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  1. #41
    Senior Member Litsnob's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=INTJMom;2798966]Yes. I have mellowed out now, but I used to be all those things.
    I got tired of not fitting in, so I have taught myself to get along with others better.

    In some ways I am the opposite. I have gotten tired of changing myself to fit in, always having internalised the idea that I am broken or that my way of being is not the acceptable way. I am perfectly skilled at getting along with others, just tired of not being myself. The only solution is to spend less time with others.

  2. #42
    Senior Member Litsnob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    INTJs *hate* being irritated or annoyed. It's like being poked with a sharp stick.
    I only know some "P" types that would enjoy that. You're sure you're not a P?
    I am SO not a P. I do sometimes poke tigers with sticks though and consider it a scientific experiment. I think I was actually looking to see if an irritated INTJ acted in a familiar way, if the responses looked like something I would say.

  3. #43
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Litsnob View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Yes. I have mellowed out now, but I used to be all those things.
    I got tired of not fitting in, so I have taught myself to get along with others better.
    In some ways I am the opposite. I have gotten tired of changing myself to fit in, always having internalised the idea that I am broken or that my way of being is not the acceptable way. I am perfectly skilled at getting along with others, just tired of not being myself. The only solution is to spend less time with others.
    Nein, don't play victim now.

  4. #44
    Senior Member Litsnob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chubber View Post
    Nein, don't play victim now.
    You misunderstand and your tantrum is not cute.

  5. #45
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Litsnob View Post
    I am SO not a P. I do sometimes poke tigers with sticks though and consider it a scientific experiment. I think I was actually looking to see if an irritated INTJ acted in a familiar way, if the responses looked like something I would say.
    Ah. I see. Maybe that has something to do with your Enneagram? I am not expert in all this... just an "enthusiast".

    You remind me of something. I started learning about MBTI when I was about 30. It took me about 3 months of reading and studying to come to a conclusion as to which type I thought I was. I am so hard on myself and had such a hard time seeing any positive qualities in myself that it was only after I started comparing the "negative" traits, that I was finally able to identify myself. Haha! I forgot about that.

    Do you own any of the Barron-Tieger books? I found them the most helpful.
    Last edited by INTJMom; 02-14-2017 at 06:32 PM. Reason: spelling error

  6. #46
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Litsnob View Post
    You misunderstand and your tantrum is not cute.
    Tantrum is a human right

  7. #47
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    I'm a female INTJ. My T is near my F, so I do access both and it's miserable.

    I can care so deeply, far too much, then flip and become quite objective in that "poke it with a stick and see what it does" way. I am highly passionate about the things I care about, mostly people, yet can write quite coolly about vile subjects. I loved my kids but unfortunately expected more of their ages than they could reasonably do. Still, they managed to muddle through my parenting and come out fairly reasonably. I see someone in a perceived underdog position or hear someone put someone else down, and I'm very apt to stomp over and heatedly interfere in that exchange. If someone needs help, if I see it and feel I can help, I will offer.

    I'm stepping through a depression right now and trying to come out the other side of it. I have anxiety issues because I do care about people while not caring what they think about me unless I know them, then I worry and fret I've pissed them off unduly (stepping on toes is not an issue because that happens, but needlessly hurting someone stresses me).

    I have cut people permanently from my life and grieved over the loss, but still do not talk to them this day unless they approach me and apologize or prove why I was wrong.

    I can pull people's life stories out in the checkout line and do that routinely, but I'm tired after shopping trips and need a nap after I get everything put away. Parties and meetings have me talkative and chatty with people with the bubbling enthusiasm lasting until I get home, then I'm exhausted and want no noise, talking, questions, or discussion for the rest of the night and usually the next day. I tend to avoid these things because the overall emotions sweep me away to either join to oppose just as emotionally - which can have bad results at times.

    I wear black and jeans a lot because I can't be bothered to color co-ordinate. My hair is short because it requires little time to fix. Dresses and skirts are horrid things that require painful shaving and fixing up that I see little point in. I understand society has fashions and trends, but I fail to see why those should impact my life. My nails are neatly trimmed and clipped, but I've never had a manicure/pedicure because what's the point.

    That's my INTJ life as a female.
    Likes INTJMom, Trash Panda liked this post

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