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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Default Need help understanding my INTP, from an ENFP [affair?]

    So it goes, I've been exclusively dating my INTP for 3 years, going 4 years. We have had our ups and downs(as do most relationships), but whenever we are together, we have great chemistry. We share the same humour, we love sarcasm, wit, and we talk crazy ideas. We are sometimes serious, yet sometimes emotional. His emotions are so intense sometimes, i get surprised, however i love him, and i am glad he feels safe enough with me, to share inner thoughts with me.

    However lately, i've been bogged with his need for personal space and I'm just wondering, could giving him personal space lead to him having another relationship outside of ours? Is there a chance he would be lying that he is working, but in fact he is hanging out with someone else? I mean having total no contact for a few days at end is starting to be little scary, and my worries are creeping up. ENFPs like me are generally fine giving space, because we love to be independent and hang out with our friends, but we also want that occasional text to know what is going on, or if he is fine.

    Any thoughts from the other INTPs? What are the chances of "distance makes the heart wander"?

  2. #2
    Privileged Sh!tlord ZNP-TBA's Avatar
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    3-4 years together and you still can't trust your bf?

    Is there precedence for you to mistrust what he does privately?

  3. #3
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Default

    What's the INTP's enneagram?

  4. #4
    corona Hawthorne's Avatar
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    The nature of the introvert is having to expend more energy to engage or "act" outside of preference. This implies that their energy stores will become depleted faster than the extrovert and they will need more opportunities to recharge. This usually means seeking low stimulation, low energy cost sources of comfort and entertainment in the meantime. If the individual is invested in showing their better side to you, they may retreat more often since a drained introvert usually correlates to an irritable one. It has nothing to do with interest and everything to do with stability and self-preservation.

    Infidelity is generally considered a high stimulation, high energy cost activity and, at risk of leaning too heavily on stereotypes, INTPs aren't really the sorts you'd expect to be players.

    tldr: His behavior, as described, is par for the (introverted) course. He's probably drained and stressed. Give him time to recoup. Don't worry about two-timing until you see lipstick stains and/or another girl on his arm.
    Likes IndigoViolet11 liked this post

  5. #5

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    Well if you have been in a relationship for so long I think it's understandable that he also wants some time for himself. It doesn't necessary mean that he's having an affair with anyone... Distance in a relationship changes all the time, at least in my experience it does so I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

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