CubeWuerfel
New member
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2016
- Messages
- 12
- MBTI Type
- INFJ
- Enneagram
- 5w4
*sigh* ...that I'd come back here for venting...
Anyways... I'm having a long-term romantic relationship with one of you guys and honestly, I've never had a (romantic) relationship that's been even remotely as difficult as my current one as our differences clash constantly and it's basically the same issue over and over again.
I don't talk very much, he says it annoys him. I think he finds it suspicious in a way, as if I was hiding things from him. He says he doesn't like my short answers to his questions and that he needs to ask and ask until he finally gets to hear what he wanted to know which gets on his nerves. I don't really understand his problem though, he asks me short general questions with few details and I give him short general answers with few Details as well. I'm an intuitive too but I don't really like hidden Messages, People should just say whatever the fuck they want in a clear manner instead of expecting people to read your mind and know what you actually meant and what you want. Half of the times when we're having an Argument I'm asking him "What? Explain that/ what did you mean when you said that?" and often I have to ask him that a lot until I can think I've understood. He can react very annoyed saying things like "What in the world did I say that you can't understand? It's pretty simple. I'm tired of explaining, I've tried to explain so often / I don't feel like talking about this anymore" whereas I've remained pretty calm and could continue talking about it for long. I'm thinking, "I'll ask him until I understand", idk, I don't get all emotional, I view it simply as a Problem that Needs solving, if I can't solve it now, k, maybe tomorrow, nothing to stress about....but he stresses about it.
Often I think "What's the deal?" or "Wait, what now again... did I miss something?" and I feel like arguing with a feeler though I am the damn feeler in our relation. I don't understand how the hell he interprets my Actions as "warning signs" for things such us hiding things, cheating on him with other men / thinking about cheating on him with other men, but well that's ok, but I think it isn't really reasonable or ok to still get mad after I've told him things like " I love you" , "I'd find it disgusting to sleep with People I don't know", "I think it's normal to be faithful in a relationship" or "I'm glad I got to know you" or "You know, I don't talk much because I'm kinda shy, I've made bad experiences with people" which get on MY nerves (it wasn't really easy for me to say all that). Some of the things he says make me wonder "Did he even listen to me back then..? Did he somehow fall on his head in an unfortunate way and forgot everything I told him as a result?". He's good at reasoning but I think insecurity Feeds his Imagination a great deal of the time. But...why is he insecure? Because I don't talk that much. And maybe because of some experiences too. Why do I not talk that much? I'm shy and all. I'm trying though, that's not an excuse I know, but I've told him about it....and still it gets on his nerves. It's an never ending cycle.
What on earth am I doing wrong, what the hell is even happening here, does the problem really lie on us being so different? Is it something else? I feel like I barely understand the problem as my solutions seemingly never made too much of a difference. Feedback in any form is appreciated.
Anyways... I'm having a long-term romantic relationship with one of you guys and honestly, I've never had a (romantic) relationship that's been even remotely as difficult as my current one as our differences clash constantly and it's basically the same issue over and over again.
I don't talk very much, he says it annoys him. I think he finds it suspicious in a way, as if I was hiding things from him. He says he doesn't like my short answers to his questions and that he needs to ask and ask until he finally gets to hear what he wanted to know which gets on his nerves. I don't really understand his problem though, he asks me short general questions with few details and I give him short general answers with few Details as well. I'm an intuitive too but I don't really like hidden Messages, People should just say whatever the fuck they want in a clear manner instead of expecting people to read your mind and know what you actually meant and what you want. Half of the times when we're having an Argument I'm asking him "What? Explain that/ what did you mean when you said that?" and often I have to ask him that a lot until I can think I've understood. He can react very annoyed saying things like "What in the world did I say that you can't understand? It's pretty simple. I'm tired of explaining, I've tried to explain so often / I don't feel like talking about this anymore" whereas I've remained pretty calm and could continue talking about it for long. I'm thinking, "I'll ask him until I understand", idk, I don't get all emotional, I view it simply as a Problem that Needs solving, if I can't solve it now, k, maybe tomorrow, nothing to stress about....but he stresses about it.
Often I think "What's the deal?" or "Wait, what now again... did I miss something?" and I feel like arguing with a feeler though I am the damn feeler in our relation. I don't understand how the hell he interprets my Actions as "warning signs" for things such us hiding things, cheating on him with other men / thinking about cheating on him with other men, but well that's ok, but I think it isn't really reasonable or ok to still get mad after I've told him things like " I love you" , "I'd find it disgusting to sleep with People I don't know", "I think it's normal to be faithful in a relationship" or "I'm glad I got to know you" or "You know, I don't talk much because I'm kinda shy, I've made bad experiences with people" which get on MY nerves (it wasn't really easy for me to say all that). Some of the things he says make me wonder "Did he even listen to me back then..? Did he somehow fall on his head in an unfortunate way and forgot everything I told him as a result?". He's good at reasoning but I think insecurity Feeds his Imagination a great deal of the time. But...why is he insecure? Because I don't talk that much. And maybe because of some experiences too. Why do I not talk that much? I'm shy and all. I'm trying though, that's not an excuse I know, but I've told him about it....and still it gets on his nerves. It's an never ending cycle.
What on earth am I doing wrong, what the hell is even happening here, does the problem really lie on us being so different? Is it something else? I feel like I barely understand the problem as my solutions seemingly never made too much of a difference. Feedback in any form is appreciated.