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[INTJ] INTJs - Do you suffer from a recurring sense of loneliness?

The Ü™

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Ube, I was pretty much asking for healthy ways of dealing with the feelings! LOL!

Take a Vitamin B-Complex supplement. That's been known to help with the moods associated with loneliness.
 

Alpha Prime

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EDIT: Originally in NF Idyllic, so some posts respond to the original "INFJ" content, not "INTJ". -- Jen

INTJs - Do you suffer from a recurring sense of loneliness and emptiness?

I do, and I don't know how to fix it.

When I feel that way, I feel like it would be so great to have a quiet, private, deep
conversation with someone, but I can never think of anyone who I could talk to.
I have thought of journaling, but it leaves me feeling empty because I would like a response.
I'm not sure if I'm having feelings I haven't identified or dealt with, or what's the matter.
Frequently, I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all day long.
I only know that I hate going around feeling that way.

What do you do?

I do not claim to be "intj", but I can definitely relate (except for the crying, and frequency part). I always find strength from within, from constructive thoughts. Change always begins there.
 

Not_Me

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I have never felt lonely, but when I reflect, I realize that I have no one with whom I can interact with on a deep level.

I will need to start sifting through more people.
 

Maabus1999

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As an INTJ who lives off the independent streak, once in awhile I have to feel the opposite for balance (I'm human) and it does hit me hard for a day or two. I just go out and be extroverted to balance it. However, on a mental companionship level, I've been lonely quiet a while and it does bug me at times. Having someone who will listen and care about your ideas, and share her own...yeah be nice but not the best luck in the direct area I live.
 

bluebell

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Yeah, I'm basically lonely most of the time, even around my friends. The trick is to find someone else who "gets it". Unfortunately, I've come across very few of those people in my life...

Apart from my partner, this describes me pretty accurately. There are a few people I've met online who I've clicked with. In some ways, that's made RL a bit lonelier.

One thing I've learned is that I think I should be able to solve everything myself and actually isolate myself when I most need help. I've heard that from lots of INJ's. We even go to books rather than people to find answers:blush:

I do that. All the time. I have this irrational belief from the past that I should be able to deal with everything by myself and that I don't need help. The more stressed I am, the more I do this. :doh: (I'm most probably INTP, not INTJ, but this habit of mine is more to do with my past than my type IMO)
 

Kasper

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There are a few people I've met online who I've clicked with. In some ways, that's made RL a bit lonelier.

That rings true for me. I feel loneliness when I feel disconnected from people which is where clicking with people online can make it worse. Usually when it hits it's feels completely irrational, it just is, usually goes pretty quickly for me though.
 

INTJMom

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As an INTJ who lives off the independent streak, once in awhile I have to feel the opposite for balance (I'm human) and it does hit me hard for a day or two. I just go out and be extroverted to balance it. However, on a mental companionship level, I've been lonely quiet a while and it does bug me at times. Having someone who will listen and care about your ideas, and share her own...yeah be nice but not the best luck in the direct area I live.

Right.
I know how you feel.

I'm not feeling so bad as I was a couple of days ago.
My hormones were pushing me around, too.
 

edcoaching

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The women in my Bible study are mostly elderly.
We are supposed to get a new gal this year who I know.
She's an ENTP.
And now that I think of it, I could call her.
We've talked before and she's great.


Yeah...we formed our own group. Started with one close friend (ESFJ and believe me, she started our friendship--spotted me on the bus when we were both about 7 months pregnant). Then we each invited one more person we thought would be good. Well actually, my first invite was to an INTJ who couldn't fit it in. I couldn't think of anyone else and we went with just 3 of us until the ESFJ got a new neighbor. So maybe finding a compatible Fe friend is the ticket. She "drags" me all over.:cheese:
 

Uytuun

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My hormones were pushing me around, too.

Those are a bitch. :hug:

As an INTJ who lives off the independent streak, once in awhile I have to feel the opposite for balance (I'm human) and it does hit me hard for a day or two. I just go out and be extroverted to balance it. However, on a mental companionship level, I've been lonely quiet a while and it does bug me at times.

Yes.

I just stick it out when it happens, knowing it will go away in a day or so.

I've come to the point where I don't expect people to really connect with me, but I wonder whether that isn't just an easy way to evade true communication and opening up and all that fun stuff. Internet does fill part of the "void".
 

DigitalMethod

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EDIT: Originally in NF Idyllic, so some posts respond to the original "INFJ" content, not "INTJ". -- Jen

INTJs - Do you suffer from a recurring sense of loneliness and emptiness?

I do, and I don't know how to fix it.

When I feel that way, I feel like it would be so great to have a quiet, private, deep
conversation with someone, but I can never think of anyone who I could talk to.
I have thought of journaling, but it leaves me feeling empty because I would like a response.
I'm not sure if I'm having feelings I haven't identified or dealt with, or what's the matter.
Frequently, I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all day long.
I only know that I hate going around feeling that way.

What do you do?

Yes, I get this all the time.

What I do? I hope for the future to have someone to whom I can do the stuff you've talked about with.

Of course I'm still rather young, so, I guess I might deal with it differently in 10 years if I don't have that type of person in my life.
 

Tallulah

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I do feel a deep sense of loneliness from time to time. Most of the time, I'm fine, and I just live in my head, and I have friends and family that care about me. But every once in a while, I feel deeply alone, like no one really knows what it's like to be me, and I can't articulate it to others. Prayer, for me, helps in that situation.

I also think, like Jennifer mentioned, that in an effort to understand myself, I make myself so unique and special in my own mind that I alienate myself from others.
 

VanillaCat

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Hmm, well, INTJs seem say they feel really accepted and stuff around me and that I make them feel like no one else has.

So, you could talk to me ?
 

INTJMom

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I do feel a deep sense of loneliness from time to time. Most of the time, I'm fine, and I just live in my head, and I have friends and family that care about me. But every once in a while, I feel deeply alone, like no one really knows what it's like to be me, and I can't articulate it to others. Prayer, for me, helps in that situation.

I also think, like Jennifer mentioned, that in an effort to understand myself, I make myself so unique and special in my own mind that I alienate myself from others.
I can relate to that.

I think I met an INTJ today.

He's down on his luck, and all I did was listen to him and validate his feelings. He thanked me profusely for being such a big help. :huh: See. That's all an INTJ really needs.
 

INTJMom

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Hmm, well, INTJs seem say they feel really accepted and stuff around me and that I make them feel like no one else has.

So, you could talk to me ?
That's really cool.
I like ENFPs. Lots of fun.

I think I'd feel kind of awkward telling you the secrets of my soul before I even know you.
I guess the "someone to talk to" needs to be someone who knows me.
 

Lymitra

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"I am lonely but not alone"

EDIT: Originally in NF Idyllic, so some posts respond to the original "INFJ" content, not "INTJ". -- Jen

INTJs - Do you suffer from a recurring sense of loneliness and emptiness?

I do, and I don't know how to fix it.

When I feel that way, I feel like it would be so great to have a quiet, private, deep
conversation with someone, but I can never think of anyone who I could talk to.
I have thought of journaling, but it leaves me feeling empty because I would like a response.
I'm not sure if I'm having feelings I haven't identified or dealt with, or what's the matter.
Frequently, I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all day long.
I only know that I hate going around feeling that way.

What do you do?

As much as your post resonated with me, I doubt it is a specifically INTJ phenomenon. Feeling lonely is more like a human thing. It tells you that you are in touch with your emotions and that there is a divide between your inner self and outer environment. Sadly, I don't think it can be remedied unless one can fully integrate oneself into the outer world, where the inner and outer selves become one. It's hard to explain.

I feel the least lonely when I can be myself around other people. It's similar to that sensation of being so alive when I've surpassed my personal boundaries and fears and am just taking wild chances without knowing how they will turn out. When I feel completely true to who I am, even small talk loses its usual emptiness. I found out, surprisingly, that I actually really like people and enjoy getting to know them, the fact that I felt so alone in the midst of them was because I wouldn't allow myself to simply be me. I was trying to "fit a square into a circle," living by others' standards and trying to communicate their way. Never worked out.

As for finding someone to have an in depth conversation with, I don't think I've ever found such a person. How can I expect the other person to know what I'm interested in? There is no way they can know or figure out what engages me intellectually and emotionally. I honestly don't know the answer to that question, but I find my answer to emptiness in talking to strangers and letting people surprise me.
 

entropie

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I know my posts do not really contribute to ANY situation :D.

But I just wanted you INTJ and INFJ's to now that you have got at least one fan :)

[YOUTUBE="4ezR1ijzoPE"]Mind of the Wonderful[/YOUTUBE]
 

INTJMom

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I know my posts do not really contribute to ANY situation :D.

But I just wanted you INTJ and INFJ's to now that you have got at least one fan :)

Mind of the Wonderful
That was beautiful.
:boohoo:
Thank you.



Darn hormones. :blush:
 
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