[NT] Accepting one's own short comings -NTPs

[totent]

I'm currently about to graduate from college and, as many of you would know, I have had to think about whether or not I know what my next step should be. Before coming to university, I was great at almost everything I did (at least I felt that way). I did well at school, I had a strong social life (superficial at most, which I realized later), and most importantly, I thought I had 'purpose'. My INTP friend (who got me into mbti actually), helped me realize a lot of things during that period of my life. I was a math geek at one point who really wanted to become an actuary. After doing advanced math I realized I didn't like it as much as I thought. Then, I fell in love with economics, and I came to college thinking I'd major in economics, but then again, economics bottomed out and I went into philosophy and political science. When I look back at the past few years, I do not 'regret' my decisions but I am not sure I was being honest about why I was making them when I did. I read a post here a few years ago that said something like, ENTPs are the jacks of all trades but the masters of none. When I look back, I think I took too long to accept this. To accept that I am not the "best" at everything. University completely transformed me, and not necessarily in the way that they say it is supposed to. I became an average student, I lost touch with most people I ever cared about and I began justifying my fall even more as it progressed.

My question for you guys, NTPs and ENTPs in particular, is have you ever experienced something similar? What's it like coming to terms with being good at everything but great at nothing? I am an ENTP and I feel we all know that ENTPs love themselves, and I am no different. But do you think that our self-love can be self-harming?

 

[laterlazer]

definitely been experiencing something similar. i've jumped from idea to idea, career choice to career choice and still have yet to fully settle on anything. i think i also equate not being one of the best at something to not being good at it so i've struggled with feeling like a failure continuously and expecting and almost aiming for being average, thus consequently never pushing myself. i made myself aware that the reason i wasn't excelling at things was because i wasn't sticking out through it, i wasn't practising enough and i would just quit things when i felt like it and move on to something new. i think it's pretty tough to come from school were you were excelling naturally at most things then go to uni and find out you're not that good at anything in the end, the contrast makes you feel sort of like you're failing. also a lot of people if not everyone is always on the lookout for their talent, the one thing that they're really brilliant at for multiple reasons, and when you feel like you can't find it or don't have one, it's pretty frustrating.

 

[IndigoViolet11]

Yes. I got the exact same experience as you do. My university years were so tough that not only it was worst in the beginning, but especially as it progressed. I was not able to concerntrate on anything, attend lecture classes properly, and by now, even I did a lot I doubt I got the energy to do so. I had no interest on anything and I had nothing tgat I wanted at all, and that applies to the nowadays me too. I never wanted anything nor got anything I wanba do at all. University is a very significant translation that I just couldnt make it. Too many things to do. Too much distraction, too little pleasure, and zero motivation. I really so far, endurance wise, endured studies of the paranormal in my life anyways. Other things just seemed both interesting, and supreb boring at the same time.

Am I good at everything, nah. There are certain area I am good at but that area was more of an unopened land that I got last year and I do not know much about it. I come out with feelings first (check my spoiler at sig) , which differs from a lot of intp, but in a split sec after that, is hardcore logical analysis as if I am the experiental subject myself. The thing I am good at is as vague as myself. I could not make up in exact if this has to do with some math, science, whatever subject found at school.

 

[ZNP-TBA]

My question for you guys, NTPs and ENTPs in particular, is have you ever experienced something similar? What's it like coming to terms with being good at everything but great at nothing? I am an ENTP and I feel we all know that ENTPs love themselves, and I am no different. But do you think that our self-love can be self-harming?

I really get where you're coming from. I've taken on so many different interests and had a whole slew of jobs I eventually got bored with. I was good at all my jobs but it was really hard to find one I could solidly commit to. When something becomes routine and stale then all potential seems to evaporate and my mind instinctively looks for something else new and challenging/interesting.

Being an ENTP is kind of a double edged sword. The good news is that we're very adept and usually very proficient at whatever we pick up and run with. We're quick at understanding concepts and even better at manipulating them to serve whatever purpose we desire (usually just to have fun with it). The bad news is that we often lack follow through and will not 'stick with it' and are liable to just drop it cold.

I'm good at a lot of things, I think I'm great at distilling ideas, morphing them, and repackaging them into whatever I want. I think I'm great at illuminating perspectives and engaging with people. I think I'm great at challenging/presenting ideas and debating/explaining them. Most ENTPs I've met are in a similar boat and share these characteristics.

There is even better news though. Since you're about to graduate college you're most likely 10 years my junior. As you get older you'll become a little more 'grounded' as you take on the real world (outside university) on a daily basis. You're adept so you'll acclimate quite well and find your niche. Functionally your lower functions ( Fe, Si, etc.) will tend to manifest themselves more prominently and you'll start to feel more balanced and might even find something you can stick with.

Hope this helps my young friend.

 

[jfh06dd]

Hello this is my first post on the boards and I have been a mbti enthusiast for awhile.

I believe I had a similar experience as yours coming out of college and I believe it is all part of growing up to be honest. I graduated with a degree in economics but went to work in retail for a theme park after college and I was miserable. Before college I was more extroverted and more trusting of people but I had some bad experiences with people in college and now I am slow to trust and not personable at first. Eventually I quit my job because of the commute and essentially lived in my parents' basement analyzing and playing Starcraft games and became so consumed with it and never left the room that I lost my grasp on reality and had a psychotic break. I went to a treatment facility for a month and came out feeling better but the antipsychotic meds made me fat and out of shape.

They diagnosed me with schizoaffective disorder which I have found is a possible condition for an enneagram 5 or Introverted rational. Since then I have gained employment with an insurance company managing automobile claims which paid well but was more stress than I could handle so I quit that too. During the course of my employment with the insurance company, I tried to start a side business of buying and reselling basketball sneakers on the aftermarket on ebay and taught me alot about starting a business.

Now I have a number of jobs including driving for Uber which I love because of the independence and freedom but the overhead is a bit much to be too reliant on it. I am taking a few courses in accounting and finance at a local college to supplement my degree in econ with some more applied skills currently but in all honesty I am not totally sure I want to work in that either.

 

[Totenkindly]

Age and time forces you to have a more honest perception of self + it also brings you into contact with many other people, some of whom will end up being better at things you formerly might have been the "best" at in your smaller original group of peers. my life looks pretty much similar... high-school valedictorian, without much effort, but then once people started becoming specialized, I realized I learn things pretty quickly but usually fizzle out (out of boredom? or not 100% commitment? Or not wanting to limit options?) ... so yes, jack of all trades, and a few specialties that I never hit the top rankings of because I just don't keep practicing and learning in those areas unless I'm forced to.

Basically, if you can find a job where your ability to see how things connect and your penchant for exploration is a strength, then that's helpful. If you have to compete with specialists, you could end up not being as successful. Also, I tend to float through my career versus having a long-range plan, mostly because I'm never quite sure of where I want to go + I find myself more reactive in nature than proactive, I like playing off things that happen to direct me. Again, if you can find a way to leverage that in a job, then you might be more suited than a specialist.

 

[totent]

There is even better news though. Since you're about to graduate college you're most likely 10 years my junior. As you get older you'll become a little more 'grounded' as you take on the real world (outside university) on a daily basis. You're adept so you'll acclimate quite well and find your niche. Functionally your lower functions ( Fe, Si, etc.) will tend to manifest themselves more prominently and you'll start to feel more balanced and might even find something you can stick with.

Hope this helps my young friend.

Thank you. That was very helpful. And I see what you mean about the lower functions. I have definitely felt that. This post is an external manifestation of it! I hope to achieve something useful and, sadly, 'practical' out of being frustrated by something I have loved all my life. It's easy when you can switch around majors and drop courses and still be 'on track'. With time, there has been a need to focus myself more and I see that my mind has started adjusting to it also.

 

[totent]

In university I am graduating with more than one majors and I within my fields I have moved away from the specifics and much more towards the broader picture. I can see myself in a similar position to you after this stage of my life.

- - - Updated - - -

Age and time forces you to have a more honest perception of self + it also brings you into contact with many other people, some of whom will end up being better at things you formerly might have been the "best" at in your smaller original group of peers. my life looks pretty much similar... high-school valedictorian, without much effort, but then once people started becoming specialized, I realized I learn things pretty quickly but usually fizzle out (out of boredom? or not 100% commitment? Or not wanting to limit options?) ... so yes, jack of all trades, and a few specialties that I never hit the top rankings of because I just don't keep practicing and learning in those areas unless I'm forced to.

Basically, if you can find a job where your ability to see how things connect and your penchant for exploration is a strength, then that's helpful. If you have to compete with specialists, you could end up not being as successful. Also, I tend to float through my career versus having a long-range plan, mostly because I'm never quite sure of where I want to go + I find myself more reactive in nature than proactive, I like playing off things that happen to direct me. Again, if you can find a way to leverage that in a job, then you might be more suited than a specialist.

 

[totent]

definitely been experiencing something similar. i've jumped from idea to idea, career choice to career choice and still have yet to fully settle on anything. i think i also equate not being one of the best at something to not being good at it so i've struggled with feeling like a failure continuously and expecting and almost aiming for being average, thus consequently never pushing myself. i made myself aware that the reason i wasn't excelling at things was because i wasn't sticking out through it, i wasn't practising enough and i would just quit things when i felt like it and move on to something new. i think it's pretty tough to come from school were you were excelling naturally at most things then go to uni and find out you're not that good at anything in the end, the contrast makes you feel sort of like you're failing. also a lot of people if not everyone is always on the lookout for their talent, the one thing that they're really brilliant at for multiple reasons, and when you feel like you can't find it or don't have one, it's pretty frustrating.

Frustration is definitely an emotion I can relate to. Along with disappointment in myself, however, I feel that it doesn't take me very long to "think" up a way to bypass that emotion rather than pausing and understanding it first.

 

[Coffee_Yum]

No worries. It's common. 33 and I am still struggling to find directions. It probably seems like a big thing from you at this stage in life but remember, there will always be time later on for re-train if you ever discover where your true passion lies. Perhaps it isn't even a career, maybe you'll be most happy with a simple job living a simple life. I find what's most fulfilling for me has little correlation to the field of what I am involved, but the skill set i must utilise to achieve my goals. Just take your time on discovering yourself, and more importantly to accept yourself.

 

[Forever_Jung]

There is no need to see our lack of specialization as a limitation. We have a neat mix of people skills, and getting the jist of a bunch of areas, so we are very good at coordinating and leading teams. It's kind of like that exchange in the Steve Jobs movie when Wozniak asked Jobs what he did: "I play the orchestra." And what does Jobs say to the computer specialist: "And you’re a good musician, you sit right there, you’re the best in your row."

There is nothing wrong with being a conductor!