[ENTJ] How do ENTJs become likeable and less threatening to others?

[LadyJaye]

Insubordination seems like an adequate name for it. And we don't want pushovers I think. Not as friends anyway. Maybe as underlings. But I do believe that many of us are kind of narrowed in on "logic" thinking, and it causes trouble when arguing a point with someone that doesn't seem to get it. And we don't want people around who can't see things our way at some level. I believe it is sheer arrogance

So do the women you date place within the underling or equal catagories?

 

[ajblaise]

The problem with NTJ's is that they can become irrational in their rigidity. They can rush to a incorrect conclusion based on insufficient or flawed evidence. But their saving grace is that they will at least be willing to discuss their beliefs, usually in a detached and consistent manner.

 

[Valiant]

Wouldn't date anyone I considered below me in any way, I think. Pysical appearance isn't that important, though. But somewhat.

 

[Kess]

How do ENTJs become likeable and less threatening to others?

Hmm...? I noticed that when I'm more spiritual or engage in spiritual activities (praying, fasting, meditating, etc) I become more likeable and less threatening to others. Somehow, spirituality helps me become more empathetic, keeps me more grounded and focused on the really important things in life. Otherwise, I may be too focused on results and insensitive to the impact of my actions on others.

 

[Lucifer]

Well said, Lucifer. You could be a storyteller.

Not entirely sure how you ment it but, I'll think of it as a compliment.

 

[Valiant]

It was, it sounded kind of heroic Especially the ending.

 

[Lucifer]

Jesus I had a revelation after Kess's post.

When I play hockey, my teamates love me. The goalie loves me because I will block shots, and if anyone touches him I'll let him know its not something he should do again. The players love me because I can come up with the big plays when there needed and because I never give up. They know I am always right behind them in any situation and I can make extremely unselfish plays.

This leads me to the revelation; I think our type is destined to be like this, the only problem is:

The other team is never going to like us. Never. We are extremely polarizing people, so either you are on the same team as us, or you aren't.

 

[Valiant]

Yeah... I see exactly what you mean by that. I can lose myself entirely in competitive sports. Especially the ones containing violence. It's not safe to let me loose in a game of paintball or such..

And I know I have a problem with my opinions, I create enemies here and there. But I try to tone it down and only argue if it's important.

 

[LadyJaye]

And I know I have a problem with my opinions, I create enemies here and there. But I try to tone it down and only argue if it's important.

You confess this now?! I install you as ruler of the South Sandwich Islands, and this is what you tell me?

*sigh*

The Postmaster isn't going to like you at all.

 

[IlyaK1986]

Jesus I had a revelation after Kess's post.

When I play hockey, my teamates love me. The goalie loves me because I will block shots, and if anyone touches him I'll let him know its not something he should do again. The players love me because I can come up with the big plays when there needed and because I never give up. They know I am always right behind them in any situation and I can make extremely unselfish plays.

This leads me to the revelation; I think our type is destined to be like this, the only problem is:

The other team is never going to like us. Never. We are extremely polarizing people, so either you are on the same team as us, or you aren't.

HAHAHAHAHA!

Well put. You either love us or hate us.

 

[Valiant]

You confess this now?! I install you as ruler of the South Sandwich Islands, and this is what you tell me?

*sigh*

The Postmaster isn't going to like you at all.

LOL

I don't want to be trapped on that piece of rock and ice!!! >.<

 

[Lucifer]

And I know I have a problem with my opinions, I create enemies here and there. But I try to tone it down and only argue if it's important.

Well I define important as: everything.

 

[LadyJaye]

Well put. You either love us or hate us.

I'd say there's a lot of both occurring simultaneously. I've always had that conflict going on with my ENTJs.

LOL

I don't want to be trapped on that piece of rock and ice!!! >.<

Ingrate. Where's your sense of challenge?!

 

[violaine]

How do ENTJs become likeable and less threatening to others?

How do you view ENTJs?

Be magnanimous, that's when ENTJs are at their best! My Dad is ENTJ, so I have an appreciation for their style (hehe, I also know how to duck and weave the controlling stuff quite well.) I love the strong and generous ones.

What would you like to see more of from ENTJs?

In everyday life and for the people you care about it's great when an ENTJ clues you in on their processes a little. Why they are making a certain decision. It demonstrates awareness of other people, not just results or realizing your own grand plan. Be a little more collaborative even if you feel it's beneath you, others appreciate it. Fight the urge to dominate absolutely everything. For some your presence in the room is often forceful enough. Those things will soften the way an ENTJ comes off to others...

What could you do without?

Could do without everything having to escalate to full scale battle! Pick your battles if you can...

 

[FDG]

I got why I dislike lucifer so much. It's because I'm God QED

 

[ThatGirl]

Be magnanimous, that's when ENTJs are at their best! My Dad is ENTJ, so I have an appreciation for their style (hehe, I also know how to duck and weave the controlling stuff quite well.) I love the strong and generous ones.



In everyday life and for the people you care about it's great when an ENTJ clues you in on their processes a little. Why they are making a certain decision. It demonstrates awareness of other people, not just results or realizing your own grand plan. Be a little more collaborative even if you feel it's beneath you, others appreciate it. Fight the urge to dominate absolutely everything. For some your presence in the room is often forceful enough. Those things will soften the way an ENTJ comes off to others...




Could do without everything having to escalate to full scale battle! Pick your battles if you can...

I get what you are saying, but I dont think that ENTJs do what they do because they think they are beneath everyone. I believe that insecurity belongs to the other. But keeping with the NTs in general, wouldn't having to stop and explain all the time be counterproductive to whatever goal is in mind. It is like the world has to give permission first, thats frusterating. People often respond with deffiance that wouldn't normally exist if they werent feeling intimidated? So the very presence causes conflict?

 

[violaine]

I get what you are saying, but I dont think that ENTJs do what they do because they think they are beneath everyone. I believe that insecurity belongs to the other. But keeping with the NTs in general, wouldn't having to stop and explain all the time be counterproductive to whatever goal is in mind. It is like the world has to give permission first, thats frusterating. People often respond with deffiance that wouldn't normally exist if they werent feeling intimidated? So the very presence causes conflict?

Sorry, I should have put an lol after the "beneath you" crack, I was thinking of my Dad who is prone to that. (It doesn't bother me coming from him.)

I agree that having to stop and explain things is somewhat counterproductive to the ENTJ achieving their goals, but you were asking what would make an ENTJ less threatening and better liked by others. ENTJs can be very efficient and task focused, including people in that focus is required in order to be better liked. I'm not saying to ask for permission, just to let people in on what you've decided sometimes and perhaps what your process was behind that if possible. Even doing that after the fact is helpful.

 

[entropie]

How do ENTJs become likeable and less threatening to others?

How do you view ENTJs?

What would you like to see more of from ENTJs?

What could you do without?

The thing is, I never saw and still dont see ENTJ as a threat or less-likeable.

Those things have come through the media

 

[Valiant]

Would an ENTJ still be an ENTJ if he changed his offensive habits and became more laid back? I think that'd make for an INTP, as I think they and ENTP's are normally the most laid back and cool people out there.

 

[Ghost of the dead horse]

Would an ENTJ still be an ENTJ if he changed his offensive habits and became more laid back? I think that'd make for an INTP, as I think they and ENTP's are normally the most laid back and cool people out there.

I guess this has been talked over through and through, ENTJ with sugarcoating can approach any type in how laid back they are, and easy going. At least for me, I'm seeing a window in my situation for alternate behavior; I know I can avoid burnout, for example, by really tuning in to the feelings of the moment and really being laid back. If I've set up the time for it and I know I can do it, I can let myself go and enjoy it. Should the prequisites for such opportunity go away, I would start acting in a determined manner.

There are many kinds of chores to do. Some of them can be done with apparent determination, others need pleasing someone. For example, making everyone enjoy in a social situation. I love it, it's fun - it's just that I would not get into a loop of always being the funny man and neglecting my duties.

I think an effective ENTJ can act situationally to meet the needs of the situation, so that the grand plan is rock hard, while the appearance of the ENTJ might not be.

Balanced ENTJ can actually seem and feel pleasant while they're doing their duties, for the benefit of everyone around them, and themselves, too.