[INTJ] Why would an INTJ ignore you?

[ImNoBozo]

Met an INTJ and we clicked really fast. Intense connection, which he conveyed to me once in a message. We're both sx/so, which is why I suspect it was intense. He came on really strong, which I reciprocated back. Then, he cools off. I don't like that he goes from talking to me nonstop, to not talking to me anymore... at all. He conveyed to me he wants to date (we don't live in the same state).

I haven't heard from him in a while. I asked him not long ago that I noticed him starting to distance away, I asked him flat out if he's no longer interested in me anymore, just be direct and tell me now, I'll be fine. He told me he's just been really busy and stressed out. I am now panicking that I did something wrong and he's not being direct with me.

I actually gave him 3 opportunities to break it off with me and tell me if he's not interested anymore, or if he's seeing someone else and he doesn't feel right talking to me, to just let me know and let me go right now. I told him I don't play games, I'm direct and expect the same in return. He assured me each time it's not the case, he said he has no ill feelings toward me and it's not that he's not interested anymore.

I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone can go from talking to you all the time, to not talking to you at all - how on earth could you still be interested in someone?

 

[Doctor Cringelord]

Maybe he just needs some space. No offense, but you may have been smothering him without realizing it.

 

[hecait]

^^ I agree. As much as it's driving you crazy, if he is starting to pull away- resist the urge to lean forward.

 

[Opal]

Hum... was this thread swallowed by the abyss, or did I dream a few pages?

 

[Qlip]

Hum... was this thread swallowed by the abyss, or did I dream a few pages?

It's a hard thing to say. What's more likely, more than one INTJ ignoring an ENFP thread, or an INTJ/ENFP thread imploding with OT posts?

(I don't mean to be insensitive, OP, but it appears that this type of interaction is par for the course, take it for what you will.)

 

[Oaky]

Many possible reasons. Stress, Space, Time, Thought, Disinterest, Anger, Fear, Schedule, Change, Work, Boss, Family. I think I do the ignoring thing a lot unwillingly but not because of the individual, but more because of certain other things affecting my stress levels. Often need some time and space.

 

[Opal]

Yeah... anyway, on topic, I release all social ties on a fairly regular basis (not that I'm an INTJ prototype, or an INTJ). I somehow know more people than my extraversion allows me to connect with, and sometimes let attempts at contact build up until I do a big, batch response to everyone, apologizing for my hermitry. My advice, though: pretend he doesn't care and free yourself to entertain other potential interests.

 

[Evo]

Either he's a coward or he's telling you the truth...

Some people can go weeks or more without interaction, and still hold another person in the same regard as when they last spoke. It's not that uncommon.

It can feel like torture though, for sure.

 

[Cellmold]

It might not be that complicated, you might just be boring.

 

[chubber]

Met an INTJ and we clicked really fast. Intense connection, which he conveyed to me once in a message. We're both sx/so, which is why I suspect it was intense. He came on really strong, which I reciprocated back. Then, he cools off. I don't like that he goes from talking to me nonstop, to not talking to me anymore... at all. He conveyed to me he wants to date (we don't live in the same state).

I haven't heard from him in a while. I asked him not long ago that I noticed him starting to distance away, I asked him flat out if he's no longer interested in me anymore, just be direct and tell me now, I'll be fine. He told me he's just been really busy and stressed out. I am now panicking that I did something wrong and he's not being direct with me.

I actually gave him 3 opportunities to break it off with me and tell me if he's not interested anymore, or if he's seeing someone else and he doesn't feel right talking to me, to just let me know and let me go right now. I told him I don't play games, I'm direct and expect the same in return. He assured me each time it's not the case, he said he has no ill feelings toward me and it's not that he's not interested anymore.

I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone can go from talking to you all the time, to not talking to you at all - how on earth could you still be interested in someone?

Did you exchange pictures and then he started distancing himself?

 

[iHeartCats]

Why wouldn't an INTJ ignore you?

 

[INTP]

Why wouldn't an INTJ ignore you?

I was just gonna say this

 

[Gamine]

INTJs are kind of like cats. One second you're scratching their tummies, and the next second they're swatting at you to go away.

 

[Praefator]

Coming from a stereotypical INTJ, who just happens to be on a similar situation, albeit on the other end of the situation.

It happened to me that I (to my knowledge; I'm rather oblivious to social conventions and subtle signs the female sex throws at me, except for the entirely too obvious hair twirl/throw), flirted extensively with a co-worker.

Unfortunately for her, I could not for the life of me keep any meaningful conversation going, nor would I find much in the way of a conversation starter. As it now turns out, we have too little in common for it to have any long-term feasibility whatsoever.

Based on a cursory examination of the OP, it just may be one of two things. Either he's lost interest entirely, or is considering his options. I think looking into the LII (INTJ-Ti) socionomics type will allow you to understand him better.

Let me know if that helps

 

[Opal]

Based on a cursory examination of the OP, it just may be one of two things. Either he's lost interest entirely, or is considering his options. I think looking into the LII (INTJ-Ti) socionomics type will allow you to understand him better.

ILI* (INTp, Ni-Te) corresponds with INTJ.

LII (INTj, Ti-Ne) corresponds with INTP.

 

[Rampant]

He is either actually busy and stressed or he has moved on, and it dissolved.

 

[Praefator]

ILI* (INTp, Ni-Te) corresponds with INTJ.

LII (INTj, Ti-Ne) corresponds with INTP.

I stand corrected. At the time of posting, I had taken a quick test to see what my result would be like, only to discover this morning that the post in the middle of the night wasn't entirely accurate.

 

[RedAmazoneFriendZone]

Met an INTJ...
I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that someone can go from talking to you all the time, to not talking to you at all - how on earth could you still be interested in someone?

I don't know if INTJ are some constant lovers, it seems they generally are.

He probably needs his own space... as many NT do.

 

[Opal]

I stand corrected. At the time of posting, I had taken a quick test to see what my result would be like, only to discover this morning that the post in the middle of the night wasn't entirely accurate.

I felt obligated. MBTI vs. Socionics is rough at best, anyway.

 

[grey_beard]

Did you exchange pictures and then he started distancing himself?

...said the cat in the bunny suit.