was feeling, if i had some strong feeling...like even though I would know why...i would just have to ride it out. If im in a certain mood, I have to listen to music that fits that mood, no matter how much I like some other song irrespective of the current mood.

Definitely. I would be driven to evaluate what I was feeling and why. Then I would agonize over whether or not I had the right to feel that way! I'm still a slave to my feelings, though not as badly.

 

[Uytuun]

I wrote a poem yesterday...which helped me to understand/grasp (the nature of) what I was feeling. So there.

Fi seems to work with Ni for me, making me feel very deeply, but in a non-concrete or person-oriented way. It's a flow, yeah, and you have to ride it and it's definitely introverted.

As for the judging aspect, I've noticed I can get exessively upset about injustice, unfairness, unfair representations, lies...but again, about the concept of it, the idea of it, not the result. My strongest reactions occur when I am the victim of the injustice. Otherwise I'll be empathic, but not indignant.

Speaking of empathy, an example: I will get upset when people don't make the effort to talk to a new person that's introduced into the group (a boyfriend of a girl in our group of friends, for example) and the new person is standing around in silence, but I thinks it stems from the fact that *I* wouldn't want to be in his situation, because it violates my principles, my ideas of "ideal" human interaction (and as an INTJ such situations used to be particularly difficult). I can put myself into the other person's shoes and live their pain. Now that I mention this, that's probably also what drives me to action - I go up to them and talk because I can sense their distress and it makes me uncomfortable. This process possesses an urgency that I recognise in my ESFP friend and that appears to be much less expressed in my INFJ friend. In that situation, I actually feel bad about/frustrated with the fact that the rest of my friends (except for the ESFP then) remain so apathetic, apparently they don't pick up the feeling.

I guess it's very subject-oriented despite the fact that it can come across as catering to people, which it is I suppose. This last aspect might also be the reason why I am less "dominant" in a relationship than I am in all the other parts of my life. I think that this is something that other INTJs have mentioned as well.

 

[INTJMom]

I wrote a poem yesterday...which helped me to understand/grasp (the nature of) what I was feeling. So there.

Fi seems to work with Ni for me, making me feel very deeply, but in a non-concrete or person-oriented way. It's a flow, yeah, and you have to ride it and it's definitely introverted.

As for the judging aspect, I've noticed I can get exessively upset about injustice, unfairness, unfair representations, lies...but again, about the concept of it, the idea of it, not the result. My strongest reactions occur when I am the victim of the injustice. Otherwise I'll be empathic, but not indignant.

Speaking of empathy, an example: I will get upset when people don't make the effort to talk to a new person that's introduced into the group (a boyfriend of a girl in our group of friends, for example) and the new person is standing around in silence, but I thinks it stems from the fact that *I* wouldn't want to be in his situation, because it violates my principles, my ideas of "ideal" human interaction (and as an INTJ such situations used to be particularly difficult). I can put myself into the other person's shoes and live their pain. Now that I mention this, that's probably also what drives me to action - I go up to them and talk because I can sense their distress and it makes me uncomfortable. This process possesses an urgency that I recognise in my ESFP friend and that appears to be much less expressed in my INFJ friend. In that situation, I actually feel bad about/frustrated with the fact that the rest of my friends (except for the ESFP then) remain so apathetic, apparently they don't pick up the feeling.

I guess it's very subject-oriented despite the fact that it can come across as catering to people, which it is I suppose. This last aspect might also be the reason why I am less "dominant" in a relationship than I am in all the other parts of my life. I think that this is something that other INTJs have mentioned as well.

I second all that.

 

[Kasper]

Thirded

 

[MacGuffin]

I can put myself into the other person's shoes and live their pain. Now that I mention this, that's probably also what drives me to action - I go up to them and talk because I can sense their distress and it makes me uncomfortable.

A bit of Fe at work perhaps too?

 

[Uytuun]

A bit of Fe at work perhaps too?

I'm not entirely devoid of Fe, naturally, but wouldn't going up to them be anti-Fe? The reaction of my friends often indicates that I'm doing something outside of the established social norms, I go there to address what lies beneath, because it tugs at me, not to define roles and figure out social relationship status by interacting with them.

Extraverted Feeling

I like this description of Fe.

I've noticed that you can actually see the difference in the gifts you are given. A Fi user will give you a more personalised, original, quirky gift, a Fe user will give you a gift that corresponds with your role in society and in their lives, with the nature of the event etc.

 

[proteanmix]

I've noticed that you can actually see the difference in the gifts you are given. A Fi user will give you a more personalised, original, quirky gift, a Fe user will give you a gift that corresponds with your role in society and in their lives, with the nature of the event etc.

Cripes, Fe is a tad more flexible than that.

 

[Uytuun]

Then mentally add modifiers such as "more" and "are more likely to", "tend to" or "underlying their gift more often is" to the sentence.

*lacks Fe* Actually it did briefly cross my mind that the sentence was a bit strong and might offend people, but it apparently wasn't enough for me to change it - that's not what it was about for me. I've run into trouble with a couple of INFJs because of this very thing.

Anyhow, would you disagree?

 

[MacGuffin]

I'm not entirely devoid of Fe, naturally, but wouldn't going up to them be anti-Fe? The reaction of my friends often indicates that I'm doing something outside of the established social norms, I go there to address what lies beneath, because it tugs at me, not to define roles and figure out social relationship status by interacting with them.

Extraverted Feeling

I like this description of Fe.

I've noticed that you can actually see the difference in the gifts you are given. A Fi user will give you a more personalised, original, quirky gift, a Fe user will give you a gift that corresponds with your role in society and in their lives, with the nature of the event etc.

Fe doesn't follow established norms all the time anymore than Te follows established thinking. Sometimes Fe just lets you connect with another person, social norms be dammed.

 

[Eryndil]

would any of you relate to: the desire to understand your emotions in a cause and effect sort of way? when I was younger I would feel like a slave to whatever i was feeling, if i had some strong feeling...like even though I would know why...i would just have to ride it out. If im in a certain mood, I have to listen to music that fits that mood, no matter how much I like some other song irrespective of the current mood.

I was hoping there would be more responses. I could use more than an n= 3 for my psudo-study

I can relate to that. Most of my life, I've been analysing my emotions (along with everything else!) so I usually understand what has caused a particular feeling. Unfortunately, that doesn't make it any easier to change how I feel. My situation is that I can usually control my emotions but when they are strong, they tend to control me instead.

I do find myself drawn to music that reflects my mood. Sometimes I try to resist that temptation and listen to a more upbeat tune if I'm feeling bad. Very occasionally it works, but it's difficult to do.

 

[Totenkindly]

I... A Fi user will give you a more personalised, original, quirky gift, a Fe user will give you a gift that corresponds with your role in society and in their lives, with the nature of the event etc.

Meh. Maybe if you're discussing it as a primary or perhaps secondary, but once you veer into tertiary land, it can go either way depending on situation/context.

(Because also at that point, if Fi or Fe is your 3rd/4th function, that means you have either an S or an N with more dominance up front, and those things HEAVILY drive practicality vs quirk.)

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

I've focused on Fi extremely lot during my burnout years.. I've watched various TV drama series featuring unhappy love, drank booze and cried my eyes out.. Then, there has been happiness from doing what I consider right.. there has been extremely lot going on with my feelings for many years. I've longed for contact, mutual harmony, and disappointed of the world's cruelty. I've exposed myself to feelings freely; searched what they say, where they'll lead me. I've found direction in that.

Then again, I've observed how Fi betrays people and makes them attach to suboptimal solutions.. how it gives rise to unsubstantiated "theories". Aware of my emotions, I've felt what I've felt, and thought Fi isn't the winner function for me. It isn't much involved in any winning strategy in anything.. not much personally, anyway. It's good to be able to use Fi sometimes, but I guess I don't use it that much anymore, or at least I don't think about it that much anymore.

I'm still moved to tears now and then, which I consider good; mostly, I just lack empathy, though I can deduct what the other person's feelings are. Then again, Fi matters to me every day when I think of what kind of food I'd like, what company, music, etc.. and I measure my quality of life a lot by what kinds of feelings I've experienced with Fi. So I guess I still use Fi alot, though in a less dramatic manner.