[Ti] Ti and vulnerability

[Chilichimichanga]

Anyone else with Ti likes to deal with their problems alone and hates being vulnerable? I'm just thinking there's a connection between Ti and being uncomfortable being vulnerable. So if anyone reading this you can just give your random thoughts on why it happens and also why you hate being vulnerable.

 

[kotoshinohaisha]

I actually likes to deal with my problems alone.. Although i sometimes share it xD just because i just wanna share it. XD but i am more better way off dealing my own problems.. Probably because yeah i don't want others to see me weak? [emoji14] i mean, it's my own problem.. And i somehow know how to fix it.. And whenever I'm trying to ask for someone's help.. I feel like it's no use and my solution is better xD lols. XD but sometimes ofcourse they're solutions is better.. And i take it.. But usually yeah, well.. I don't really take their solutions.. I only get ideas from it..

 

[Froody Blue Gem]

I don't much like it when people notice I am struggling. I like to figure things out on my own and when people jump in to help me, I never quite learn. People are not mindreaders, and they genuinely mean well. I do appreciate help when it's needed but I want to try things out myself first. I will ask for help if I do need it.

With vulnerable emotional states, I prefer not to have them pried out of me. If people ask me about them when I am not ready to talk, it just makes things worse than they need to be. Different people have different needs when it comes to this. Once I let people in on the deep friendship level, I let them see vulnerabilities, and it feels good to let my guard down. There is only so far that will go because I'm a pretty private person.

 

[RadicalDoubt]

I found this to be the case with a lot of high T types in general. F types tend to be a bit more open with expression especially in this light, though I don't really think this is a super strong correlation. Socially speaking, displaying excess vulnerability is strongly frowned upon, so I'd question if it were actually type related or not.

Personally, I struggle to ask for help, especially when dealing with my own problems. I'm inclined to feel weak and incompetent and can become viscerally angry when I can't resolve things on my own. This of course excludes things I know I cannot do or know I am strongly weak in.

 

[Totenkindly]

I have trouble asking for help.

it's not necessarily that I feel exposed (although i can feel rather stupid if I can't figure something out on my own -- I have really had to work at realizing if I don't understand something, it's not necessarily me and something I can figure out with harder work, it could be information someone else omitted or just the reality of the topic) but I don't even think of asking for help sometimes. Doing something myself is just automatic, I have to make an effort to involve others unless I know it's something I am not properly equipped to do or something I know nothing about.

I do find myself getting annoyed with people who I think COULD operate independently or could figure out with just a little effort but who do not seem to make the effort to try. I like to work in loose collectives -- people work independently but everyone is accessible to everyone else when help is needed. So those who abuse that system by relying too much on others frustrate me a bit.

I do desire closeness with others and am fine with depending on them if I don't feel like I'm using them / if I feel like I made a good effort on my own but do need their help. I just enjoy being self-sufficient when possible and not an unnecessary drain on others.

Here's something coming to mind as I write -- sometimes I don't like sharing how I feel because people might mistake it as needing their help to fix the problem. I usually can figure out how to fix the problem and i feel dumb if someone reads it that way and misunderstands my level of competence, thinking I want help -- when I actually am just asking for affirmation. Which can be awkward for me anyway, because I hate to be a drain on others and don't like to enmesh them in my issues unnecessarily.

The funny thing is, I don't mind if someone asks me how I'm feeling; it actually helps, because then I know they are interested, and that I did not intrude on them, and they understand I am just sharing my feelings but not necessarily asking for me. It helps me feel like they care and they "see" me.

 

[cacaia]

If I had a penny for every time someone told me that "no (person) is an island".... I have to force myself out of my comfort zone to ask for help. I've been working on this. As of late, I've been more open to working collaboratively, but I still prefer to learn, study, make my art or solve a problem by myself. It often does not occur to me to tell someone I'm struggling with something...ad if I do tell people I am struggling with a concept, they often misconstrue it....so, yes, I guess this is inferior Ti?

 

[Totenkindly]

well, if you are an INFJ, that would be tertiary Ti...

it's not uncommon for more introverted INFJs to rely strongly on their tertiary Ti processing and whatever comes with that

 

[Coriolis]

If I had a penny for every time someone told me that "no (person) is an island".... I have to force myself out of my comfort zone to ask for help. I've been working on this. As of late, I've been more open to working collaboratively, but I still prefer to learn, study, make my art or solve a problem by myself. It often does not occur to me to tell someone I'm struggling with something...ad if I do tell people I am struggling with a concept, they often misconstrue it....so, yes, I guess this is inferior Ti?

This attitude is not limited to Ti. I have always been this way myself. I am much better about accepting specific practical help, especially at work where collaboration is essential and usually works out well for all involved. On a personal level, though, it is much harder. My comfort zone is that proverbial island.

 

[Obfuscate]

i tend to avoid revealing solvable problems in particular... the more i like/trust someone the more likely i am to reveal something when directly questioned... i generally downplay things a lot... sometimes i get whiney about what i think is hopeless, but i generally only do so with perhaps 2-3 people per problem (if at all)... as for shit with a solution, i'ld often rather be fucked than ask for shit... i am not certain exactly why that is anymore than i know why i let myself whine periodically before i suck it up... if i Really need help (and have failed to hide it), i'll let people help if they are pushy about it, or if i think it would bother them excessively if i declined...

for example: i once got of a bus around midnight in north idaho in winter... rather than wake anyone, i decieded to wear all of my clothes at once and sit at the top of some stairs in open air... i'ld periodically go for a walk if it got too unbearable... that is certainly not the most extreme example of my mindset, but it gives you an idea of what i mean...

 

[Maou]

Yeah, I never ask for help. I think its connected to my pride, and how I grew up learning to do things. I feel inferior if I was incapable. Asking for help only happens if I am DONE with something. Ill just let that person do it instead lol. Another issue I have is people don't have the same standards as me, and do a shit job if I ask them. So I don't let them. If you want it done right, you must do it yourself.