The good thing in both your cases in that you each share one of the 'odder' functions so there's a good chance (or as much as there in in any parent child relationship) that at least one of you is gonna get what they mean/what you're dealing with, and that you'll get some of each other's humor as a family.
If you're already living with and sufficiently understanding each other (being very different types), I don't think you're likely to make too quick/wrongful assumptions.
Many things depend on the E/I thing; If they're ENTP, it might not be that different from handling an ESTP/ your husband might have some insights - show boundaries but be careful not to over-discipline, encourage them to develop their ethical faculties if need be but keep in mind that they might be inexperienced & clumsy/ rather than malicious, of curse you have to teach self-control but be understanding that they'll need a lot of stimulation (which, for an ENTP would, of course, be more Ne ish in nature)
Something that would be true for both is try to explain the reasons for rules (of course, if you get sass, employ a healthy dose of 'stupid questions get stupid answers') and to avoid 'because I said so', as a) they won't listen, and b)
Independence & unwillingness to put up with stuff that doesn't make sense are ultimately good traits but a lil kid isn't going to start out with the best judgement insofar as picking their battles goes so that's where the learning process should be.
Being overly authoritarian & setting super high expectations is likely to give the kid procrastination issues later in life (though I don't think that's likely to come from you two)
I'd keep in mind that argumentating through social convention or shame isn't going to be processed very discerningly early on (Feeler parent: *well-meaning & fully deserved scolding meant to incite a sense of responsibility' TP kid: 'Who cares what anyone thinks that's got nothing to do with it.' or 'Everybody hates me T~T', little in-between)/ should be used sparsely & reserved for serious transgressions.
With an INTP... well, first it might be worth noting that Ti doms are probably the most reclusive types (more so if the kid is 5) - as long as they can handle everyday social interactions with some degree of suficiency and have a few people they get along with (family, a couple of friends etc) that's perfectly normal - You wanna give direct but constructive criticism and carefully explain why its wrong or why it upset the other person, don't expect them to 'just know' & don't attribute to lack of caring what can be explained by oversight, you wanna give useful feedback, not be so harsh that the kid gives up on having friends alltogether or ends up with some defensive superiority complex.
You didn't write easy as young children, quietly playing by themselves and enjoying the odd educational programme, with starting school being a critical tipping point where things can go either way depending on hw the teachers handle them, so there might be a need for you guys to be your child's advocate and assure that they get enough stimulation and time to pursue their own personal interests on the side (with emphasis on 'personal', "You are smart, yu must do extra activities!" could get disatrous. Gently encourage pursuits that could lead to something that might earn a living (finding an intersection between 'stuff I love' and 'stuff that can be useful' is often the big quest) but don't make their interests into a pressure situation. Think of it as almost a sort of almost a need to 'bond properly' with the material.)
Aside from the curiosity/'current obsessions' and the distinctly different behavior in disagreement situations, it's not that different from your situation as an INFP.
It would also help to figure out the kid's enneagram as soon as it becomes discernible.
That you have a genuine desire to understand & do justice by your kid is already a sign that you have the right attitude, and thus the capacity to find the right path when it's not apparent, in the end you're their parent who observes them & gets to know them every day and you're generally good at emphasizing with close people.
For what its worth, I think my own NFP relatives (ENFP mom & INFP brother) 'get' me pretty well.
Wishing you all the best.
