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  1. #981
    Moderator Yuu's Avatar
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    Pretty much any conversation with my Mother. She does not understand any sort of word-play.
    Sarcasm, puns, anything with a hidden, implied or inferred meaning will send her into a rage.

    These are probably my faveorite:

    I was in my room when I heard "GODAMNIIIIIIT!"
    I walked into the living room to see her doing a puzzle.
    "Why are you screaming at a puzzle?"
    (I really turn up my nonchalant attitude around her. Drives her mad as hell.)
    " This ONE piece! I can't find this ONE fucking piece!"
    I looked at the puzzle, glanced at the pile of pieces for a moment, picked up a piece and placed it in the hole she was raging at.
    " UUUUUUUURRRRRGH! YOU GO! GIT! GIT OUT OF HERE!!!"


    Then was the day she called me during a power outage...

    Mom: Hey honey, whatcha doin?
    Me: *Very annoyed* Learning that science is wrong; fire does NOT heat water.
    Mom: *Angry* "What!? What the hell are you talking about!?
    Me: *Poking at fireplace* The power went out before I got any coffee AND the grill has no propane so now I'm using my tiny cast iron saucepan-which my husband said had no use-to heat water in the fireplace but I think Ima die of caffeine withdraw before that happens.
    Mom: Uuuugh! Are you stupid?! That is SO dangerous!!
    Me: it really isn't.
    Mom: Well maybe not for anyone else but you know you're clumsy! What if you knock it over!!?
    Me: Knock over...the sauce pan?
    Mom: yeah!
    Me: ...the saucepan full of water?
    Mom: yes.
    Me: You're asking "What if the sauce pan full of water gets knocked over and spills into the fire??
    Mom: Yeah, you could get seriously hurt!
    Me: ....okay, well, I'm gonna let you think about that while I slowly waste away waiting on this bitch.
    Mom: Fine. Just don't call me when you hurt yourself! *click*
    " Do something, even if it's wrong."

    " I don't wanna have to but I will, if that's what I'm supposed to do
    We don't wanna set up for the kill, but that's what I'm 'bout to do."
    Likes I, Tonya liked this post

  2. #982
    Member INTP1W2's Avatar
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    I freak out when I've jumped in the car to head out for work when I realize I don't have my bluetooth headphones around my neck. I jump out the car and run back into the house and then realize not only are they around my neck but in my ears too.

    I'm notorious for looking for my glasses when I already have them on. I even have a little thing I do with my hands to check if I do, in fact, have my glasses on. Don't know why.
    Sagittarius, INTP / 2w1 (used to be 1w2) sp/sx/so, ILE-3Ne ; Tritype: 2-1-5

  3. #983
    Senior Member asynartetic's Avatar
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    Today I was looking for my vape device all over the house, on the verge of being late for work, then I realized it had already been in my hand.

  4. #984
    Senior Member notmyapples's Avatar
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    I tried to lean on the wall that was at least four feet away from me.
    Likes Luminous, Yuu, Peter Deadpan liked this post

  5. #985
    Daywalker Hellena Handbasket's Avatar
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    I have two modes. Hyper aware of everything and have kick ass spacial awareness or totally oblivious and I spend 20 minutes looking for the keys I have in my hand, put my phone through the dishwasher and walk straight into the wall.
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  6. #986
    Senior Member
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    Why did I do the thumbs-up gesture when I said hello to a stranger? What's wrong with me?

  7. #987
    Daywalker Hellena Handbasket's Avatar
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    My husband was amazed that I am just now noticing our neighbors new angel statue that's been there for months.....

    ME:

    Or has it??????

    I've seen those Dr Who episodes. Now I can't blink whenever I drive or walk by there.
    Likes There liked this post

  8. #988
    A Bittersweet Symphony... The Cat's Avatar
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    With all due respect,
    The Cat.

    I stole the moon
    I made the stars align
    I showed you how to fly
    And you made me the bad guy
    I fought for you
    I kept you safe at night
    I would have risked my life
    And you made me the bad guy...

  9. #989
    Insane Visionary Kanra13's Avatar
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    Depersonalization/Derealization?

    Can't get any more disconnected from sensing than that. Everything feels fake. And I get this feeling constantly. I'm use to it.

    Like I'm watching a movie and not really there.

    I've contemplated being Se-blind because of this but it's actually a condition I have so idk if it can really be mixed together or explained away.

    c1094e45b0f69b2ca1c8b985a9aceefe.jpg
    "A life that lives without doing anything is the same as a slow death." - Lelouch Vi Britannia

    Alignment: True Neutral/Chaotic Neutral (Rational Neutral - Rebel Neutral)
    House: Slytherin
    ENTP-Ti / Logical

    9w8, 5w4, 3w4 sx/so

    In theory: the wings create a strong 4ish imprint

    How fascinating the mind is.


  10. #990
    Muffin Monster Earl Grey's Avatar
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    Taking a week to memorize a 10 min walking route because the moment you tail behind someone else, you utterly zone out.

    "Please take [item] from [location] and bring it to me."
    "What [item]?"
    *I check, [item] was within my proximity the entire time*

    "What party?"
    "What? You know, Justin's Birthday Party."
    "You mean the one yesterday?"
    "...IX, it was 6 days ago."
    TOLL THE DEAD!
    A cleric who acts like a rogue whose patron might as well be a warlock's
    and whose proficiency spread resembles a wizard's.
    Likes LittleCat liked this post

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