[ENTP] ENTPs--TALK TO ME

[Ene]

[MENTION=17697]small.wonder[/MENTION] Thanks so much for answering.

I'm not sure why you've recieved such weak responses so far

, I took it as a sign that no one who had read the thread had anything of substance to say but they wanted to say "something." LOL. Or perhaps that the right people just hadn't read it yet. So, I am glad you chimed in.

1) he has said many times that being completely open and honest is his main desire/goal with me, that he has been prone to keeping his inner world at arms length from women in the past.

I've actually had this said to me, so it sounds familiar.

My role in this, of course is to be equally open/honest (very natural for me, anyway) and to respond with understanding or grace when he is honest about hard things.

I want people to be honest with me, about hard things and about not so hard things, too. I just want to know the truth is so I can know how to proceed on anything.

2) One of our larger conflict causes is Debate Mentality. He tends to slip into a need to argue, when I'm just trying to have a conversation, and often about minute details that don't really matter to me. We have had to learn the art of agreeing to disagree (which is hilarious because we actually agree on about 98% of everything in life-- that 2% is what I mean about debating about things that don't matter).

Thanks. I imagine that is what the auxiliary Ti looks like. I'm glad you pointed that out.

3) We are both rehash junkies. This can be amazing when it comes to savoring memories together or telling stories, but is kind of bad in conflict because we tend to review past arguments too... We actually have agreed to not do that anymore.

I haven't had any arguments with my friend yet, well, just one, but we resolved it.

4) Ideas and stories are fuel for both of us, and we are both naturally full of them. In that way, being ourselves is very successful in keeping each other intrigued and invested. Artifice or manufactured attempts at "entertaining" an ENTP would never work in my opinion, anyway. Another small note on this: we both love surprising each other, but he really doesn't like if a surprise it given away too early-- he really wants to savor the experience.

Awesome nuggets, thank you so much. I will remember this.

5) As you noted, we are both pretty independent (which is good), but underneath, we are also both pretty hopeless romantics. It's a very interesting combo, but also very balanced in some ways. I think this could differ with the Enneagram types involved (core and instincts), let me know if you might want some insight on what his might be!

I think he is a E 7 but I'm not definite. I am obviously an E 9 and sometimes I veer toward an 8. Okay, a lot of times I veer to an 8. haha.

[MENTION=4109]entropie[/MENTION] Yes. I can hear him coming off with something exactly like that.

 

[evilrubberduckie]

Just be blatant and honest. Do something uexpected. Be yourself . Dont hold back.

Be clingy ironically. Otherwise thats the only type of clingy we will allow. Any other forms and you will be dropped like a hot tamale.

 

[Ene]

Just be blatant and honest. Do something uexpected. Be yourself . Dont hold back.

Be clingy ironically. Otherwise thats the only type of clingy we will allow. Any other forms and you will be dropped like a hot tamale.

Why would anyone drop a tamale? Oh my gosh, what a waste of food! Just kidding. I know what you mean, but still, I had the mental image of a tamale on the floor.

Thanks, Ducky. This is real and honest feedback. I have learned that he likes a challenge but where is the line? When does someone's friendly challenge become a blow to the ego? Does that question make sense?

 

[evilrubberduckie]

Why would anyone drop a tamale? Oh my gosh, what a waste of food! Just kidding. I know what you mean, but still, I had the mental image of a tamale on the floor.

Thanks, Ducky. This is real and honest feedback. I have learned that he likes a challenge but where is the line? When does someone's friendly challenge become a blow to the ego? Does that question make sense?

It does.

But to the entp there is no lines. All lines means to us are obstructs in which we need to figure out to go around or break. Just because. For shits and giggles. FOR SCIENCE!! And to provw that there is more then one way to do something.

So dont worry about the line. Unless you want to rape him. Dont do that. Unless you have a safe word and permission.

 

[Ene]

LOL! Nah, I won't rape him, unless it's for science. I may throw him around a little though.

 

[1487610420]

I'm not sure why you've recieved such weak responses so far

Maybe mirror neurons.

Because assisting someone in crafting themselves to fit into some standard that might appeal to another person in order to securing having them be in a relationship of any sort is nauseating, as per sympathizing with not wanting to be that other person. But that's just a wild guess.

 

[evilrubberduckie]

Maybe mirror neurons.

Because assisting someone in crafting themselves to fit into some standard that might appeal to another person in order to securing having them be in a relationship of any sort is nauseating, as per sympathizing with not wanting to be that other person. But that's just a wild guess.

I dont see a problem woyh changing ones behavior in order to gain the attention to someone to whom you look up to. As long as you are still comfertable with the change and to whom you are growing into.

Some changes happen because of the influence of others. Its part of growing.
Later you find out changing yourself for the likeness of others isnt worth it. But its a learning process we all go through. Remeber you are no better then everyone else. Everyone goes through this life lesson.

Heads up. Constructive criticism is the way to go. Not passive aggressive bulshit.

 

[1487610420]

I dont see a problem woyh changing ones behavior in order to gain the attention to someone to whom you look up to. As long as you are still comfertable with the change and to whom you are growing into.

Some changes happen because of the influence of others. Its part of growing.
Later you find out changing yourself for the likeness of others isnt worth it. But its a learning process we all go through. Remeber you are no better then everyone else. Everyone goes through this life lesson.

Heads up. Constructive criticism is the way to go. Not passive aggressive bulshit.

Since none of this has anything remotely relevant to my post, let's dive into the nitty-gritty details behind the real reason why you quoted me.

Just kidding, I don't really care.

 

[EcK]

LOL! Nah, I won't rape him, unless it's for science. I may throw him around a little though.

 

[geedoenfj]

I have the day off tomorrow so I can visit Type C. Yay!

Okay, I'm getting to know an ENTP.

I really like this person.

I want a life-long friendship.

Tell me what you look for in a friend. What do you value?

Tell me how not to break my ENTP.

And thank you for taking the time to respond to me.

RUN AWAY FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

 

[Ene]

RUN AWAY FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!

What? Run? But then I wouldn't get to try out my super powers. I have a fatal flaw. I like a challenge and I like intrigue...so, there you go.

 

[geedoenfj]

What? Run? But then I wouldn't get to try out my super powers. I have a fatal flaw. I like a challenge and I like intrigue...so, there you go.

Well hold on to your fatal flaw because you're gonna use that a lot, if else, then you have my deep condolences, God be with you

 

[small.wonder]

Maybe mirror neurons.

Because assisting someone in crafting themselves to fit into some standard that might appeal to another person in order to securing having them be in a relationship of any sort is nauseating, as per sympathizing with not wanting to be that other person. But that's just a wild guess.

I don't think that's what she's trying to do, but I do agree that no one should be changing who they are to gain the attention of someone else. That's why I said this earlier:

Ideas and stories are fuel for both of us, and we are both naturally full of them. In that way, being ourselves is very successful in keeping each other intrigued and invested. Artifice or manufactured attempts at "entertaining" an ENTP would never work in my opinion, anyway.

 

[Ene]

I don't think that's what she's trying to do, but I do agree that no one should be changing who they are to gain the attention of someone else. That's why I said this earlier:

Exactly, I don't change who I am for anybody, but I do attempt to improve communication. In my eyes attempting to understand where another person is coming from is a sign of respect for them. Its a strength. And it has served me well in real life. Sometimes, it is difficult to accurately convey meaning in written text. There is no eye contact, no non-verbal cues.

 

[Eilonwy]

Maybe mirror neurons.

Because assisting someone in crafting themselves to fit into some standard that might appeal to another person in order to securing having them be in a relationship of any sort is nauseating, as per sympathizing with not wanting to be that other person. But that's just a wild guess.

Exactly, I don't change who I am for anybody, but I do attempt to improve communication. In my eyes attempting to understand where another person is coming from is a sign of respect for them. Its a strength. And it has served me well in real life. Sometimes, it is difficult to accurately convey meaning in written text. There is no eye contact, no non-verbal cues.

So, you asked for feedback from an ENTP perspective, [MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION] gave you feedback from an ENTP perspective, and you countered by explaining how he misunderstood your thinking/perspective. He told you what the process looks like to him, which is valuable information to consider.

Your counter was a little off target from what he was saying. He didn't say "changing who you are" he said "crafting yourself to fit into some standard". And, actually, he said "assisting someone in crafting themselves to fit into some standard", so just giving you the type of feedback you are asking for is not something he, as an ENTP, would find appealing. He was answering the following quote

Ene, my dear friend! I'm not sure why you've recieved such weak responses so far

by telling you why you are unlikely to get a lot of "strong" responses from the ENTPs.

Just my interpretation.

 

[1487610420]

So, you asked for feedback from an ENTP perspective, @phobik gave you feedback from an ENTP perspective, and you countered by explaining how he misunderstood your thinking/perspective. He told you what the process looks like to him, which is valuable information to consider.

Your counter was a little off target from what he was saying. He didn't say "changing who you are" he said "crafting yourself to fit into some standard". And, actually, he said "assisting someone in crafting themselves to fit into some standard", so just giving you the type of feedback you are asking for is not something he, as an ENTP, would find appealing. He was answering the following quote



by telling you why you are unlikely to get a lot of "strong" responses from the ENTPs.

Just my interpretation.

Correct. It's often not easy to realize how one's expectation and sense of identity can skew perception and reasoning, or completely (unconsciously) miss what would otherwise clash with the internal matrix's consistency.

 

[Ene]

[MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION] thanks for your feedback.

I do appreciate it and didn't mean to imply otherwise.

[MENTION=8244]Eilonwy[/MENTION] thanks for your observations.

.

 

[1487610420]

[MENTION=6723]phobik[/MENTION] thanks for your feedback.

I do appreciate it and didn't mean to imply otherwise.

[MENTION=8244]Eilonwy[/MENTION] thanks for your observations.

.

Please elaborate.

 

[Ene]

Please elaborate.

I am not always good with elaboration, but here goes:

First my response to small.wonder wasn't really meant toward you but rather as a general statement. I honestly didn't know what you were talking about when you posted the thing about mirror neurons. I mean I didn't know where you were coming from. I wasn't even sure you were talking to me, so I didn't respond at all, and I didn't have much of a reaction to it and at first when I read small.wonder's post and thought, "Well, I don't change myself for others, but I do care enough about my ENTP pal to want to see how he sees the world;" so, I responded.

Then I saw Eilonwy's post and thought..."Hm...didn't think about all of that; maybe I did misread his [you are a he, right?] intent," so there you go. I just wanted you both to know I appreciated you taking the time to share your thoughts.

 

[1487610420]

I am not always good with elaboration, but here goes:

First my response to small.wonder wasn't really meant toward you but rather as a general statement. I honestly didn't know what you were talking about when you posted the thing about mirror neurons. I mean I didn't know where you were coming from. I wasn't even sure you were talking to me, so I didn't respond at all, and I didn't have much of a reaction to it and at first when I read small.wonder's post and thought, "Well, I don't change myself for others, but I do care enough about my ENTP pal to want to see how he sees the world;" so, I responded.

Then I saw Eilonwy's post and thought..."Hm...didn't think about all of that; maybe I did misread his [you are a he, right?] intent," so there you go. I just wanted you both to know I appreciated you taking the time to share your thoughts.

Sure. You keep mentioning pal, but I think Eilonwy's feedback was about lifelong romantoc partnership, which one is it?