[INTJ] INTJ flirting

[The Ü™]

1. No, because sexual harassment has to be unwanted attention (and is virtually impossible to charge in court).

2. fun. That's the point of the whole thing, imo. I've flirted with people who I was barely even attracted to just for the hell of it (well, I've done it for tips too, but that's a dif. story).

Well, flirting doesn't always have to be wanted, does it? After all, as I said earlier, it's ass-kissing.

Trust me, the slightest and strangest things can be considered sexual harassment to some people. It's considered sexual harassment even if it wasn't intended or directed toward anyone or even known by the offender (at least in Ohio). I've never made sexually suggestive comments toward people, and yet some people seemed to feel it was implied. This is the sort of thing that cost me jobs in the past.

And so I've been figuring out ways to get back at women for being so uptight. I assumed I can use their flirty advancements to get them to taste their own medicine.

Oh, and the definition of flirt is "to make playfully romantic or sexual overtones." Yes, that could qualify as sexual harassment -- it is very risky behavior, indeed.

 

[Metamorphosis]

Well, flirting doesn't always have to be wanted, does it? After all, as I said earlier, it's ass-kissing.

Trust me, the slightest and strangest things can be considered sexual harassment to some people. It's considered sexual harassment even if it wasn't intended or directed toward anyone or even known by the offender (at least in Ohio). I've never made sexually suggestive comments toward people, and yet some people seemed to feel it was implied. This is the sort of thing that cost me jobs in the past.

And so I've been figuring out ways to get back at women for being so uptight. I assumed I can use their flirty advancements to get them to taste their own medicine.

Oh, and the definition of flirt is "to make playfully romantic or sexual overtones." Yes, that could qualify as sexual harassment -- it is very risky behavior, indeed.

I see what you are saying. I think we are just discussing two different ideas. When I think of flirting, I think more of teasing, etc. not overt sexual advances.

 

[The Ü™]

I see what you are saying. I think we are just discussing two different ideas. When I think of flirting, I think more of teasing, etc. not overt sexual advances.

Oh, well then teasing could be a form of regular harassment.

In Ohio, for some reason, Harassment is a subcategory of Sexual Harassment and not vice versa. (Politics never make sense to me.)

 

[Metamorphosis]

(Politics never make sense to me.)

ah, the root of many problems...politics does, in fact, not make sense.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Well, flirting doesn't always have to be wanted, does it? After all, as I said earlier, it's ass-kissing.

There is kissing up to someone to manipulate them into liking you or making exceptions for you without caring anything about them. There is also 'kissing up' or giving compliments because you actually do like the person and want them to feel good about themselves. I was always really horrible at flirting irl, but have developed some verbal fun online.

And so I've been figuring out ways to get back at women for being so uptight. I assumed I can use their flirty advancements to get them to taste their own medicine.

What does this mean? You accuse them of sexual harassment? I'm guessing that very often the women who inappropriately interpret things as sexual harassment have emotional issues. Others may well just be liars and manipulators. If women project past wrongs from men onto current innocent men, it is also a shame when men do the same to women. Things become viscous cycles so easily.

 

[The Ü™]

There is kissing up to someone to manipulate them into liking you or making exceptions for you without caring anything about them. There is also 'kissing up' or giving compliments because you actually do like the person and want them to feel good about themselves. I was always really horrible at flirting irl, but have developed some verbal fun online.

Yes, but how are you able to tell the difference?

When you are complimented by others so you feel good about yourself, how do you know they're sincere? They're probably just telling you what they think you want to hear. These days, when people tell others the truth, which is considerably more hurtful, they risk a lawsuit.

And it's also a general weakness called compassion that leads people to avoid hurting others' feelings. Thus, they say only what they think you want to hear.

What does this mean? You accuse them of sexual harassment? I'm guessing that very often the women who inappropriately interpret things as sexual harassment have emotional issues. Others may well just be liars and manipulators. If women project past wrongs from men onto current innocent men, it is also a shame when men do the same to women. Things become viscous cycles so easily.

Exactly, and their emotional issues have cost me several jobs in the past. And now it's my turn.

These days, someone you don't like (there's not always a reason for disliking people) who is standing in the same room with you is technically harassing you. And harassment no longer has to be directed at anyone in particular, it could just be someone saying or doing something that makes another person feel uncomfortable, and granted, discussion of even the most trivial things is bound to make at least someone feel uncomfortable. In which case, a disliked person standing in the same room as you will then be considered harassment.

 

[Natrushka]

Do we have a frustrated smiley?

Fliting and being flattered aren't the same thing. One happens to you, and it becomes a question of whether or not you buy into it. The other involves more than one person, typically two, (however, I can see a case being made for 2+) and you are actively engaged in it - because you want to be. Flirting doesn't just happen to you, you need to be involved, you need to be open to it happening.

Ye ken?

 

[Rohsiph]

When you are complimented by others so you feel good about yourself, how do you know they're sincere? They're probably just telling you what they think you want to hear. These days, when people tell others the truth, which is considerably more hurtful, they risk a lawsuit.

Pretty wild cynicism right there. I mean, goddamn, if telling the truth means risking a lawsuit, there must be no reason anyone would ever do that! Or if it could hurt someone? Then it's even worse! Then they could impale you with shovels! You know, because if they get hurt from your hurting them, then the only recourse is to hurt you physically--with shovels. to death.

I guess my observation skills must often be deceiving me, because I generally am pretty confident about being able to tell when someone is being sincere or not. Sure, doubt will always enter my mind when a compliment seems unwarranted, but it's usually worth considering whether there is a reason for manipulation. Lots of times there won't be, and it's . . . what is it . . . paranoid to then enforce internal thoughts about conventional emotional dishonesty. I don't know about you, but the few times I've tried on paranoia it has been pretty severely limiting.

Exactly, and their emotional issues have cost me several jobs in the past. And now it's my turn.

These days, someone you don't like (there's not always a reason for disliking people) who is standing in the same room with you is technically harassing you. And harassment no longer has to be directed at anyone in particular, it could just be someone saying or doing something that makes another person feel uncomfortable, and granted, discussion of even the most trivial things is bound to make at least someone feel uncomfortable. In which case, a disliked person standing in the same room as you will then be considered harassment.

Rationalized revenge always works out so well . . .

That aside, I'm wondering what other days you might be referring to, about harassment having some weaker definition. You seem to imply some heavy experience with these things, so I am curious to hear where you're coming from.

 

[The Ü™]

That aside, I'm wondering what other days you might be referring to, about harassment having some weaker definition. You seem to imply some heavy experience with these things, so I am curious to hear where you're coming from.

When you say things that might offend others, but the comment is not directed toward the one being offended. So in essence, people now link their personal disagreement with offense. If a comment is not directed toward the person, then it shouldn't be considered harassment, because there is the option of ignoring. If what I say in general is harassment, then that's a violation of freedom of speech.

 

[Rohsiph]

When you say things that might offend others, but the comment is not directed toward the one being offended. So in essence, people now link their personal disagreement with offense. If a comment is not directed toward the person, then it shouldn't be considered harassment, because there is the option of ignoring. If what I say in general is harassment, then that's a violation of freedom of speech.

Alright, I think I understand and (mostly) agree with this idea theoretically. Wherein, in the event that I say something that might be generally offensive, but pointed at no one in particular, and someone interprets what I said to be something explicitly about him/her, I will not consider their misinterpretation to count as myself having harassed him/her. Indeed, it will take a long-standing relationship between myself and this hypothetical for me to sympathize and go out of my way to change or take back my initial statement.

I have experienced dealing with people who have reacted to me this way. However, this has never happened in a way where they have managed to cause me harm because of what I said--at worst, some have caused the minor inconvenience of making me explain that I was speaking generally.

Meh.

 

[avolkiteshvara]

Could anyone see an INTJ female getting aggressive almost bullish with their flirting? Not necessarily sexual but like getting way too close in the personal bubble. Physical touching in weird ways.

 

[Fluffywolf]

Could anyone see an INTJ female getting aggressive almost bullish with their flirting? Not necessarily sexual but like getting way too close in the personal bubble. Physical touching in weird ways.

Like giving you a thorough physical examn? Sure. But without underlying scientific motives? No way!

 

[avolkiteshvara]

Like giving you a thorough physical examn? Sure. But without underlying scientific motives? No way!

I've got one INTJ at work that is like this. I can't figure out if she is socially retarded or trying to flirt.

 

[Uytuun]

Removing their clothes and rubbing their hands all over their body is a pretty good flirting indicator.




Oh and Avol,

Doesn't sound typical. INTJs can be inappropriately intense/aggressive when they're really crushing on you (without being aware of it), but there is generally some ambiguity to it because they don't fully realise what's happening and they don't want to go all in and risk rejection. Touching is too obvious. Unless she really wants to eat you alive. In which case it was nice knowing you.

I can only flirt successfuly with people I'm not that invested in or with people I'm invested in, but feel safe with. Otherwise it's cringeworthy and maybe a little cute.

 

[thescientist]

INTJs flirt intellectually by manipulating words using puns and metaphors. Once physical connection has been established and the relationship is in full swing, INTJ women can flirt so seductively that most partners exclaim, "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, LORD!"

teehee yuppers

 

[thescientist]

Removing their clothes and rubbing their hands all over their body is a pretty good flirting indicator.




Oh and Avol,

Doesn't sound typical. INTJs can be inappropriately intense/aggressive when they're really crushing on you (without being aware of it), but there is generally some ambiguity to it because they don't fully realise what's happening and they don't want to go all in and risk rejection. Touching is too obvious. Unless she really wants to eat you alive. In which case it was nice knowing you.

I can only flirt successfuly with people I'm not that invested in or with people I'm invested in, but feel safe with. Otherwise it's cringeworthy and maybe a little cute.

What she said!^ (reading your posts is like reading my thoughts every time )

When I fell for my ENFP at work, even though he initiated, boy did I let it be known that I liked him. It's a side of me that rarely springs out, unless I REEEEAALLY like someone. But I never really touched unless he initiated or UNTIL I was comfortable doing so. And I think when I did...it was a hug or something like that. Nothing aggressive or bullish lol

 

[entropie]

INTJ flirting needs more power, for the blind ones to be recognized.

 

[highlander]

INTJ Farting? What is that you said?

 

[avolkiteshvara]

Removing their clothes and rubbing their hands all over their body is a pretty good flirting indicator.




Oh and Avol,

Doesn't sound typical. INTJs can be inappropriately intense/aggressive when they're really crushing on you (without being aware of it), but there is generally some ambiguity to it because they don't fully realise what's happening and they don't want to go all in and risk rejection. Touching is too obvious. Unless she really wants to eat you alive. In which case it was nice knowing you.

I can only flirt successfuly with people I'm not that invested in or with people I'm invested in, but feel safe with. Otherwise it's cringeworthy and maybe a little cute.

Good to know. Sounds like she is just a weirdo. Maybe S&M subconscious fantasies.

INTJ Farting? What is that you said?

I don't believe INTJ fart unless it is put into the schedule and properly planned for. :0

 

[Misty_Mountain_Rose]

I don't believe INTJ fart unless it is put into the schedule and properly planned for. :0

I think you have us confused with the ISTJs.