[INTJ] How many INTJs do you know and what are their similarities and differences?

[Galaxy Gazer]

As far as I know, I've only met 2 INTJs in real life.

The first one is a self-proclaimed nihilist who finds fault with literally everyone she meets. This is difficult to write because I don't want to sound biased, but I'm just describing her. She genuinely enjoys getting others in trouble, and she hates when people break rules despite the fact that she frequently does it herself. I was in my high school choir with her and we were basically frenemies. We shared a distaste for ESFJs and "popular people," but I also knew she talked about me behind my back to her other friends. She talked about them to me too, though, so I figured it was just her personality.

The second one is more laid-back, but equally as ruthless. I was frenemies with her as well, but leaning more toward the "friend" side once we understood that we basically agreed on everything, but just expressed our opinions very differently. She has always been a great listener, and the type of person I could talk to about anything.

The main similarity I noticed between these two is that they were both very charismatic among their social circles. Although they could both be mean and overly-critical, they had groups of really nice friends who just sort of put up with them. No matter what they did, these friends (which were usually other INxx types) stayed by their side.

Another similarity is that they were both pretty open-minded. Both of them were tumblr users, and they were both very progressive. They were both social outcasts as well, which explains why I know them.

The biggest difference I noticed is that the first INTJ was obsessed with rules and order, while the second one was more chaotic really hated being scolded/lectured. Also I think the second one had some significant amount of Fe, because she would reach out to others and apologize after saying hurtful things, rather than holding a grudge.

 

[anticlimatic]

I know 8 in real life, and I hate all the ones I know from the internet.


Similarities with the IRL ones:

Arrogant, yet self loathing.
Sexy, yet kind of gross (particular about style, but hates deodorant).
Sexually submissive.
Talks crazy talk and stares at you when engaged in conversation.
Large wardrobes, most of which is worn in layers.
Is either extreme conservative, or extreme liberal.
Binges on interests for an inhumane amount of time.
Prone to addiction.
Iron clad loyalty.

Distinctions:

Varying levels of work ethic.
Varying levels of life satisfaction.
Varying levels of income.
Varying levels of intelligence.
Varying levels of emotional warmth.





Similarities with the internet ones:

All lawyer-wannabe asshats.



Distinctions:

None. Borg as shit.

 

[D'Ascoyne]

I'm curious about the "observant" comment. I have had people tell me this before - that I am observant. I recall in college my ESTP roommate put a 6 foot high plant in our dorm room and asked me if I noticed anything different. For the life of me, I could not figure it out. I don't necessarily notice things in my surroundings. I do notice how people might be behaving however and am very sensitive to others reactions, facial expressions, body language, etc. What do you mean when you say we are observant?

Well, there could have been a purloined letter effect with the 6 foot high plant thing. Were there other plants in the room? Was the 6 foot high plant placed next to a shelf? Or did your roommate stick it in the middle of the room where it clearly didn't belong?

As for INTJ observance: I would specify that your brand of observance is one of thoroughness and thoughtfulness. Always incisive, never superficial. Sometimes scary how thorough the INTJ thought process can be.

This is uncannily similar to an experience I had when I was at a friend's house. They put the large house plant in the middle of the living room, and I just walked around it. Didn't notice anything until they told me. I still laugh about it.

Did they put the plant in the middle of the room and take bets on if you'd notice/miss it?

 

[highlander]

Well, there could have been a purloined letter effect with the 6 foot high plant thing. Were there other plants in the room? Was the 6 foot high plant placed next to a shelf? Or did your roommate stick it in the middle of the room where it clearly didn't belong?

As for INTJ observance: I would specify that your brand of observance is one of thoroughness and thoughtfulness. Always incisive, never superficial. Sometimes scary how thorough the INTJ thought process can be.



Did they put the plant in the middle of the room and take bets on if you'd notice/miss it?

No other plants. It was in the corner of a small dorm room near the desk across from a bunk bed. Not hard to miss.

 

[D'Ascoyne]

No other plants. It was in the corner of a small dorm room near the desk across from a bunk bed. Not hard to miss.

I think there's some kind of reaction that happens when you're asked a skill-testing question, point blank. A friend once jumped out in front of me (out of the blue, random happenstance) while I was walking down the street and asked me if I noticed anything different. She'd cut her hair and dyed it a different colour but I didn't notice because I was in a state of excited distraction.

 

[fetus]

Did they put the plant in the middle of the room and take bets on if you'd notice/miss it?

I'll never know. I was out of the room looking for my phone, which they'd hidden from me (ongoing game). When I came back, the plant was there.

 

[D'Ascoyne]

I'll never know. I was out of the room looking for my phone, which they'd hidden from me (ongoing game). When I came back, the plant was there.

Well see, my thinking here is that your mind was already on looking for your phone, and this all took place at your friend's house, which is not the same thing as your own house. And while a plant in the middle of a room is something that's noticeable most of the time, there are other factors to be considered. Like, a houseplant in the middle of a room is a strange choice of placement, but it still belongs in the environment/scene so your mind is more willing to discount it as part of the noise. Whereas, if you walked back in the room and there was a fire hydrant or a wheelbarrow in the middle of the room, my conjecture is that you'd take notice.

Anyway, I love these kinds of stories.

 

[ChocolateMoose123]

My brother is one. Dated 1 casually. Friends with two. I work with one.

My brother and my co-worker worry. Forward thinking, technical databases. They know a lot but get bogged down easily and stress themselves out. Analysis paralysis.

My friends are snarky as hell. Dark humor. Sly. Hedonistic. Brilliant.

The one I dated was witty, sweet and very smart. I like that even when things fizzled he was cool about it. We were on the same page and I don't think I could make an enemy of one if I tried. I think they are easy to keep on their good side.

 

[limerence]

I know three INTJ's (all female) pretty well.

All three are extraordinarily smart -- one is literally a genius. I sat next to her in a college class and she would get a perfect score on everything, was never stressed, and always seemed very content. Along being amazing in the science class we were in, I later discovered that she was also an amazing writer and occasionally wrote poetry.

The other two are also very smart and have the same laid back attitude as the first. For example, even though they were always held up to very high expectations and consistently performed very well academically, they were able to fail without getting upset and would simply pick them up the next time (very different from STJ I know).

Two of the three are very articulate and seem to mull over their thoughts very carefully before talking and I always find their input very accurate and insightful (completely different insights than the ones I come up with).

Two of the INTJ's have a very subtle snakiness or maybe slight intellectual superiority complex that I didn't notice until I knew them for a while. I have noticed that they tend to sometimes ignore the input of others in favor of their own ideas (maybe because they think them over so carefully). This can be a bit annoying but it doesn't bother me too much since I like both of them.

One can be pretty selfish and rude when she gets annoyed with people but she's a good person nevertheless.