[MBTI General] Most Submissive MBTI Type ?

[Dreamer]

I get what you were trying to say there, that's why I quoted the part where you said "ENFPs can be submissive to a degree" and then supported it by saying "I'm so easygoing." My point was that easygoing =/= submissive.

I mean, any type could be submissive obviously. I just don't think wanting positive experience necessarily means that you're more willing to let yourself be dominated by others.

I am glad you clarified that this is merely a disagreement on definition. To me, "submissive" has nothing to do with being dominated by others, but more along the lines of being passive, though, passive isn't exactly accurate either. I don't have the time nor energy to put so much of myself into each and every cause that comes my way. I pick and choose my battles to stand up for. I am not lacking any backbone, but preserve my energy for the matters in my life that mean the most to me.

 

[HongDou]

I am glad you clarified that this is merely a disagreement on definition. To me, "submissive" has nothing to do with being dominated by others, but more along the lines of being passive, though, passive isn't exactly accurate either. I don't have the time nor energy to put so much of myself into each and every cause that comes my way. I pick and choose my battles to stand up for. I am not lacking any backbone, but preserve my energy for the matters in my life that mean the most to me.

I definitely feel the stuff in bold. I think what you're getting at is that ENFPs can be permissive because we can see merit in so many things, and we're averse to shutting things down or even deeming them as "weird". When I see submissive, I think more of letting someone else bend your will and have influence over your views and decisions.

I think in this sense, ISFJs could be more permissive than other types. Maybe not for the same motivations as a type like ENFP (or even then, I'm sure there are ISFJs who don't like the idea of calling things weird or shutting things out because it doesn't jive with their values), but I could see ISFJs as a permissive type. Kind of like Marge Simpson letting Homer run rampant and still loving him at the end of the day. Does that sound good to you guys [MENTION=23583]21lux[/MENTION] [MENTION=26722]-Beatriz[/MENTION]?

 

[Yama]

I definitely feel the stuff in bold. I think what you're getting at is that ENFPs can be permissive because we can see merit in so many things, and we're averse to shutting things down or even deeming them as "weird". When I see submissive, I think more of letting someone else bend your will and have influence over your views and decisions.

I think in this sense, ISFJs could be more permissive than other types. Maybe not for the same motivations as a type like ENFP (or even then, I'm sure there are ISFJs who don't like the idea of calling things weird or shutting things out because it doesn't jive with their values), but I could see ISFJs as a permissive type. Kind of like Marge Simpson letting Homer run rampant and still love him at the end of the day. Does that sound good to you guys [MENTION=23583]21lux[/MENTION] [MENTION=26722]-Beatriz[/MENTION]?

Oh 100%. Under these definitions I'm for sure permissive and not submissive. This is actually a really good example. Yeah, this is like what I meant about having a high threshold for tolerance/patience. I'm willing to put up with quite a bit but I will put my foot down if something bothers me or I don't want to do something. I've been described by my mother multiple times as stubborn and strong-willed. The Marge Simpson example is a great example. Thanks for coming up with it!

 

[-Beatriz]

I think in this sense, ISFJs could be more permissive than other types. Maybe not for the same motivations as a type like ENFP (or even then, I'm sure there are ISFJs who don't like the idea of calling things weird or shutting things out because it doesn't jive with their values), but I could see ISFJs as a permissive type. Kind of like Marge Simpson letting Homer run rampant and still loving him at the end of the day. Does that sound good to you guys [MENTION=23583]21lux[/MENTION] [MENTION=26722]-Beatriz[/MENTION]?

Yep, this is quite accurate. When I get mad at someone I avoid talking to them for a few hours, but at the end of the day I can't just totally ignore them and be angry at them forever. One god example is when my brother accidentally let my beloved parrot fly away from home... I cried like a baby and got SO angry at him that I decided I wouldn't talk to him again for a good period of time. The next day I was already talking to him. Of course I'm still hurt and still miss my parrot and I wish my brother had been more careful. But I can't ignore people like that... I just can't, it's beyond me.

 

[Yama]

Yep, this is quite accurate. When I get mad at someone I avoid talking to them for a few hours, but at the end of the day I can't just totally ignore them and be angry at them forever. One god example is when my brother accidentally let my beloved parrot fly away from home... I cried like a baby and got SO angry at him that I decided I wouldn't talk to him again for a good period of time. The next day I was already talking to him. Of course I'm still hurt and still miss my parrot and I wish my brother have been more careful. But I can't ignore people like that... I just can't, it's beyond me.

Omg I relate so much to this. I'll have some melodramatic argument with my INTP sister and I'll be like "I'm seriously for real this time I'm never going to talk to her again." It never lasts more than a few days max. It also happens with my ISTJs. Occasionally one of them will say something that doesn't sit right with me, so I'll snap at him, he might snap back... and then an hour later we're like "so what time did you say you were coming over tomorrow again?"

 

[evilrubberduckie]

Alright, writing those off! I'm an ENTP, I'm as bossy as they come. It's not that fun when people just kind of go along with your crap just because.

Guys. I found my soul mate.

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE BITCH?!

 

[jixmixfix]

infp

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Fe-aux is submissive to maintain peace, gain approval, and fulfill their role.
Fi-dom is submissive because of being disconnected from social requirements and going along with others external directives when the internal focus doesn't seem to apply to the situation.
Ti-dom is submissive when they don't know how to analyze what is happening and deal with it.
Si-dom is submissive when they have been taught by experience and role models to submit
Ni-dom is submissive when disconnected from reality in a way that others can take advantage of.

I think some extroverts can be submissive as well when there is a need for approval or a lack of understanding about what is going on. Personal confusion and personal needs are what drive submissive behavior, but taking advantage of that will cost you dearly. Karma is a bitch.

 

[Dyslexxie]

Guys. I found my soul mate.

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE BITCH?!

And here I was thinking everyone was too submissive...
anywhere you want, I love this assertiveness!

 

[Such Irony]

Yeah, getting back onto the thread topic, I would agree with most people's assertion that ISFJs may be the most submissive. Why aren't people saying this about INFJs though? Is it due to Ni's tendency to be a bit "strange" and different?

INFJs have a directive social style whereas ISFJs have an informative social style. Therefore INFJ will appear less submissive as a rule.

There is more about informative vs. directive styles here: http://www.typologycentral.com/foru...ns/13868-directive-vs-informative-styles.html

In summary:
Directive style: all J types except xSFJ
Informative style: all P types except xSTP

 

[fetus]

Oh. I mean, I see where most of you are coming from, but ISFJs...can be fierce. Not overtly aggressive, but assertive in a protective way. Like, they call shit as they see it and won't let themselves be complete doormats. So, not aggressive for the sake of it, but will become so in a situation where duty is called for. Fe aggressiveness vs. Te aggressiveness, though. These types are more likely to be 1's, and probably have an STJ face. Does that make sense? I'm just basing this on personal experience.

 

[morganelise48]

I can't speak for other types... But as an INFJ, I can say we generally are. Remember though, we can spot a lie from a mile away.

 

[elcie]

I can be extremely submissive. But tend to choose relationships where I'm the dominant one, I tend to be quite controlling and manipulative, unfortunately...

 

[Samvega]

You say submissive not "passive" so that's what I will answer. Submission isn't based on anything relating to MBTI or cognitive function. Being generic in my response we all submit to others in the areas they know better, this is just acknowledging and yielding to their knowledge. Of course there are people stubborn beyond their own best interest and some types are more prone to this but that isn't want you're asking about.

I am a Dom and can give the perspective from that side and what I look for in a submissive. For me it mostly comes down to the motives that I look for, in a healthy Dom/sub dynamic it's an "exchange". So I look for a submissive that seeks a strong, safe, unconditional (love, acceptance, support), stable, self aware, attentive partner they can feel completely safe being totally exposed and vulnerable with and just let go. In my experience I'm far more likely to find that in the more assertive types, ENTJ, INTP, INTJ, ENTP, and so on. There are types like ISFJ, INFP that as a rule are too passive for me or wanting a partner to fill a void and take care of them which isn't a style that works for me. There are also types like the INFJ which I would never consider as a sub, they can't really lead or follow and seem to be super conflicted being either which paradoxically leaves them being neither and that doesn't work for me as there's no room for the "exchange" I need. I'm not condemning that as it seems to serve them well in many aspects of life but they aren't exactly known for their high level of saticfation in relationships and I think this is a huge part of why.

 

[JClassic]

infp

Why INFP?

 

[JClassic]

You say submissive not "passive" so that's what I will answer. Submission isn't based on anything relating to MBTI or cognitive function. Being generic in my response we all submit to others in the areas they know better, this is just acknowledging and yielding to their knowledge. Of course there are people stubborn beyond their own best interest and some types are more prone to this but that isn't want you're asking about.

I am a Dom and can give the perspective from that side and what I look for in a submissive. For me it mostly comes down to the motives that I look for, in a healthy Dom/sub dynamic it's an "exchange". So I look for a submissive that seeks a strong, safe, unconditional (love, acceptance, support), stable, self aware, attentive partner they can feel completely safe being totally exposed and vulnerable with and just let go. In my experience I'm far more likely to find that in the more assertive types, ENTJ, INTP, INTJ, ENTP, and so on. There are types like ISFJ, INFP that as a rule are too passive for me or wanting a partner to fill a void and take care of them which isn't a style that works for me. There are also types like the INFJ which I would never consider as a sub, they can't really lead or follow and seem to be super conflicted being either which paradoxically leaves them being neither and that doesn't work for me as there's no room for the "exchange" I need. I'm not condemning that as it seems to serve them well in many aspects of life but they aren't exactly known for their high level of saticfation in relationships and I think this is a huge part of why.

Very interesting. So the best submissive women are the ones to chose to be submissive and let go like the ENTJ, INTP, INTJ and ENTP. In your experience though the ISFJ and INFP are the most inherently submissive women. Seems like you have a lot of experience in this.

but who do you think is MOST inherently submissive: ISFJ's or INFP's ?

 

[JClassic]

I can't speak for other types... But as an INFJ, I can say we generally are. Remember though, we can spot a lie from a mile away.

Thats the problem with the INFJ dating now, she always knows when I am lying and gets very turned off by them. Hate that can't get away with anything.

 

[ceecee]

Thats the problem with the INFJ dating now, she always knows when I am lying and gets very turned off by them. Hate that can't get away with anything.

Why are you lying?

 

[JClassic]

Little things, like if I am dating someone else (I tell her she is the only one) and told her I didn't have sex in two years when in reality it was like yesterday lol

 

[ceecee]

Little things, like if I am dating someone else (I tell her she is the only one) and told her I didn't have sex in two years when in reality it was like yesterday lol

You sound so delightful. I can't imagine what her problem is.