What did he do/say/etc. that makes you believe he was an INTJ?
P.S. I like how the implicit logic here is "INTJ = relationship petered out in three months".
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be insulting/rude. That wasn't my intention. I'll quote and elaborate on some descriptions of an INTJ I found on
this website.
...the INTJ often appears to others as a quietly self-confident (and sometimes stubborn) critic of the status quo...
This is actually an aspect of his personality I enjoyed, although at times he came off somewhat arrogant.
...More feeling types may find them chilly...
Absolutely! Although I'd never refer to him as a cold, uncaring person, he was very distant. He valued his alone time and in a relationship I prefer lots of...togetherness. Also, in accordance with this thread, he was NOT flirtatious. Not only did he fail to pick up on my flirtation, but he surely was not skillful at flirting in any shape or form. It made me laugh when someone else in this thread pointed out that you can't very well go from an intellectual conversation to sex. While I LOVED the fact that I could engage him so well intellectually (love, love, love intelligence), he had no idea how to transition seamlessly into intimacy. In fact, intimacy was just not his strong point. Whatsoever.
...The INTJ's interest in dealing with the world is to make decisions, express judgments, and put everything that they encounter into an understandable and rational system. Consequently, they are quick to express judgments. Often they have very evolved intuitions, and are convinced that they are right about things. Unless they complement their intuitive understanding with a well-developed ability to express their insights, they may find themselves frequently misunderstood. In these cases, INTJs tend to blame misunderstandings on the limitations of the other party, rather than on their own difficulty in expressing themselves. This tendency may cause the INTJ to dismiss others input too quickly, and to become generally arrogant and elitist...
I think that really says it all. He was quick, smart, witty, intelligent. On top of being smart, he was attractive. Really he seemed ideal in our initial interactions, but it became evident very quickly how we simply did not match up. Everything to him was about logic and facts, and while I appreciate that facet of his personality, I put more emphasis on feeling.
I could go on with more quotes from the link I provided that accurately describe the guy. The more I read, the further convinced I am that he is indeed an INTJ. I'm noticing that many NTs refer to themselves as nerdier than usual. This was also the case with him. I mean, I consider myself pretty nerdy, but he was even moreso than I could get used to.
When it came to flirtation and intimacy, he just couldn't meet my needs. It was a tremendously disappointing lack of sex appeal and flirtatiousness.
Edited to add: I am not saying all INTJs would be romantically disappointing. Please do not take it that way! I am just speaking on one experience I've had with someone I believe to be an INTJ. And bear in mind that I personally find flirting to be a fun activity that typically leads nowhere. I just enjoy it and feel comfortable being that way. So when I talk about this guy with negative undertones, it's because his personality stood in such stark contrast to my own.