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  1. #1
    Junior Member
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    Default Why would an INTJ ignore you?

    Met an INTJ and we clicked really fast. Intense connection, which he conveyed to me once in a message. We're both sx/so, which is why I suspect it was intense. He came on really strong, which I reciprocated back. Then, he cools off. I don't like that he goes from talking to me nonstop, to not talking to me anymore... at all. He conveyed to me he wants to date (we don't live in the same state).

    I haven't heard from him in a while. I asked him not long ago that I noticed him starting to distance away, I asked him flat out if he's no longer interested in me anymore, just be direct and tell me now, I'll be fine. He told me he's just been really busy and stressed out. I am now panicking that I did something wrong and he's not being direct with me.

    I actually gave him 3 opportunities to break it off with me and tell me if he's not interested anymore, or if he's seeing someone else and he doesn't feel right talking to me, to just let me know and let me go right now. I told him I don't play games, I'm direct and expect the same in return. He assured me each time it's not the case, he said he has no ill feelings toward me and it's not that he's not interested anymore.

    I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone can go from talking to you all the time, to not talking to you at all - how on earth could you still be interested in someone?

  2. #2
    Senior Member asynartetic's Avatar
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    Maybe he just needs some space. No offense, but you may have been smothering him without realizing it.
    Likes Destiny liked this post

  3. #3
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    ^^ I agree. As much as it's driving you crazy, if he is starting to pull away- resist the urge to lean forward.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Opal's Avatar
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    Hum... was this thread swallowed by the abyss, or did I dream a few pages?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Opal View Post
    Hum... was this thread swallowed by the abyss, or did I dream a few pages?
    It's a hard thing to say. What's more likely, more than one INTJ ignoring an ENFP thread, or an INTJ/ENFP thread imploding with OT posts?

    (I don't mean to be insensitive, OP, but it appears that this type of interaction is par for the course, take it for what you will.)

  6. #6
    Travelling mind Oaky's Avatar
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    Many possible reasons. Stress, Space, Time, Thought, Disinterest, Anger, Fear, Schedule, Change, Work, Boss, Family. I think I do the ignoring thing a lot unwillingly but not because of the individual, but more because of certain other things affecting my stress levels. Often need some time and space.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Opal's Avatar
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    Yeah... anyway, on topic, I release all social ties on a fairly regular basis (not that I'm an INTJ prototype, or an INTJ). I somehow know more people than my extraversion allows me to connect with, and sometimes let attempts at contact build up until I do a big, batch response to everyone, apologizing for my hermitry. My advice, though: pretend he doesn't care and free yourself to entertain other potential interests.

  8. #8
    Unapologetic being Evo's Avatar
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    Either he's a coward or he's telling you the truth...

    Some people can go weeks or more without interaction, and still hold another person in the same regard as when they last spoke. It's not that uncommon.

    It can feel like torture though, for sure.
    "Once the game is over, the Pawn and the King go back into the same box"

    Freedom isn't free.
    "Freedom is the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." ~ Orwell
    I'm that person that embodies pretty much everything that you hate. Might as well get used to it.
    Unapologetically bonding in an uninhibited, propelled manner
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  9. #9
    Wake, See, Sing, Dance Cellmold's Avatar
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    It might not be that complicated, you might just be boring.
    'One of (Lucas) Cranach's masterpieces, discussed by (Joseph) Koerner, is in it's self-referentiality the perfect expression of left-hemisphere emptiness and a precursor of post-modernism. There is no longer anything to point to beyond, nothing Other, so it points pointlessly to itself.' - Iain McGilChrist

    Suppose a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?"
    "Suppose it didn't," said Pooh, after careful thought.
    Piglet was comforted by this.
    - A.A. Milne.

  10. #10
    failed poetry slam career chubber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ImNoBozo View Post
    Met an INTJ and we clicked really fast. Intense connection, which he conveyed to me once in a message. We're both sx/so, which is why I suspect it was intense. He came on really strong, which I reciprocated back. Then, he cools off. I don't like that he goes from talking to me nonstop, to not talking to me anymore... at all. He conveyed to me he wants to date (we don't live in the same state).

    I haven't heard from him in a while. I asked him not long ago that I noticed him starting to distance away, I asked him flat out if he's no longer interested in me anymore, just be direct and tell me now, I'll be fine. He told me he's just been really busy and stressed out. I am now panicking that I did something wrong and he's not being direct with me.

    I actually gave him 3 opportunities to break it off with me and tell me if he's not interested anymore, or if he's seeing someone else and he doesn't feel right talking to me, to just let me know and let me go right now. I told him I don't play games, I'm direct and expect the same in return. He assured me each time it's not the case, he said he has no ill feelings toward me and it's not that he's not interested anymore.

    I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone can go from talking to you all the time, to not talking to you at all - how on earth could you still be interested in someone?
    Did you exchange pictures and then he started distancing himself?

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