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[ENTP] Going Numb?

PalebloodHunter

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Does this happen to people? Is this a regular cycle? When in state of perpetual confusion (i.e. not seeing any resolution in sight), I mostly just end up in a state of nothing. I do have sparse moments of happiness when I hang out with friends or get distracted. But, it always ends back in this state.

This is something that is past the stage of sadness (I'm not emotionless, far from it). It starts with a complete and downward spiral that doesn't last long but then you just end up feeling detached, which kinda sucks because it's not solving the problem but simply shoving it away.
 

Kanra Jest

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Yes. All the time. I barely notice it anymore. I'm use to feeling relatively empty. It's why I listen to music to feel more again. Bring some color into this shady heart.

This extends to connections with people. They drift in and out. I have a hard time keeping any bond with anyone do to this detachment from most everyone. And even those I quite enjoy the company of I might forget about randomly.

It's really quite tedious.

I could swear I'm Schizoid.
 

PalebloodHunter

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Yes. All the time. I barely notice it anymore. I'm use to feeling relatively empty. It's why I listen to music to feel more again. Bring some color into this shady heart.

This extends to connections with people. They drift in and out. I have a hard time keeping any bond with anyone do to this detachment from most everyone. And even those I quite enjoy the company of I might forget about randomly.

It's really quite tedious.

I could swear I'm Schizoid.

RIGHT? Music DOES help. But, again it's just so temporary. It feels like drug addiction (not that I've had any), you just need to keep doing something at that point else you reset back to this state.
 

Kanra Jest

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RIGHT? Music DOES help. But, again it's just so temporary. It feels like drug addiction (not that I've had any), you just need to keep doing something at that point else you reset back to this state.
Bingo.

Drug addiction is a perfect word. Music becomes like a drug. I've ended up listening to music almost constantly at times for days on end at times. I'd be a chronic music listener, if there was any.

Idk how to fix it... Fall in love? Lol. So unlikely. Relations are just too fleeting. I just distract myself with constant outside stimulation like YouTube (people usually feeling emotions/funny vids, thoughtful vids, let's plays, ECT just to divert my mind and even feel something positive if said YouTubers is positive or being funny).
 

PalebloodHunter

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Bingo.

Drug addiction is a perfect word. Music becomes like a drug. I've ended up listening to music almost constantly at times for days on end at times. I'd be a chronic music listener, if there was any.

Idk how to fix it... Fall in love? Lol. So unlikely. Relations are just too fleeting. I just distract myself with constant outside stimulation like YouTube (people usually feeling emotions/funny vids, thoughtful vids, let's plays, ECT just to divert my mind and even feel something positive if said YouTubers is positive or being funny).

Well falling in love is what I thought as well. (I wrote about that here) It was great and there was a whole period of bliss. But, that was taken out and now that I'm trying to isolate, this void has come back. I've been taking up a lot of hobbies (bartending, volunteering for events) and as a contracted writer, I've been blazing through my writing assignments in record time. They give me great boosts of joy. But, I always return to this state.

I honestly don't know why this happens and what must one do to get this out. I can't get no satisfaction. xD
 

Zeego

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Sounds like clinical depression to me. Long-term apathy is not healthy. I'd suggest seeing a therapist, if possible.
 

VILLANELLE

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Not an ENTP, but, I feel like this a lot. I can't seem to care about things, but I still do them because.. I feel like I have to. I feel like I'm just going through some motions and just, like, I'm some spirit or being in some body but I'm not doing anything and then it's like, hey, why am I existing? I feel different from everyone, and no matter how I try, nobody will like me and like I'm doing everything wrong. I can't get rid of this feeling, but I know what I'm feeling isn't normal.
 

Agent Washington

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Yes. That's pretty much why I only watch comedies.

Sounds like clinical depression to me. Long-term apathy is not healthy. I'd suggest seeing a therapist, if possible.

Also yes. Depression isn't just feeling sad; sometimes it's not feeling anything.
 

Zeego

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Depression isn't just feeling sad; sometimes it's not feeling anything.

Exactly! I tried explaining this to people when I had depression about a year or so ago.
 

PalebloodHunter

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Sounds like clinical depression to me. Long-term apathy is not healthy. I'd suggest seeing a therapist, if possible.

Here's where it's confusing. It's not apathy as such. I have many interests, both spontaneous and consistent. I'm proactive in a lot of activities and I enjoy a lot while engaged in these tasks. I'm not even uncomfortable around group of people, and I always manage to make everyone laugh and there isn't much of a dull moment around.

However, it's mostly that my opinions are in such stark contrast with everyone I always end up feeling like I'm walking in the opposite direction. And that's not an issue but sometimes you just wish you could fit in sometimes. (However, you know that people are attracted to you because of the unique perspective you offer) There's a lot of conflict and contradiction and it feels like this numbness is just a defense mechanism of sorts.

And I don't know what it is that can help ease that out. It's not like I have job issues. I quit my corporate job to start writing for videogames. I'm following my passion. The work environment is very friendly. My life is falling into place. Every thing is better right now. But, this thing still persists.

If all of that sounds like garbled mess, I'm sorry. I don't know how to put it across clearly :|
 

kotoshinohaisha

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Yes. When i just chose to concentrate on my thinking side and doesn't follow my heart, i end up being numb which is now. But guess what, when I'm numb, and when i don't have feelings, i do productive stuffs. I feel like I'm being as intj or whatsoever. But I'm not happy. My social abilities went zero, i don't wanna socialize nor even tries to. But it's sad.. Sad.. :/ it's like, yeah i could be successful, but then if being sad comes with being successful what's the point of life? I'd rather be stupid and happy rather than intelligent, successful but lonely and sad.
 

Coriolis

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Yes. When i just chose to concentrate on my thinking side and doesn't follow my heart, i end up being numb which is now. But guess what, when I'm numb, and when i don't have feelings, i do productive stuffs. I feel like I'm being as intj or whatsoever. But I'm not happy. My social abilities went zero, i don't wanna socialize nor even tries to. But it's sad.. Sad.. :/ it's like, yeah i could be successful, but then if being sad comes with being successful what's the point of life? I'd rather be stupid and happy rather than intelligent, successful but lonely and sad.
This does sound like the INTJ stereotype, and in fact is close to how I operate. For me, though, happiness most often comes in the doing of that productive stuff, in the process of putting my ideas into practice/implementation. I make a distinction here between feeling as in the MBTI function, and feeling as emotions. There is not much of an emotional dimension to all of this, and I do find it more productive that way, but there most definitely is subjective (feeling) judgment. That tells me what is important to me, what I value. It informs what I choose to spend time on, in what way I wish to be productive, and serves as a source of motivation to help me persevere through challenges.
 

alabaster

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RIGHT? Music DOES help. But, again it's just so temporary. It feels like drug addiction (not that I've had any), you just need to keep doing something at that point else you reset back to this state.

I can relate to the music addiction. GOd. It's like there must be something to stimulate the brain 24/7.
Regarding the things that have been said, love definitely helps. No matter what you do, the void will come back unless you manage to identify the cause and fix the problem, which will lead you to the 'love' factor again. Ahhh love sucks...maybe we should reconsider the use of vacuum cleaners?
 

entropie

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when you get older, the feeling of nothingness becomes a feeling of stability and you will ground a lot of people around you and make them feel safe by being that way. In teenage years tho its taxing.

The thing with music tho, never changes.

 

Nomendei

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A while ago, I felt like nothing was important. After work, I just came home, watched some Animes, ate something and went to sleep. I rarely felt joy, often felt sad or just nothing and on times to times I cried myself to sleep. I cried not because I wanted to die, but on the contrary, I wanted to live. Music also helped me, but I couldn’t listen to it all the time. But one night, during one of my debates and monologue I have in my head, I changed of mindset. I still think that nothing has value, but now I made it my strength. I can take risks, I don’t care if somebody dislikes me, laugh whenever something bad happens and so on.
I’m going to die, it’s inevitable, so why shouldn’t I have fun living? I don’t believe in afterlife, once you’re dead, you’re dead. I won’t be able to remember anything, and thus, won’t be able to regret anything. Now I change interest every 5 minutes. Everything seems interesting and my curiosity keeps growing.
 
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